Example: My messy apartment. Every time I did a thorough cleaning, usually due to pressure and last-minute high on adrenaline, such as a landlord inspection, I was SO sure: Fantastic, it's done now, and it will always be nice; I just have to change and do 20 minutes every day.

Well, you all know how that went. But I kept repeating it over and over, 20 years, 25 years.

What works is to admit that you are like that, but don't know entirely why.

What works is to make a small improvement. I can do one thing every day and check it off, as long as it is on a list.

What works is to get to the root of the problem, ADHD in this case, depression for others, and treat it. This is the big gun, it can be life-changing.

What works is even to hire a maid, to get a dishwasher, to a degree.

What does not work is to "decide" that things will be different now.

It's easier to see when it happens to others. I remember the post of somebody who considered himself lazy, but had all these ambitions. He wanted to get up tomorrow and become this "super-productive self". We all told him, one way or another: That is great, but instead of doing that tomorrow, check today if you can study uninterruptedly for 25 minutes. If that works out, do that for a week, and we'll talk again.

Does the other thing also exist, the epiphany where people change their life? One of my favourite quotes from Babylon-5: "You have the opportunity here and now to choose, to become something greater and nobler and more difficult than you have been before. The universe does not offer such chances often, G'Kar." Is it a lie?

Scene: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A9v1jJ_ATec

I have been working in the IT industry for the last 13 years and I was diagnosed with ADHD around two years back.

As part of my job, I have to look at a lot of code. It used to be that I used to write a lot of it, but recently since getting promoted, my work now revolves mostly around reviewing the code others wrote or sometimes enhancing someone else's code.

The problem comes when I come across some extremely convoluted legacy code. For example, like a function hierarchy with 10+ levels of function calls across several hundreds of lines. This causes me some problems understanding what's going on because it's nearly impossible for me to follow every branch to understand which part of the code needs fixing. After a while traversing the function calls I often forget how I got there and have to retrace my steps (I use debug breakpoints but it doesn't help much). I also tend to get distracted with ideas of how to re-implement the whole thing with best practices rather than focus and work on delivering the fix that I am expected to do. This severely hampers my turnaround time and I'm sure my supervisors are frustrated.

What baffles me, however, is that my other colleagues look like they have no problems working on this codebase. So I cannot really blame the badly written code before my supervisors.

So I just wanted to ask anyone here who has ADHD, works in IT/Software Engineering how do you cope with a situation like this? Also, does medication help here?

I used to be on Atomoxetine, but after experiencing a nasty anxiety attack, I stopped about a month ago. Not that I observed any major improvements while I was on it.

PS: Apologies if the context does not make sense to any of you non-IT folks. I can clarify if you ask.

5 months ago, I got diagnosed and on Elvanse.

At first, it was a life-changing magic pill. I made completely out-of-character impulse decisions like: Let's list & process all issues that can be fixed with a phonecall or email right now! After less than 60 minutes, 70 % of the weight from unfinished tasks was off my shoulders.

But more and more it became clear that I need my old crutches (lists, timers, methods, ...) and the meds. It's still pretty great, because when I make the decision to do one item from the list, I can do it without feeling like cutting into my own flesh. I just make the decision.

Lately, especially on meds, I'm pretty hard into doomscrolling. Reading on Reddit frontpage (still there) and commenting my stupid opinion / "insight" to a wild mix of posts.

Currently recovering from the flu, which didn't help, and a lot of urgent todos got stacked up, deadlines missed.

Of course I know what needs to be done, and I'm starting. Got a browser plugin to limit certain websites etc. It's slow.

I think I should try a therapist who is specialised in ADHD. Not so much to process trauma from a life living undiagnosed, but rather to help me get all that done, get to a sustainable level of productivity.

Dr. K. said something interesting in a recent video. People can't just make a conscious decision like "hey, I should stop being a slob and instead improve myself 2 hours straight per day!" or "I want to be someone who gets up early, eats a healthy breakfast, works out, has a completely different life!". It's a different part of the brain that executes this, and you can't just order it around.

Anyway, life changed for the better, a lot, but I want to pick up the pace.

I was diagnosed with adhd as a young child, and still very often forget stuff. My short term memory can be terrible and I often immediately lose a thought or forget an idea after just a couple of seconds.

