I kid, I kid - very sweet and adorable.
My partner and I are like this. We've been together for 14 years and are legit best friends.
I have a feeling too many people paired off right away and decided their first serious relationship was the one, and never actually found an equal. Maybe they married more out of fear of being alone rather than actual desire, or they just can't tell the difference between sexual novelty and love.
Even a lot of my married friends start identifying more with boomer humor than romance after 2 or 3 years. Way too many communication issue, or ideas of traditional roles or how things 'should be' leading to resentment or exasperation.
Court long and marry late. And don't hide your real self when dating.
That's limerence.
A more stable relationship is when feelings crystalize, but until then, there's limerence. Two-way limerent relationships are as unstable as a bottle of undiluted nitroglycerin. In any case, limerent relationships are quite common, and are the stuff of music, art, and poetry.
And here I am, divorced and never marrying again, lucky to be dating the same girl for eight years. And then there's that one day every few years where she runs out of her meds and begins believing I'm plotting against her when I ask how her mom is doing that I think, "I'm super glad I didn't get married again so I can just walk away if this shit lasts more than a few days."
That's love. Staying with someone, not because you're married and a divorce is a huge legal hassle, but because they haven't freaked all the way the fuck out yet.
PS, make friends with your pharmacist, fellow BPSOs. Make sure they keep those mood stabilizers and antipsychotic in stock.
I could not agree more about my wife! She is totally awesome and I really love spending time with her. We are constantly goofing arround. I had a crush on her since we have been 14 and started dating. Now 10 years together we are married and got our first kid. I could not be happier.
She is just changing diapers right now and I am thinking how lucky I am to have her.
I also believe actively trying to have positive/wholesome view on a world helps a lot.
This is why I really like this community.
This warms the cockles of my cold, dead heart.
I go through phases of this with my husband. We've been married for 13 years, and he is legit my best friend, and I find him to be just unbelievably hot af. I'll go weeks where I'm just like "goddamn, this is mine?"
And then I also go through less intense periods. He's still my partner through life and I'd get his back through anything and everything, but it's less "omg you're so hot" googly eyes and more like "this is the life we've built together and I'm so glad I did it with you".
But then a few weeks later I'm in crush mode.
Obligatory of course we have our periods where we annoy the fuck out of each other, but it's usually short-lived and we communicate and work through it. I think that's just a realistic fact of marriage.
He has made me such a better person than I was when I met him though. I think about that constantly.
I have this with a woman I'm not married to that I have known since highschool. She lives with her parents and had a kid from a previous marriage. I'm polyamorous and married but our relationship has since drifted into sexual friendship our other partner lives with us and we all cuddle and love eachother very much, but everytime my phone buzzes I screatly hope is another one of her art pieces as my heart flutters. When I visit her I can't take my eyes off her. She's so beautiful she's almost alien. Anyways this is very well rooted emotionally and very reliable.
Lol idk that seems beautiful and whatnot but not very realistic.
I wish I will one day have a partner that makes me feel this.
One of my 3 wishes from the lamp.
This reminds me of that twilight zone episode where the guys buys the love potion for $1 and then the girl he likes becomes his wife and then she is so obsessed with him the he can’t take it so he buys the other potion that makes the effects of the love potion go away, but the guys charges him $1,000 for the anti-love potion.
This post and thread gives me (back) so much hope. I always hoped for something like described here. But I never came anywhere close and so I have lost the hope over time. I was thinking in the direction of "I just want someone to share my life with. It will work out to be ok somehow." But some recent events and post like this give me back the hope to find a the person I really want to share time with. It also brings me the motivation to work on myself, so to be more like I would like to be. Thanks you all.
oh the dread of something evolving into something else
