I am 1pm friend

Damn morning people, idk why we night folks let them define things like business hours, we could have had everything opening at like 2PM instead :/

One ~~day~~ night we'll take it back...

Night gang rise... at 2pm
Oh we're all going nocturnal with this climate. It will be necessary. Maybe subterranean, too.
- Don't threaten me with a good time
- Ever heard of Coober Pedy?
Cause us morning people can't stay up past 10 without significant effort!!
- Sounds like it’ll be a you problem when we finally take over

I hate waking up at 11. Always feels like your day just flies by.

Sure, but in return your night just keeps going and going until you go to sleep at 4am.
It does. It's half over by that point.
- My day is from 4AM to 4AM not 12AM to 12AM.

Me laying in bed wondering if they smell the jizz.

Sometimes it’s hard to smell something that’s all over you, you don’t know till you take a shower and go back to your room that you stank af

I always suggest airing out your room while you shower
- I wash my sheets once a year whether they need it or not so that’s not a problem in my world.
Then the dog comes in, and smells a snack he can lick up, while you try to keep them away, and play it off cool.........but that dog REALLY wants that snack!

And thats when your friends walk into you getting an unwanted bj from a dog, and everybody is like "OH MY GOOOOOODDDDDDDDDD!!!!!!"

And you're like "wait, no, I can explain!!!"

I'm imagining it like it could have been a scene in "Theres something about mary"
- Do you often think about getting head from a dog?

My 6AM friends all start falling asleep around 9PM. Meanwhile, I'm awake until 2AM. There's a place for night owls and society needs us.

Yeah society needs us but doesn't want to pay shit for most night work. I hate waking up at 6 but I gotta make money.

6am friends could have also brought about world peace, but no, they had to wake up the 11am friend.

And not grab me an extra muffin or something to eat for breakfast...

Grab an extra plate for a bro if you gonna be awake that early anyway! You know you're gonna need my ass to get everyone's collective shit together at 1am, so we can all get back safely; why the disrespect for us "late wake's"?
And yet, they seldom want to stay up past 9 to party it up, despite society labeling that behavior totally normal.

The early birds sometimes pick and choose to an absurd degree.

Uhh, what about those that consider 11AM early?

1pm sleep in 🙌
- 1pm??? Why are you waking up so early??? Day doesn't start before 4pm.

Why can't people just compromise at a time like 10 AM instead of dying on their mutually incompatible hills?

For real tho.
Why are we playing by morning people rules? We need to make some decisions in late afternoon after morning people already went to sleep, those lazy bastards! :D
- They made the plan before the rest of us woke up. At least we are considerate when people might be asleep
Because most places run on morning person hours. If you don't get up early enough you can't get everything done because a lot of places close by mid afternoon. I think the compromise at this point is just divide society into day people and night people and just run everything 24/7. There should be enough of both for that at this point.

Prefers to stay home friend reporting in 🫡

(But not really. Since I'm still home)

Fellow stay at home friend here, 🫡 I got your six. From my home.
At ease friendo 🫡

Don’t get me started on the “first come first serve” bullshit that started this competition train wreck of a society.

I'm the man who's going to start sleep punching motherfuckers who try to wake me up.

You people got this.

That reminds me of my dad which is why I avoided waking him up as a child.
I've done this. Don't recommend it, but it's great to point at when telling people not to wake me.
Insufferable.
- no u

I want to punch whoever thinks being a shifted sleeper (4am-noon or 6am-2pm in my case) is a bad thing. I had a job that loved me for taking all the late shifts that my age cohort didn't want so they could have a social life. I just didn't want to have to wake before noon. :D

If I try (and fail) to keep social hours, aka business hours, I have to contend with severe insomnia (in bed by midnight, awake til sunup), or I just don't sleep. Either is bad for me, my health, and the sanity for those around me.

Where I live, most things are finished by noon, and stores close at 4 on the weekend. Late night shopping means open til maybe 7pm on a Friday. (I miss my home city/country. Weekend hours til 6pm, late night (open til 9pm) three nights a week. Moving here was like going back in time forty years.)

Grr Argh and stuff.

You're making me feel lucky for living somewhere things close at 2100. I've been missing my old city where things closed at 0200.
- What I wouldn't give to be somewhere where stores don't close down while the sun is still up. This is a capital city, even.

I am so jealous. I am lucky if I'm able to sleep until 6 am. The dogs sometimes wake me up at 4:30 and my wife snores like a sawmill.

Regarding the snoring:

I snore like a freight train... a real "rattle the walls" type thing. It doesn't bother me cause I don't notice lol. Unfortunately, my wife is apperently "unable" to ignore it (I mean that sarcastically about her; my snoring can be/often is impressively loud)

I tried taping my mouth for snoring, but ended up choking on my own saliva. Works for some, not for me

But I went and got a sleep study done (that you can do at home, with equipment they loan you) because I didn't want to do that to my wife (and I guess there's health benefits too). Surprisingly, I was diagnosed as having only "mild" sleep apnea. As loud as my snoring (allegedly) can be; I thought it would be worse. So I was prescribed a CPAP and got my machine... mainly because I didn't want to force my wife into another room 3x a week, due to my obnoxious snoring

And holy shit... I hadn't slept so well, in so long, that it made me feel a little sad/stupid that I hadn't gotten a CPAP sooner. You have to find a set-up that works for your sleeping habits... but my god! I hate going without it now. Sometimes I forget to put it on, and sometimes I rip it off at night... but I can always feel how unrested I am now when I don't wear it

TL;DR - CPAP's are awesome and worth any mild inconvenience they may cause. And they also stop the snoring, regardless of cause. It's an inflammation/soft palate thing; sometimes you need a little extra pressure. The sleep you get is priceless though
- Thanks for letting me know. I'm still not convinced a CPAP will help, but I don't think she's ever had a sleep study done either. If she did, it was long enough ago that it might be worth another.
Mouth tape. Explained how much snoring affected me and the missus started using it. Cheap, simple, and the snoring stopped inside a week.

As for the dogs, stop rewarding then when they bark. Don't feed em, let em out, whatever it is they're wanting that they bark for that you keep doing. Sounds like they've trained you.
- With the dogs, it's a light sleeper issue. If they start moving around, they wake me up and I can't get back to sleep. And then I have to use the bathroom and I'm totally awake.
Earplugs?
- I've tried and I can't fall asleep with them in. Believe me, I've tried every suggestion anyone has come up with.
  
  Part of the problem is that it's really hard for me to fall back to sleep if something wakes me up.

It is the same stuff we do between 22h-4h

I either wake up super late or super early, but definitely not at a normal people time.

I'm not a 6am person in daily life, but on vacations waking up early just feels natural

Days off too. I used to stay up all night, sleep all morning, and work part time at 5pm. Now I start work at either 4am or 7am, and sleeping any later than that on my days off feels as though I'm squandering my freetime. My wife and I still lie to ourselves and say we're going to sleep in, but then my 4-year-old wakes up at 6 like fucking clockwork, and it's all downhill from there.

What do you mean you don't serve breakfast anymore?

That's why you get up at 830 or 9, go eat, come back and nap

I used to be the 1pm friend, but then a got a job that starts at 1am. Now I'm up at 5am on the weekends, and I'm still technically sleeping in.

I wake up between 3-5am. Ugh.