"Hey, if some caked-up mud pie got on your face, would you just wipe it off with a dry piece of tissue and call it a day? No! You'd wash it. So why is your butthole any different?" - Detective Allen Gamble, 'The Other Guys'
By butthole is nowhere near my taste buds and designed to pump out fecal matter. Other than my lips. Bidets are cool but I if there isn't one that's not a problem.
Different enough that I'm fine with thoroughly wiping my ass. That's hardly "having shit smeared all around". I'm regularly under the shower and that's good enough for me.