If I had a nickel for every time someone says "this person's being a huge jerk to me but I think they might be neurodivergent"
If I had a nickel for every time someone says "this person's being a huge jerk to me but I think they might be neurodivergent"
Regular reminder that being an asshole is not a symptom of any form of neurodivergence. (You can replace “neurodivergent” with depressed, anxious, bipolar, etc. and the diagram works equally well)
ETA: social faux pas, awkwardness, and genuine symptoms of neurodivergence don’t make you an asshole. I shouldn’t have to say this? An “asshole” is someone who enacts a pattern of abusive, controlling, harassing, and/or harmful behavior with no remorse or concern for how other people are affected.
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When they ramble on about something you don't care about or actively don't want to discuss, say "Hey I don't like this conversation, can we talk about something else?"
Yellow: "Oh sorry, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable."
Red: "What? Why don't you wanna talk about this, is it because you secretly hate me or are hiding something? Now I know we need to talk about it until I'm convinced you're hearing what I have to say on this topic."When they ramble on about something you don't care about...
Or, hear me out, you could listen to them infodump because it will make them happy?
or, hear me out, listening to the ins and outs of a topic that at best holds no interest and at worst makes you uncomfortable is labor, that shit takes spoons.
nobody owes me free labor just because they idly wondered about hobbits and i decided to sperg on them about the deep history of middle-earth. i'd rather politely be cut short about my special interests than make someone feel burdened and quietly foster resentment about it.
in fact i actively tell people they're allowed to tell me to shut up if i ramble too long, because being on the spectrum does NOT entitle me to filibuster someone else's train of thought whenever the fancy strikes me.
When I realize I'm dominating a conversation I will try to give other people space to talk and also let them know they can tell me to shut up. I won't take it too personally.
Even if you let them know they can say shut up whenever, they likely won't. The best bet is to do the first option all the time, because even with permission, most people still wouldn't do it though they may want to.