However, I'm often able to recall an idea by going back to what I was doing, which is something I never hear other people with adhd talk about. Sometimes all it takes is going back to the visual that triggered the thought or reading back a couple of sentences. This usually doesn't take longer than ~10 seconds. Other times I have to retrace my thought process, which can occasionally take up to a minute... If it takes any longer, then the thought is likely to be lost forever and I always feel terrible when it happens. At times I randomly remember something days later, even though it had felt like the thought was truly lost forever.

Is this common among folks with adhd? I only ever hear people talking about forgetting, and never about remembering.

It took finding six different psychologists over the span of six years, and countless sessions where I tried to explain how sudden my decision can be, how I always get distracted, how eccentric that makes me and how flappy my whole life is and has been, and all the underlying issues, until I finally met one who understood me and had expertise in the field.

Tomorrow, I will starting with a dose 18 mg of Concerta.

It really sucks it has to be this way. This really is true.

I now feel like I can put down my heavy armor, my sword and my shield.

> Disclaimer: I'm referring the the US medical system, but I imagine people in other countries may encounter similar things.

I cannot be the only one who has had this experience, but all my dealings with the medical industry feel like they were refined by a group of psychologists to exploit the weaknesses of those with ADHD.

The volume of calls, appointments, and paperwork I had to full out to get a diagnosis and prescription for treatment is completely unreasonable to expect someone with poor working memory and attention issues to navigate.

Then, to stay on medication, you need to schedule and make appointments with a psychiatrist every month, for the rest of your life, and if you miss a single one, you will run out of meds (and likely charged a fine), which will make it even harder to remember to make the next one. If you miss too many, that psychiatrist will refuse to see you again and you have to go back to your PCP to get a new referral.

Look, I understand that their time is valuable, but this system couldn't be designed any other way to be more accommodating to people who clinically forget things?!

It's like designing a wheelchair ramp that's actually just stairs that are 3x as steep as the regular stairs. Also, if you fall to the bottom, someone takes your wheelchair until you can climb back up.

So yesterday my friend told me she suspect she may have ADHD, quite out of nowhere. I've known her for almost 20 years at this point (me, man, she, woman, both 34 yo), and I was very surprised by this. She's been struggling for the past 4 years with irregular jobs and general lack of activity, and she's been under psychiatric and psychological treatment for at least 2 years now. None of the professionals that have seen her have suggested she may have this condition before, although she does claim they were not "good" professionals.

So apparently she started seeing lots of shorts on TikTok that highlight common symptoms and she felt strongly identified with them. For the past two months she's been trying to get a diagnostic, but while her psychiatrist made her take some tests, they never replied back with an assesment, nor did they find her a more specialized colleague. (I understand not all mental health professionals conduct these kind of diagnostics).

I... Think I was ableist towards her. I suggested the shorts were extremely vague and that if she is being completely honest with her doctor and they didnt brought the possibility themselves, then she shouldn't worry. She didn't like this, and the conversation ended somewhat abruptly.

So of course she is still trying to see a specialized professional, and hopefuly that will solve her doubts. But still I wanted to ask the community, how could I be supportive towards her? I wouldn't like her to get mad at me and lose the trust we have, by which she confided this in me in the first place. Also, what is your opinion on the depictions of ADHD on the internet? Was I too disregardful by suggesting TikTok shorts shouldn't guide her?

I realized too late that I hurt her, and I want to be better in the future. I have no background whatsoever in health science.

I'm completely inept at organizing changes in my life, which means I waste a many weeks being 'stuck' when I could be out living/working somewhere interesting/etc. I was watching Top Gear the other day and I realized that what I really need is to have 'producers' like they do on the show who take care of the logistics of things so that the protagonist can just sail through. I realize that this doesn't come for free so I would be willing to join a group where one such plan is made for the whole group, or switch to a job where having someone plan your life (at least the working part) is a requirement of the job. In other words, I am willing to trade some of my sovereignty/independence for this. Any recommendations? (Just for context, I am not in the US and I'm not old.)

cross-posted from: https://lemm.ee/post/57496849

I have experienced that if skip even one day after 8 hour of physical labor streak my energy levels suddenly go to the bottom and I start to feel super bad. It’s quite strange because I do not think I could not be depressed if I had a sedentary job. Sedentary things just destroy me. Also I like and wanted job in programming/cs so yeah. Gotta career switch or something apparently because cardio in the evening isn’t enough, I am like golden retriever. Only truly satisfied when all my muscles ache at the end of the day. And also I need immediate results out of my work

Do you feel your can be open about it with a potential employer?

