After mulling over it for close to 14 years, it seems Microsoft is finally ready to kill off the Windows Control Panel soon. An official confirmation has been posted on its website.
Because you touch y... wait no. That doesn't work here.
Let me channel my inner Microsoft and think of the most asinine...
OK, yeah, you'll have to touch and hold the right hand side of the screen for three seconds, then the left and the right for a further three, let go of the right and keep touching the left for three more, let go and then the settings will pop up. I call it "Son of sticky keys."
There will be no other way to get to those settings.