Have you ever failed at something? How did you get back up after that?
Have you ever failed at something? How did you get back up after that?
Perhaps failure in college, class, career, or other things.
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FINALLY, something I can meaningfully contribute to.
I could give you a 'boo-hoo' story about how i failed to get into medical school the first time. Well I am. It was absolutely soul-crushing and morale-decimating. It was one of the hardest struggles I've ever had. It threw me into an identity crisis and compounded with my in-progress imposter syndrome in ways that would spark nothing but self-loathing and depression.
For months I agonized and isolated myself in my room until I realized that If I don't try for my own future, no one else can or will. Took a bit of self reflection to realize the fault lied with me. Took me an even longer time to figure out what mistakes killed my application, how, why, and formulate a plan to avoid repetition. The process took me 3 years. I won't tell you exactly how old I am, but people my age are getting married, buying houses, making 6-figure incomes, etc. By contrast, I am barely making minimum wage and banding together couch surfing and splitting rent with my friends.
It's tough not to compare myself to everyone else's situations. This was made worse by the fact my family and friends (maybe 45% of them) constantly shit talk me behind my back. Sometimes wine comes back up the grape-vine. Sometimes it isn't a sweet Rosso. I kept chugging along despite some of my friends and family acting as headwinds against me.
I kept up this process for 3 years, believing that I could actually do it. That maybe one day I won't be earning 10 dollars an hour working 50 hours a week. Most of all, I felt that I had a real purpose and goal to work toward. Medicine.
I am very proud to report to Lemmy that I actually got accepted to 5 different medical schools so far! I felt bad even turning down one offer for another.
How I got over my failure and crisis of identity? Maybe it was ego. Maybe it was my hurt pride. Maybe it was selfishness. Maybe it's because I am too stubborn to take "no" for an answer for something that means so much to me. I choose to believe that I worked hard for it and was able to swallow my pride and keep on chugging along patiently working for the light at the end of the tunnel.
Don't get me wrong, the light at the end of the tunnel is still an on-coming train. Medical school is hell. I realize it is nothing but hard work and suffering. Nothing would make me happier than to go into a field that makes a direct difference in people's lives.
TLDR: Medical school :D -> rejection D: -> depression D: -> epiphany :/ -> hard work :( -> a brighter future perhaps :).
This isn't a general formula or anything. I just haven't been able to talk to anyone about any of this. I feel that emptying out my feelings into the void of the internet might be kind of therapeutic. I never thought I'd share any of my deepest feelings on the internet, let alone reddit. Here, I feel comfortable to do so.
Plant the seed. Keep on watering. As long as the soil you choose to plant isn't salted, you will reap the rewards your past self has sown.
Congratulations!!! Yeah, it's a long road ahead, but you've got the in now. You've passed the biggest barrier to entry. After this, it's a marathon, but an exclusive one that you managed to get a spot at. I know you'll be a great doctor, especially because you have humbler beginnings than some and know how it felt to struggle. Humility is a big part of being an empathetic human being and a good doctor. You got this!
I know it's way too early to say, but what field do you think you'll end up in?
I was thinking of psychiatry or internal medicine!
Mental health is at an all-time low nowadays. I think it is a field I can make a more significant difference in. Speaking of higher ambitions, If i do choose psychiatry, I aim to become a lobbyist for mental health as well.
That's a very admirable goal! Definitely a field that takes a lot of mental fortitude!
Good luck and I hope you enjoy whatever field you end up in. I'm not a doctor nor am I planning to become one, but I'm partial to pathology myself...although it isn't patient facing.
There is a word that I love to use. Antifragility is when you grow stronger after a failure, and you are a perfect example of that. I love you for it.
I just read into it. Interesting. I thought resilience or robustness covered that, but it is an entirely unique term.
I'm honored you think so highly of me! In truth, I am a pretty fragile human being. My feelings are easily hurt, etc. (though I know this is different than you mean) I am working on being a little more thick skinned and such.
VERY late reply, but thank you the words :)
I was on a depression phase 10 months ago when this was posted, but unfortunately I'm still stuck on that phase. I don't know when I'll be ready to get back up, but recently I'm starting to see a glimpse of hope--a light at the end of the tunnel.
I just don't know how I'm gonna fix my big mistake in the past, I really don't. Fuck.
I am glad to hear lady hope has finally shown her face to you. I wish you the best of luck.
Truth is, we are all living life for the first (and hopefully only) time. No one knows what the fuck they are doing. If anyone ever tells you they do, they are either lying, or stupid.
Seeing hope is the first step toward recovery and growth. Find the motivation, forge it into discipline and routine. I know you'll do great.
I am really glad you messaged me now. Today has been I think the roughest day of medical school so far, so you really are reminding me to practice what I preach.
Just letting you know that I think about your post from time to time