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Shitty Million Dollar Ideas
- Dig a tunnel underneath the US to Peru and steal all the goldphys.org Illegal gold mining eats into Peruvian Amazon
On the banks of the Madre de Dios river, dredges work day and night in search of gold, part of a scourge of illegal mining that is slowly devouring the Peruvian Amazon.
- Build a tech bro AI based school jersey to see if people took their pills. Profit.www.eurekalert.org An AI-powered wearable system tracks the 3D movement of smart pills in the gut
Scientists at the University of Southern California have developed an artificial intelligence (AI)-powered system to track tiny devices that monitor markers of disease in the gut. Devices using the novel system may help at-risk individuals monitor their gastrointestinal (GI) tract health at home, wi...
An AI-powered wearable system tracks the 3D movement of smart pills in the gut
- New business plan-break into the museum, steal the T-Rex, add colored lights and Trumps voice using AI, and make doom predictions with it until the ransom is paid.phys.org Three boys found a T. rex fossil in North Dakota. Now a Denver museum works to fully reveal it
Two young brothers and their cousin were wandering through a fossil-rich stretch of the North Dakota badlands when they made a discovery that left them "completely speechless": a T. rex bone poking out of the ground.
cross-posted from: https://lemm.ee/post/33835948
> New business plan-break into the museum, steal the T-rex, add colored lights and Trumps voice using AI, and make doom predictions with it until the ransom is paid. > cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/16184904 > > > Based on the size of the tibia, experts estimate the dino was 13 to 15 years old when it died and likely weighed around 3,500 pounds (1,587.57 kilograms)—about two-thirds of the size of a full-grown adult. > > > > Ultimately, a Black Hawk helicopter airlifted the plaster-clad mass to a waiting truck to drive it to the Denver museum. > > > > Lyson said more than 100 individual T. rex fossils have been unearthed, but many are fragmentary. It is unclear yet how complete this fossil is. So far, they know they have found a leg, hip, pelvis, a couple of tailbones and a good chunk of the skull. > > > > The public will get to watch crews chip away the rock, which the museum estimates will take about a year.
- Hack stock exchange, put all stocks at 99% discount, then profit.gizmodo.com Glitch at New York Stock Exchange Throws Markets Into Chaos
Financial markets experienced the second technical glitch in less than a week on Monday morning. Premium stocks displayed prices at a 99 percent discount.
- Get millions from the government earmarked for the poor, then spend it all fast and bribe the jurors.apnews.com Fraud trial juror reports getting bag of $120,000 and promise of more if she'll acquit
A juror was dismissed from a multimillion-dollar fraud trial on Monday after reporting that a woman dropped a bag of $120,000 cash at her home over the weekend.
I believe this is our best option.
cross-posted from: https://lemmy.ca/post/22546942
> A juror was dismissed Monday after reporting that a woman dropped a bag of $120,000 in cash at her home and offered her more money if she would vote to acquit seven people charged with stealing more than $40 million from a program meant to feed children during the pandemic. > > “This is completely beyond the pale,” Assistant U.S. Attorney Joseph Thompson said in court on Monday. “This is outrageous behavior. This is stuff that happens in mob movies.” > > These seven are the first of 70 defendants expected to go to trial in a conspiracy that cost taxpayers $250 million. Eighteen others have pleaded guilty, and authorities said they recovered about $50 million in one of the nation’s largest pandemic-related fraud cases. Prosecutors say just a fraction of the money went to feed low-income kids, while the rest was spent on luxury cars, jewelry, travel and property. > > During the trial that began in April, defense attorneys questioned the quality of the FBI’s investigation and suggested that this might be more of a case of record-keeping problems than fraud as these defendants sought to keep up with rapidly changing rules for the food aid program.
