but your increased productivity paid for (checks notes) approximately 1500 miles of your ceos private jet flights so isn't that worth it

There's that joke:

""" A guy is walking into work when his boss pulls up in a new luxury car. "Wow! That's a cool car. How did you afford it?"

The boss says, "If you hit all your targets, put in some extra hours, and really go the extra mile, I can buy a new one next quarter." """

It's not even a joke. My friend worked for a pretty small construction firm. They employeed maybe 16 people. He always worked longer hours and helped out at his bosses house for free. After work i would sometimes go to his workplace to talk for a bit because he was overworked and underpaid. I was there a couple of times where his boss explained that they were on the brink of bankruptcy and everyone has to work extra hard. Dude had an old bentley that was collecting dust and his daily driver was an AMG. One day came in with a pretty new Lamborghini, showing it off proudly to his workers who were still tgere at like 8pm working for free. How did they react? "Woah, cool car" taking pictures and shit. That was the most surreal thing i have ever seen.
- It's because all those people think that if they work harder, maybe, just maybe, they will be like him.
  
  Source: I used to be one of those rubes and now I know better.
- Unfortunately, most people can't critically think and put it all together.
  
  "Ignorance is bliss" resonates deeper with me as i get older.
Is good joke

they also remember when you were drunk, fighting with your spouse, forgot to pick them up, escaped the FBI in a drug submarine, stole their phone and sold it for Oxy, and carved a pentagram into the neighbors front door.

I... actually don't think they will remember those things about me, if I'm perfectly honest (I never let them see me doing them)
- Agree, and I'm never gonna admit that pentagram carving with the blood splashed on it was me.

Bold of you to assume I can talk to women.

In 20 minutes, the same is true.

This needs to be higher. Management only remembers you working late if you failed to do so.