We have two kinds: long and narrow fork and a short and wide fork. I always swap the narrow for the wide.
I also have a thing with the plates. I really don't like using the ones that don't have a design on them. There's just something off about using a blank plate.
Yeah but you can't. If it doesn't matter much to her anyways then find some you like and just donate the ones you don't. Shop around at thrift shops if you don't have much money. That's what I did, I fricking adore the set I found and I don't think I paid more than $20 for it.
To take it a step further, I can highly recommend having all your dishes be part of a single matching set. It's the little things that make you feel like an adult with your life in order, you know?