My funny side of ADHD is when I always place things at the right place, but I also forget about it

Like, I always go "wow, this is such a logical place for them how could I forget about it". I wonder if there's anyone with similar thing haha

@adhd

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/26305163

> This conversation could have been a discord DM

Hi folks. I think my 16yo son has ADHD. He shows a lot of the classic behaviours. (Not listed for brevity)

He’s smart, performs well in class, but struggles badly with exams, detail. He is also struggling with revision. He’s been a high performing up until now but he’s hit hit the limit of his abilities.

His exams are 2 months away, we won’t get a diagnosis in time 😔

Can anyone here suggest resources or personal insights that could help me help him through this period?

Thanks!

This post is an explanation of how my personal motivation works, and I am curious how others here relate to it, and if it is a common thing with ADHD.

For starters, I have inattentive-type ADHD, have been diagnosed and on various medications for ~5 years, and am roughly college age for context. I am very highly motivated by other people, basically anything where people are depending on my for something, or will directly help/harm someone depending on my actions. Of course I still have executive dysfunction struggles regardless, but that external motivation helps immensely.

In school this manifested as struggling a lot with homework (often not doing it), but doing very well in-class and with group projects. In my limited work and internship experiences, somewhat predicably, I have done very well as directly working hands-on with coworkers highly motivates me. Unfortunately, personal life progression things like actually getting a job and finding and applying for further education is the exact opposite, and is a struggle. There are of course plenty more examples, but I think that gives the gist of my experience.

[Cross posted from !adhd@lemmy.dbzer0.com cuz I forgor that was mainly a memes community]

...except that Sam & Frodo get all the way to Mount Doom and Frodo realizes he forgot the ring back at home in the Shire

Normal people can just DO this without medication? I can sit here and listen to music without feeling the need to be hyper-tensed and aware of everything around me? Why does my heartbeat feel calm? Why am I not on edge?

I was recently reading a book on sanitation conditions in Stalinist Russia, and it made me think about how many 'normal' things I take for granted in my day-to-day life that simply were not the norm for the majority of human history. I guess this is the reverse - something which other people take for granted, but I've only just received, and it's like the Holy Grail in my hands.

I have been in the same job (with a promotion so very slightly different) for almost 5 years now. This has definitely been my longest job, by at least 2.5 years 😅 but I have found that the nature of the role is really one of those things where days don’t tend to be the same and all that jazz, but recently I have found myself getting that itchy feet feeling.

At the same time, the job is getting busier and deadlines have been coming faster with more last minute change than there had been previously.

I am definitely on the edge of burnout or maybe I’m in “functional burnout” or whatever that is… anyone else find that boredom or feeling like you need to move onto the next thing contributes to burnout?

Also I started meds back in November so not sure if that is contributing. I have been insanely productive since starting meds but I feel like every day is a hyperfocus day now and I am not sure if that is making things worse.

And if anyone is curious I am a finance business partner working with a sales leadership team, it’s quite interesting really but I am definitely in need of moving onto something else.

People keep telling me I am driven but I don’t think it is that so much as a constant need for stimulation/novelty that drives me forward. Somehow I have made myself important in my organisation and now I have regrets 🤣🤣

So I got into organic farming. I bought an expensive earth cutter and actually got to rent a farming plot - about 100 m2. All that was last year. I still have that farming plot but to keep it, I have to keep paying for it as well as actually be there and care for crops. I still want to do it but I just can't bring myself to do it? And WTF do I do with the earth cutter? I live in a flat in the city ROFL

I also recently got into game development. I actually dove right into the basics and actually began writing code and functions that work for game prototypes. As in not only did I first follow tutorials, but I made my own shit by just looking up documentation. I still want to do it, but... IDK, I just need a hook to go back but I just won't? And it saddens me, I really want to continue on some ideas I have but its too much.

GAAAH.

And I have a carpenter's work bench coming soon and all these projects I want to do. But WTF will I do.

