My friend JD Vance has never cuddled a couch.
My friend JD Vance has never cuddled a couch.
It's not true, folks. The lying liberal media wants you to think he'd shag a settee. That he'd bone a book stand. That he's creamied on the credenza.
Don't trust them. My beautiful boy JD, he'd never do it! He's chaste with the chaises. He's never loved a loveseat.
My VP would never fuck furniture.
...to completion...
Interesting specificity.
Is this satire? It is really hard to tell in this reality.
Sadly it is satire
Damn Snopes could've just said it was False, but they went above and beyond by linking all the spiciest memes. Including this one: https://x.com/MeachamDr/status/1815389845897789815
Well yeah but is the above response also satire or a real denial of the satire being true?
This stood out to me as well, and I too find myself potentially eating the onion on this one.
What a time to be alive!
LBJ: Let's spread a rumor that he's a pigfucker.
Aide: But he never fucked a pig...
LBJ: I know. I just want to hear him deny it.
If God didn't want us to shag couches, why did he make them so damn sexy?
You know what? It's 2024, I don't really care if you fuck couches.
There, I said it.
That.
I care really a lot if you accuse somebody of being Hitler and then go work for him. But fuck anybody caring about fucking couches.
You didn't think about the couch, do you? Animal.
Their silence on the geese claims speaks volumes, however.
Gives a new meaning to loveseat
Never to completion, eh? Looks like we found someone who loves being on the edge
LOL whatever you say. couchfucker.
Well, I didn't think he had sex with Jell-O, but this letter is making me questioning it.
Would JD Vance ever fuck a couch, melons, jell-O or other food stuffs or furniture? Just askin'?
Our nations furniture isn't safe with a predator like Jizz Daybed Vance in charge.
What's his stance on shooting puppies?
Lenny needs some flair or global politics filter
Gen-Z had entered the contest it seems.
Vance has fucked a couch
I have a KIVIK in my room. Never thought to have coital relations with it though. Pretty sturdy ottoman. The Ottoman Empire would be proud of the Swedes for it.