- Service that exchanges your head with a celebrities head, powered by blockchain freedom points.www.hindustantimes.com World's first head transplant with robotic surgeons? Startup claims 'revolutionary' procedure
The “world's first head transplant” was created by US startup BrainBridge. Many people were stunned by this procedure.
cross-posted from: https://feddit.uk/post/12444579
> > BrainBridge, a neuroscience and biomedical engineering startup from the US, has claimed that they are developing the world's first head transplant system. According to their website, it is "a groundbreaking device that will represent a landmark achievement in the fields of neuroscience, human engineering, and artificial intelligence." > > > > A video showing how BrainBridge will be doing the head transplant with the help of robots was shared on social media, and it has gone viral. The animated video shows two surgical robots operating on two bodies at the same time. From one body, they remove the head and places it on the other body. The animation further shows how the robots would work on the body if this technology becomes a reality. > > > > As per BrainBridge, this system is a "revolutionary concept for head transplant system, employing cutting-edge robotics and artificial intelligence to ensure successful head and face transplantation procedures with improved outcomes and faster recoveries."
- Sell some Pheromone producing AI washing machines that work for tech bros on the blockchain.
cross-posted from: https://lemmit.online/post/3010934
> ##### This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot. > The original was posted on /r/funny by /u/theunfortunatename on 2024-05-25 23:35:12+00:00. >
- Make and AI for tech bros that automatically replaces crypto with AI in all their their powerpoints. Use the AI in your own powerpoint to blitzcale and take over the market.
Make and AI for tech bros that automatically replaces crypto with AI in all their their powerpoints. Use the AI in your own powerpoint to blitzcale and take over the market. Then make the AI powerpoint itself to raise money, thus outsmarting the competition.
- Bog Scissors: Long handled scissors to be kept in the bog to be used for cutting extra long poops so they'll actually flush.
Bog Scissors: Long handled scissors to be kept in the bog to be used for cutting extra long poops so they'll actually flush.
- Crypto bro AI advisors for AI service but its paywalled.
Crypto bro AI advisors for AI service but its paywalled.
- 1mil annual fee Exclusive access website but theres only one password
1mil annual fee Exclusive access website but theres only one password
- Khan Academy variant called 4khan
cross-posted from: https://lemmy.ca/post/20106491
> Someone should make a variant of Khan Academy with the same content (which is under Creative Commons) but no non-libre software, call it 4khan, and list the "4 essential khans" (you khan run the program as you wish for any purpose, etc.) on the homepage
- Wiping spray. An aerosol or pump bottle behind the toilet of butt-friendly cleansing liquid to be spritzed on toilet paper for tough jobs or the "finishing touch."
Literally a shitty million dollar idea.
Edit: Cue the bidet users storm.
- The Stickinator: A repurposed disinfecting gun full of Kool Aid with an Easy Bake Oven lightbulb
Need something uncomfortably sticky in a hurry? Try the stickinator.
The plan is to replace the disinfectant with Kool Aid and the UV light with an Easy Bake Oven bulb. With people being less cautious of COVID 19 these devices are probably getting cheaper and what modern consumer doesn't love brand crossovers?
- Sample gut flora of people with "auto-brewery syndrome", culture the samples, and sell them in pill form to DUI lawyers for their clients.
This is a shitty idea because anyone driving under the influence deserves to be tried and punished for their actions. But if this could be done, you'd have no trouble selling each pill for $1000.
Or, sell the pills for way less to those that want to get drunk off bread or pasta. Either way it's a totally plausible, feasible, potentially lucrative shitty idea.
- Planet Fitness brand Lunk Alarms for bathrooms
YouTube Video
Click to view this content.
Some people at work were kicking up toilet seat lids and angering the people doing work on the other side of the wall. It made me think about the Lunk Alarm but then I realised it would probably go off if someone took a loud shit.
I've attached a link to what the Lunk Alarm sounds like for those that don't know. It's pretty close to an air raid siren that's triggered by noise.
- A Demon Core edition of the ball in a cup toy
I found the image on Reddit while looking for demon core memes but because of Reddit's VPN block I can't give proper credit.