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.dbzer0.com/post/38445203

I just launched a website for us all. The reason I created it is because good quality and relevant websites FOR us are hard to find. I mean, there are organization-owned websites that push political agendas, but ugh. I felt like there is a need for this.

I’m also looking for contributors! I want this website to have voices from all over the world. This is not my blog, I want it to be a valuable resource.

Please feel free to check it out, and give feedback on how it can be improved.

The link: https://www.thedigitalaspie.com/

The “aspie” part of the website name was chosen because it sounds less clinical or rather more casual/friendly. Please know that no offense is meant.

Basically the title.

Brief background information

After having tried all sorts of Elvanse (lisdexamfetamine) dosages (30, 50 and 70 mg) and noticing nothing at all, I've got prescribed with Medikinet 20 mg (Methylphenidate).

The thing

I don't think I can properly articulate the experience in English, but I'm going to try anyway.

I noticed that, shortly after taking them, I start to feel as if I was on the verge of having a panic attack (maybe that's a bit dramatic, IDK if I experienced one of those ever anyway). I become incredibly stressed, but for not apparent reason. Not only that, but I could not rationalize the source of my stress/discomfort.

It is an excruciating feeling. Thankfully, it does not last more than a couple of hours. Also, while going through it, I feel tired, exhausted even.

It is weird, very weird.

Trying to relax is futile, the same goes for breathing exercises, distractions etc…

Does anything here make any sense to you?

P.D: Thanks for reading this incomprehensible wall of text, I am currently in this shity state.

Just wondering if anyone else has experienced something similar. I'm a 30yo M and I didn't really speak English properly until I was about 14 years old. By that time, teachers just assumed I'm an asshole or being intentionally difficult. When I was younger, teachers told my parents I was likely ADHD and that they should take me to a healthcare processional, but being Hispanic in the early 2000s, to my parents, that was akin to calling me mentally disabled, so they just told me there was nothing wrong with me and that I just needed to apply myself.

I've went to primary care doctors over the last few years and described my symptoms, high peaks and long valleys when it comes to my mood and energy and my inability to focus. Unfortunately, I think I've been masking for so long that everyone I talk to about this assumes I'm depressed. Even took some depression meds for a while, gave it an honest try and couldn't stand the side effects.

Not sure if I should just resign myself to this reality. I've failed upwards enough through enough very painful trial and error to land myself a solid career, but my energy and motivation is getting really hard to manage, despite the fact that I'm doing everything I can to live a healthy lifestyle(exercise daily, good sleep, etc)

File this under "small wins". I had been banging my head against a technical problem for most of the day yesterday. As I slipped into bed around midnight, I suddenly knew the solution. Despite the call of the pillows, I dragged myself out of bed, down to the laptop and took a full 30 seconds to write it down -- and thank goodness, because by this morning I had forgotten about it again!

Firstly just a quick thank you as the only reason I went through ADHD diagnosis was because people here were convinced I was trolling, or had undiagnosed ADHD when I was quite being dismissive of ADHD behaviour and arguing certain traits were just normal for everyone and people saying they had ADHD were just attention grabbing. Well I had to eat shit on that one as I actually did have ADHD and didn't know it.

So, the actual question I have is do you have lots of 'end it all' thoughts? Not in an emotional way, but like digesting news from around the world and seeing logically we are fucked so may as well just quit? Also I'm on 100mg sertraline but have ADHD treatment consultation tomorrow so has anyone been ok mixing antidepressants with ADHD stims?

I've been experimenting with modafinil and armodafinil for my adhd, and this morning I took the largest dose of armodafinil yet (250mg). I took it at 10am, and went back to sleep with an alarm set for 11am, and just woke up at 2:30pm.

ADHD is fun

I've been taking dexmethyl extended release for a bit with no problems. Works great. We decided to tray a higher dose. To do so, we needed pills with smaller doses rather than one huge one. That caused me to change pharmacies due to availability. Same medication, different pharmacy.

1st day

• Same dose as before, just in several smaller dosed pills.
• A bit tired in the afternoon. I stay in my room. I get take out.

