Now We Will Get What We Asked For
Now We Will Get What We Asked For
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I wish I could kill myself
No you don't. Stay with us.
For what?
The best revenge is living well. Don't give them the pleasure of seeing one more person meeting the fate they want for you.
Today wasn't great, but the fight's not over yet. Not by a mile.
That's the neat part: The fight never ends. We just keep fighting and fighting and fighting.
I'm tired boss...
I totally get it.
In Buddhism, they teach about the eightfold path. Life is inherently a cycle of suffering that we pass through and grow from, but living virtuously helps make the world a better place and makes the pain of existing more bearable.
I've long since abandoned any belief of there being some vague notion of rebirth as a reward at the end of it all, but I have to believe that the world is a beautiful place and that it is still worth living for, even through all of the suffering. Human history has never known true peace, and yet it is a concept we can still understand and dream of.
Everyone has a right to wallow. I have had (probably too many) days feeling like there is no point in trying, just getting lost in my headspace and voluntarily depriving myself of happiness as if I didn't have any right to it. And today is admittedly one of those days.
But at the end of the pity party, I tell myself that I do have a right to be happy. Even if it takes me years, or decades, or my entire life struggling to reach that point, I have to believe it is attainable. And if it's not, at least I can die satisfied knowing I gave it everything I had. That's why, after I finish a few more bottles of soju, I'm going to take a long shower in the morning, get back out there, and let these bastards know they're not getting rid of me that easily.
And if it's not, at least I can die satisfied knowing I gave it everything I had.
That does not feel satisfying to me. And I’ll constantly wonder if there was anything else I could have done.
(Sorry I started drinking the soju so my bad if this rambles and doesn't make sense)
It helps me to pause and ground myself in the present.
When I woke up this morning, it felt like I was on the wrong end of a diverging timeline. There was some other version of reality where things made more sense and I had a clearer picture of where I needed to go. And it was nice to think about that for a while, but then it just made me sad to look around and see where I actually was and what had actually happened. And though I can keep thinking about what might come to pass and get anxious and feel even worse, truth is I ultimately I don't know. I have no way of knowing what's gonna happen, just like I have no way of knowing how the Kamalaverse I imagined would've actually worked either. I can keep thinking and getting anxious about every worst case scenario, and fall further into despair by comparing that to every best-case scenario I imagined, but it's not helping me at all.
Then I thought a lot more about what I should have done differently to have prevented this. Were there any lessons I could learn. And the honest answer is that there wasn't anything more I could have done. Unlike 2016, where I protest voted third party, this time I did what I thought was best, with no regrets. And even though I failed to convince a few people to vote, it wouldn't have made a difference even if I did. We're like raindrops falling into a river. A person can't change a nation, but people can, and enough raindrops working together can erode the riverbank little by little until the river changes its flow. It takes time, but it always happens.
(I'm halfway through my daily ration of grog so I'll ramble along with you)
I've been doing the right thing since 2000. I vote in every primary and general election. I donate to candidates. I did text banking for Bernie. I'm doing what everyone says you should do. Hell, in 2000 I swapped my swing-state Nader vote with someone in a solidly blue state because I knew how much it mattered.
But every election makes me feel like some kind of alien creature. People act more and more irrationally, arguing about more and more inane things. And nearly every time things get worse. I'm trying to be a good little raindrop but the rest of them are going in the opposite direction as hard as they can.
When do I get to stop doing something that feels like beating my head against a wall? It's been two and a half decades of this and every single time I feel like we get further away from what I'm working toward because everyone else is acting crazy. And every time I feel less and less like I'm even a member of the human species. They're all so alien to me.
Shit I typed out a whole thing and my app failed to post it so sorry this is all I got.
Just wanna say I'm sorry and I'm here for you. I don't know what else I can say right now, maybe I'll think of something better tomorrow, but just wanna say that I think you're a beautiful person and hope you continue to be a shining light in a world that's getting darker and darker. Hopefully this is just the darkness before a brighter dawn.
Fucking copied it to clipboard this time so this one better post dammit.
I appreciate the sentiment, friend.
Hey, I really like the sound of the eightfold path. Is there any Buddhist literature you would recommend? It might be really nice right now.
https://www.accesstoinsight.org/
I like Theravada because it is closest to simply the Buddha's teachings without a lot of other side stuff that is found in some of the sects. The thing that has helped me the most is learning to allow emotions to happen but not react to them by going off on a long chain of destructive thoughts, which trigger more bad emotions in an ongoing cycle.
Meditation helps you learn how your own mind works. The idea is just notice that the thought or feeling happened and go back to concentrating or observing (depending on the type of meditation you are doing). Eventually you notice them when they happen during normal activity and can just let go of them without reacting.
Hey. Europe is nice. You are welcome to come and live here :)
Also: Please don’t kill yourself. If you think about doing so, please talk to a professional. There are also plenty of friendly people available via free hotlines. The world is a better place with you in it. Don’t let them win :)
So you can be among those who help others survive. People need you. We need everyone we can get.
We could have some pizza and milkshakes and watch a cool 80s movie?
I would also like an answer to this question
I'm indigenous Canadian and my family have had to deal with worse. I've lived most of my life fighting all the time.
This isn't the end, it's only another road block we have to get around. I've had to face down many local, regional and national elections where idiots were elected that campaigned on indigenous hate so none of this is new to me. I may not be American but seeing your latest national election made me feel bad again because whatever you guys do affects us here too.
It sucks and I hate it but the only thing that makes me feel worse is giving up.
I'll live my life fighting, I really don't care
You should too.
Friend, def. not giving up. We're all neighbors. Indeed what happens south of that imaginary line affects people north of that imaginary line. And no one should be surprised that it is the case.
We lost by such an overwhelming degree. I don't know how to have hope anymore.
Then don't. Fighting for hope is overrated anyway. Fight because you're angry. Fight because of what they took from you. Fight because this isn't okay, no matter what anyone tells you. Fight because you don't want to let it ever happen again.
Just don't stop fighting. Don't give up.
they said fight, not hope
What is born each night and dies each dawn?
The day?
Hope
Don't do their work for them.
Sometimes, simply existing is the greatest act of rebellion. Let your life be an affront to them, every single day. Get up just to spite them.