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Been there. I tossed the spear of night accidentally and when we went to talk to the nightsong we couldn't kill her and had a very confusing cutscene with Shadowhart. We had to redo the Balthazar fight
Oof! That's a tough fight the first time through. Although I had my wizard blink up next to him and thunderwave him into the abyss. That was very satisfying.
Yeah it is. This was on my second playthrough and I was doing a cheesy tavern brawler monk so I could have solo'd the fight (which is also why I had thrown the spear). It only took us 10 minutes to reset
You could just leave it equipped once you get it. That's what I tend to accidentally do.
My condolences.
(..I should put it back in my inventory so this doesn't happen to me.)