One of my comments on reddit got "Best Of'd" and all of a sudden, what I thought was a little story in my hometown subreddit started getting replies from all over the world.
If you don't mind me asking, how are you doing now? I already knew is and has been completely dysfunctional, but stories like that still hurt to read, especially since they don't seem that rare.
So it's been a tough road. The initial change in insurance could have killed me. 2019 was one complication after another, after another.
Early 2020 rolls around, docs clear me to go back to the office instead of working from home... and we get shut down for covid. I haven't been back since.
This year, not having the best hospital almost killed me again.
Back in January I was having breathing trouble, we thought it was a complication from a medication change. Doc's office ordered me to the ER to get checked.
BUT - we were in the middle of a snow and ice storm. Ambulance system was overwhelmed so I drove myself to the closest in-network hospital.
Not a drug complication, 2nd heart attack in the ER... and the power goes out. Generators kick on, they get the angiogram done, confirm I need a stent, but that hospital can't do the stent and I need an ambulance to take me to the "good" hospital. This is Thursday night.
Remember though, snow and ice, ambulances overwhelmed.
"Ambulance crews were unavailable to respond to 2,834 emergency calls that month."
Friday morning, I wake up and am fiddling with my phone, Politics and World News aint gonna moderate themselves. :)
Nurse comes in:
"Were you asleep about an hour ago?"
"Yeah, why?"
"Your heart rate dropped to 30."
"Is that... bad? Sorry, I don't know these things."
(Yes, under 60 is bad).
Still no ambulance. Surgery is now scheduled for Saturday morning.
Saturday morning rolls around... same deal... up at 6 AM, fiddling with the phone.
Same nurse comes in:
"Were you asleep about an hour ago?"
"Yeah, why?"
"Your heart stopped for 8 seconds."
"Um... thank you? I don't know what to do with that information."
Ambulance got there, got the stent on Saturday, released on Sunday, then I had to go back to hospital #1 and drive my car home.
Since then my heart has stopped a few more times and I have an implanted blue tooth heart monitor that calls out through my cell phone when there's a problem. Doc is trying to see if I need a pacemaker or not. So far, not, but the battery is good for 3-4 years so we'll see!
I don't how to feel about this. It feels like half inspiration, half indoctrination. "sure, everything sucks, but just pretend it doesn't!! the cute woman will smile at u and u will leave the store together!!!"
The message about empathy is important. I don't think I could ever be "well-adjusted" to modern hell though, and I'm not convinced it's really something to aspire to anyway.
The video equates discontent with self centeredness and lack of empathy. But I'm not angry with the person driving in front of me, I'm angry with politicians and automakers who scarred our land with highways and parking lots, and prioritized cars over humans. I'm not angry with the people around me at the supermarket, I'm angry at the megacorporations that damage the planet and exploit people while filling up the shelves with a million "different" products that are all overpriced and somehow even smaller than they were last year.
The video may be well meaning, but I think it misses the mark, and works to reinforce the status quo.
you completely missed the point. its not about any of the things you mentioned.
its a reminder of being aware of your emotional state. thats it. not good, not bad, but that awareness of choice that gives you the power to control your own behavior.
Learning about tonsil stones triggered a lifelong fear and obsession for me...
The Reddit comment on grief https://www.reddit.com/r/Assistance/comments/hax0t/my_friend_just_died_i_dont_know_what_to_do/c1u0rx2/
