im dead

when you hire a cannibal to write the news

But the serving size is the same as with any human! It's the fat per serving you need to watch out for. Amateurs!
- I'll take the.crackling if you don't want it.

Arsonists. A calorie is a measure of energy needed to heat and they increased the temperature of the building. Thus, high calorie.

passive aggressive body positivity

Two gravitationally gifted pachyderms wanted for setting a flame's kiss to a personal urban retreat.
- Higher than average space time distorters

This screams manufactured outrage.

Screw you guys ! am not fat, am just a high calorie human.

When you try not to offend anybody and end up making it worse

Could be malicious compliance in the face of a policy to be "politically correct".

I don't know, calling myself high calorie sounds nicer than calling myself fat. Maybe I'll call myself high calorie from now on.

God forbid anyone use the word "obese." Don't want to trigger anyone.

To be fair to people who are offended by this, the weight of the criminal seems entirely irrelevant so it's pretty obvious that the intention was to rile people up.
The outlet that posted this is conservative and intended to rile people up on purpose.
You couldn't possibly know if they're obese unless you were their doctor.
- I can't tell if this is sarcasm
- Those fat asses are obese
There are some that consider the term obese to be derogatory.
I don't agree with that opinion, but I can understand where they come from. I generally support body positivity with a heavy dose of realism. Being overweight shouldn't be a reason for someone to treat you poorly, but pushing the idea that being overweight isn't unhealthy is where I draw the line.
If I were medically overweight I'm sure I would also not like any term that directly points to something considered a very negative trait, however clinical the word is.

could have used "body-positive" for more positivity

Damn they gonna burn that calories

That's a fantastic pun.

Is it ok if I’m laughing? I don’t want to offend my low calories soy milk.

Those women would be getting concerned friends saying they look dangerously thin in most of the US...

How will they ever be recognized with those little masks

Two "utes" 😉

It's just someone being a smug asshole. Why else would they waste text to describe something that is shown in the picture.

Pictures are transcribed all the time for the visually impaired.
- It is also a useless description for the visually impaired. It doesn't mention that they are in an elevator, what color the gas can is it any other useful information about the picture.

Delish...

Imperfect Cell writing articles now?

Two fat hoes