2nd day

• 10 mg more than regular
• I drive out to town. On the way back, I feel like I couldn't care about anything. I had to repeat to myself in my head what I wanted to say for like a min before saying it. I stop at Costco and everyone felt like floating entities in a universe-sea that I was swim-walking through. It was like I was playing a very realistic 1st-person Grand Theft Auto, except I'm not a psychopathic car thief and serial killer; instead, I ate a slice of pizza and got some Ensures. Coming back home, I stop to get a coffee to help with the drive home. I was alert and aware, just distracted. I stay in my room the rest of the day. Don't feel like cooking, so I get take out.

3rd day

• 10 mg more than regular
• I don't do anything productive. I tried to watch TV around noon, but couldn't pay attention. I remember thinking, "That guy is saying something. I wonder if it's important." I am freezing all day. I take 2-3 hot showers just to warm up. I came to ask a question on Lemmy and completely forgot what it was. I ended up playing Age of Empires 2 for like 6 hours and lost all but one match. The one I didn't lose was cause my team won it. I literally only contributed 2 trebuchets.

4th day (today)

• 20 mg more than regular
• 45 mins after taking, I am straight up hallucinating. The walls start becoming even more 3d (lol); there are layers now. The patterns I just saw somewhere else in the room are transposed on top of what I am currently looking at. The colors fluctuate in intensity from colorful to black & white. Everything feels far away. My senses don't feel connected. Visuals and audio were two separate worlds independent of each other. I could hear silence. Silence has a sound, y'all! Doing something like showering seemed like a mission, so I didn't do it. I am freezing cold, wearing an undershirt, a long-sleeve shirt, two hoodies, long johns, sweat pants, and socks...all indoors and it's like 65°F in here.
• Luckily, I was scheduled to meet with the doctor. He took notes, and asked if the bottle lists the manufacturer. I looked at the bottle twice as best as I could and respond that it doesn't. He asks me to show him the bottle and he spots it in a second. He said it's likely the generic manufacturer. He told me to keep track of generics that I have adverse events with and to notify the pharmacy so they don't give it to me again. I'm going back to the previous dose, pharmacy, and manufacturer.

Edit: I'm gonna have to make edits as I notice typos

Relevant video: https://youtu.be/VDqsHl3lBlA

So I made my own alpha smart with a Raspberry Pi 400. For focused writing when my ADHD is going wild, also when I need to remove any distractions to get things done. features:

• Word Processor
• Dictionary search tool
• basic Network Connectivity for file transferring
• Web based file browser for transferring documents

I want to get some feed back and suggestions on improvements. also anyone think this could be a good product. maybe with a E-Ink screen and a mechanical keyboard.

Links: https://blog.ascosilinux.com/the-pi-writer-400 https://git.ascosilinux.com/batvin321/CLI-typewriter-app/releases/tag/0.1

Hey everyone. Lately, I've been trying to learn more about ADHD (I was diagnosed with the inattentive type as an adult), and there are a few aspects that confuse me, so I'd like to know if there are others out there in a similar situation who might be able to guide me a bit. Unlike what I've read about people with ADHD, my train of thought isn't chaotic, with one thought overlapping another or constantly jumping between ideas. In fact, I often find myself not thinking anything at all, with total calm in my head. This happens both in relaxed situations (which isn't a bad thing) and in moments when I need to focus, like during work meetings, where I'll suddenly realize I've been zoned out for the last few minutes (not thinking at all) and completely lost track. On top of this, combined with the "if it's not now, it doesn't exist" mindset, my emotional world feels... "stable." Stable because neither the future nor the past is "now," so those emotions just fade away. All of this has left me feeling like my life is somehow out of my control. I feel like a little twig floating down a river, content to end up wherever the current takes me, unable to steer toward where / actually want to go. It's pretty disheartening, honestly. I'd love to know if there are others out there who feel this way -people living in a sort of emotional and mental void that only kicks into gear when alarms start blaring

Hey all.

I just waited nearly 3 weeks for my (generic) Vyvanse refill.

How much longer is this "supply chain" problem going to go on for? It's been like a year already, hasn't it? Wasn't the whole thing about manufacturers claiming they'd "exceeded their quota"?

Or is it going to get worse with RFK just wanting to send half of us to concentration camps organic lettuce farms in Kansas?

