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I need to liven this place up a bit.
What would be the worst gift someone could give you?
Me: Tickets to a musical.
A Mariah Carey Christmas special DVD
Fuck. Imagine getting that for Kris kringle.
Upvote. Upvote. Upvote.
Lifetime supply of fanta
(I can't metabolise it, my stomach rejects it instantly. Along with anything I've eaten in the past 24 hours)
One Christmas an aunt gave me a ceramic oil burner cork with some wick through it. Just the cork and wick. No oil. No bottle. I was about ten. Straight to the op shop.
Today I guess an ex rocking up with the gift of a child.
More locally, hoppy hipster IPA beers. I like plain beer: aldi blonde, Heineken, corona, Carlton dry.
Sunscreen lol
Don't laugh dude, skin cancer among darker skinned people who think they're good is actually a real problem
I was highly unimpressed with being given a calculator and apron for the next school year. Also a 20+ year old hairdryer. A hot pink thong (hilarious 🙄). And a cheap bench mixer bought in a January sale so it had 2 weeks warranty
I did like the kitten
spoiler
Reasons I don't speak to the bitch 😺 each might sound small but it adds up.
Rollercoaster or theme park tickets
Bottle of Johnny Walker Red (or any JW bottle). Shit's barely fit for human consumption.
😂
I once got a pair of Donald Trump socks. Complete with a little turf of hair at the top. They were part of a "Shit Present" gag gifting thing, but they were the most awful and was so happy to swap it for a book of dad jokes.
🤮
They needed to be buried at cross road somewhere far far away.
Karaoke Machine
Yeah, useless these days especially when can project the lyrics on to the telly and hook your mic to a set of computer speakers like a fucking pro.
I got given a calendar with spelling mistakes in it once (Temu). Some other gifts:
- top with random anime on it that neither I nor the giver knew (her mother bought it)
- an avocado (I actually used this one)
- live laugh love Kim Jong Un banner (best gift ever)
- two chickens, which lead to my chicken eating hiatus. Dad gave them away after a year because mum said they shit too much.
- toilet paper with puzzles on it
- things to do while you poo book by "Hugh Jassburn"
things to do while you poo book by “Hugh Jassburn”
Push? Grunt? Consider more fibre in your diet?
I'll have to get the book out when I'm home and see what it says :D
Please do
excerpts
Ummm. I have this book at home. Someone gave it to the OH for Christmas last year. In fairness, he does spend an awful lot of time in the smallest room of the house!
Interesting.
This is my book. It tells the history of bathroom products.
I know having received them.
Gold class movie tickets and gift vouchers for David Jones/Myers.
Why are these the worst?
I don’t go out for movies and Myers and David jones don’t offer me much and are overpriced.
They gutted their electronic departments and have nothing for me.
Sitting on a David Jones voucher at the moment, all I can think of buying from there is coffee.
I try to go with booze for DJ's vouchers.
DJs sell booze?
Yeah but it’s not cheap.
Good towels
An expensive, gourmet coffee cake. I really hate coffee.
I was given such a cake at work many years ago and felt obliged to eat a piece to be polite. They meant so well. It was so revolting.
I'd step on people to get a gourmet coffee cake.
All you can eat tickets to a baked bean festival
I wouldn't mind that as long as there's toast to go with.
I'll swap you my bean festival tickets for your musical tickets and we'll both be happy!
Deal 🤝