Wikipedia pages for those that don't know:
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Bonus Plainly Difficult video for those who want to learn more about the Demon Core incident. It's about 10 minutes long.
- Combine targeted ad shirts with the "I dont agree with Facebook's new update" copypasta
Both seem in vogue with boomers. So why not get the best of both and be the talk of the BBQ?
Maybe the text could be altered to include reference to wearing the shirt versus copying and pasting text.
- Alternatives to I ♥ NY shirts
The I ♥ NY shirt is so incredibly popular you don't even need to travel to New York to get it and it's been ripped off around the world.
But what about people that don't ♥ New York?
It's an untapped market. The attached image is an early draft. What does it mean to tolerate New York? I don't know.
Another version could say I Am Indifferent Towards New York.
- Gamer RGB piss jugs
What are gamers known for? Racism and urinating in bottles.
We take advantage of the untapped market of the latter and add RGB to milk jugs and charge 40x the price.
- Pizza Fight: a pizza restaraunt where a majority of the toppings are on one slice of pizza
Why fight for the last slice of pizza when you can fight for the first?
Imagine one slice of pizza with 50% of the chicken. Could be a fun way to spice up office birthday parties.
- Balls of udon noodles dyed pink to look like brains for Halloween
Could be the eggnog of Halloween
- Timeshares but for dogs
Can't own a dog because home ownership has become a retirement goal in today's economy?
Get the experience by owning a dog (with several other people) and see it once a year.
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Worth noting some animal shelters allow volunteers to walk dogs if you are into a less late stage capitalism version of this.
- An Amazing Race themed airport
Flights can come and go as they please so everyone gets to experience the thrill of running through an airport.
There would be no departing/arriving flight screens. That spoils the surprise. Connecting flights only.
- A door-to-door sales company that sells "No Soliciting" signs
Came up with this during the two days I mistakenly tried to start a new career.
- A home automation device triggered by sneezes that says "bless you and "gesundheit"
Kind of like a Google Home or Amazon Echo but instead of being triggered by something like "Hey Google" or "Alexa" it's triggered by sneezes. It's whole purpose would be to say things like "bless you" or whatever the regional response is to a sneeze
Of course it would have to be connected to the internet so that we can sell sneeze analytics to Amazon for targeted advertising.
- Pet Rock: Internet Edition
A wifi-enabled pet rock with a subsurface LED display (so it looks like a normal Pet Rock when it's not on). It behaves as a smart bulb / display with programmable color, brightness, and animation that can be triggered by webhooks or services like IFTTT.
- Cold dogs: Icecream in an edible sleave on a bun
Marketing campaign involves targetting usaians insecure about a lack of nationalism in their desert choices. Claim icecream sandwiches are effete and European while hot dogs symbolise freedom and the rags to riches stuff.
- Thumbpass: a compass but for your thumb
Perfect for those times when you really want to know what direction is North
- The sound amplifying bed. A must have for the holidays.
It's a mattress and bedframe combination that makes every movement significantly louder. Bolts are loosened and the sound of the springs binding is incredibly apparent.
After all who doesn't want to feel uncomfortable around the holidays when family members stay in your guest room?
Find out who the chronic masturbators are and if you can expect a nephew in the new year.
- This sub reminds me of an ad I saw in a magazine sometime in the late 80's/ early 90's
>"How to get thousands of people to send you money with little to no effort. Send $5 and a self addressed stamped envelope to..."
I've always wondered how many people fell for that.
- The "I'm not dead" button: An alarm clock that automatically calls emergency services if it's not stopped within a certain number of hours.
This isn't really meant to save anyone's life. But it would let someone know to come pick up your corpse before it melts into the carpet and your cat starves.
- A tiny roomba for the inside of your toilet
Imagine a hockey puck sized Roomba that docks at the top of the bowl, off to one side, that slides to the bottom after every flush and then scrubs it's way back up to the dock.