From Psych2Go

___ Have you used any of these tactics before? If so, were they helpful?

My 28-hours circadian cycle jacks me up. I am dragging ass in the morning. I will get up at 5:30 with the Sun and not do anything beside doom scroll for hours. I might get up to brush my teeth around 9:00, maybe start living the day around 11:00. This is with meds. I'm trying to start a morning routine that gets me going. The basic tasks are:

1. Have something planned to look forward to
2. Wake up same time everyday with curtains open for light
3. Make the bed
4. Brush teeth
5. Morning check in with a friend
6. Positive/enjoyable morning activities

It is at #6 where I could use some help because everything besides laying down in quiet with headphones on and looking at pointless superficial stuff on the internet seems like it is too much effort. Food is repulsive in the morning, so no breakfast. I also need to be near a restroom for the first few hours in the mornings. Any recommendations?

I noticed a few months ago that while I don’t like taking my meds when I don’t have anything to do, I feel the desire to take my meds before going to do things with my family members. It feels like I’m less anxious and frustrated with them when I’m medicated.

I looked into it and it looks like Adderall might weakly act like an SSRI, so it might be kind of like microdosing anxiety meds.

Well, yesterday, for an unrelated reason, I decided to take an extra dose of my meds.

WARNING: DONT DO SOMETHING LIKE THIS UNLESS YOUVE TALKED TO A MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL.

Don’t worry I did let my psychiatrist know before hand. This experiment was meant to just make the focus effects last the whole day by starting earlier with my other doeses and then taking two extra half doses spread out in the early evening.

Fun fact, 40mg is the max recommended dose and I ended up taking 45mg. I don’t intend to take that much ever again. It wasn’t horrible but it did feel like I passed the point of it helping me focus.

After taking the first extra half I felt my heart rate go up and I got a slight tension headache, but I felt okay enough to take the other half. I expected it to make me more tense or more jittery, but at what I assume was the peak, I felt the opposite. For the entire peak and rest of the evening, I felt just incredibly calm.

My heart rate was even lower than it typically is on meds (though still high). But the weirdest part was that I just felt calm. My muscles didn’t even feel that tense. I was not able to focus all that well, (which means 45mg is too much Adderall lol) but I was fine with that.

I didn’t feel any high or happiness, honestly I felt bored but I was just like fine with that. I didn’t feel the urge to listen to music or watch something but I also could listen to music or watch something without feeling annoyed like I do when I want some stimulation but nothing is the right stimulation.

I even scrolled on lemmy for a bit but saw it was all more trump and Elon bullshit and instead of doomscrolling compulsively I just put my phone down. I mean it was literally like Nirvana. I had no desires or happiness but honestly I was just fine with that.

Anyway, my best guess is that I took enough adderall that it started acting like anxiety meds. I do have generalized anxiety which I haven’t gotten medicated for because I still have some irrational desire to not take meds, but that’s not the topic of this post. What I want to know is do any of you feel similar calming effects from your meds?

It really seems counterintuitive for stimulants to make you less anxious. And hey Methylphenidate made me wayy more anxious than adderall. Oh, also I don’t feel any high from adderall, (especially at that dose I took last night since I got a slightly annoying stress headache). I don’t feel withdrawal either even when I take a break after a long period of constantly being on my meds. Hell I still have to force myself to take my meds every day, so I guess it’s just not giving any sort of reward to trigger habit formation. Anyway, I say all this because I’m wondering if not getting adrenaline or pleasure from the adderall is correlated with being able to notice a calming effect from it. Anyone feel like their experience supports/weakens that hypothesis?

Turning the tap on that nice bed-like environment is a real dopamine hurdle. And I keep getting lost in my thoughts. Bathrooms are practically stimulation-less spaces.

I started taking stimulants a month ago for ADHD, and wow. I mean, some of the effects were expected - the increased alertness, the focus, the slight uptick in motivation (I haven't experienced the full 'GO GO TAKE CARE OF NORMAL THINGS' burst that some friends and online folk have had, but I've had a little motivation boost, and I'm grateful for every little bit).

But the counterintuitive effects? That I sleep easier and better now than I have in years? That my temper is much reduced because it doesn't bang at my head like a jackhammer? That I can sit down and relax, because my focus isn't darting to every little distraction? That I can listen to people talk without wanting to bash my head in because listening is idleness and idleness drove me crazy? The exact opposite of things that I would have expected from taking a stimulant, before I learned that I had ADHD and got put on them?

The human mind is whack

Medicine is fucking witchcraft