cross-posted from: https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/post/28783084

> How trying to define ourselves or others define us by assigned sex at birth doesn't serve us and is generally oppressive and incorrect, both scientifically and socially.

Is it legal in the US to get mail delivered to your chosen name when you haven't changed it legally?

Ever since I was around 16, I started to feel different. I had this urge to become really buff and more of a tomboy. While this itself doesn't indicate me being trans, and I was very much a woman, I then started to feel like I wanted to take testosterone at the end of age 16/beginning of age 17. However, I was still a minor and my parents would have thought (and I thought right that they would say this) that it would mess me up forever, even if I'd still be their kid.

Lately, I created a persona, a sort of manifestation of my thoughts: a persona named Oliver. He's how I express my urges and feelings. My feelings to be a buff prince or some sort of gentleman. I know I for sure want to take testosterone.

when i was around 7 or 8, i was convinced i was actually born a boy and my family was lying to me. i wanted short hair too. i didn’t like to wear dresses or stereotypically girly stuff and i wanted to wear men’s clothes. i wanted to hang out with the other boys and it always seemed like the “boy world” was more my thing at that age than the girl world i was expected to enter.

content warning: transphobia

i don't get why there will be some people will be like "i don't care what trans people do, it doesn't hurt me" but then constantly make fun of them, bully them, make memes about them, and talk about how trans women are men (since i see it with trans women especially). seriously, as a transmasc enby, you don't have to accept ME specifically but i won't talk to you. even though you should accept people, if you don't, at least try to be nice and don't make memes about them and bully them and call them delusional. i feel like i can feel their hateful personalities through the screen, ugh. be polite and show respect.

if i'm expressing myself, for example, why do you have to bring me down? i'm NOT hurting you. and why does it matter their assigned gender at birth? all that matters is how they identify now. respect should not have to be earned (though i believe it can be lost through people who intentionally hurt others, etc.). all people have irreplaceable value and deserve respect.

sometimes i feel like my mannerisms are too girly/unpassable even though im a guy (a trans one or under the umbrella like the community im posting in), like i know it doesn't mean anything, but someone told someone they wouldn't pass as male if they used emojis like 😭 or ☺️ even though my bf uses them all the time. idk, i know im a guy and there's nothing wrong with femininity, but still, this is a lil rant i guess

i always try to affirm other people’s gender and accept all people. however, this one person who harassed me, i blocked and can’t ask them directly. they used to be known as a girl named emma but they then said they were a guy with he/him pronouns named ethan. however, they then said that they were a troll and that they weren’t really a boy, even though they changed their snapchat avatar to a boy according to my fiancé who saw their profile and blocked them subsequently.

i’m using they for now but i will call them ethan whenever referring to them because that’s what their display name stated.

i’m still learning btw, don’t be rude pls 😓

Maybe some sort of hero who can save his princess (my gf) from danger? Hmm...

When I was 8 years old (I also have autism), I was different from the other girls. Not just because of my autism, but because I didn’t want to be like a girl. I was convinced that secretly, I had male parts. I could be like the strong, tough boys I saw. I didn’t want to be feminine and “put on makeup like a girl”.

I got my hair cut short and I was so happy. I looked like a boy. I would enjoy feminine stuff, like playing with dolls and wearing dresses, but I wanted to be like I thought my dad was: a tough, strong guy.

When I was 10 or 11, the feeling happened again. I wanted to be like my favorite make characters. A cool rockstar. I wanted to use he/him pronouns. My girlfriend at the time didn’t like that, but we broke up and we were both immature and toxic to each other at that age.

I didn’t mind wearing a binder, which I did when I was 12 with my dress. I forgot why.

I was trans as a teenager until I detransitioned one day because my girlfriend at the time was mean to me for it, along with this guy I was friends with.

At age 15-16, I started to use he/they pronouns, and started to identify as a bi, then straight nonbinary transmasc.

Starting when I was 17, I was more of a nonbinary fem type.

Now, I’m probably nonbinary but I’ve been identifying as a woman because it’s what most people see me as, but I’m questioning.

Am I feminine? Am I a woman? I showed signs of wanting to be a boy, am I transmasc? I know many trans people wanted to be the opposite gender as a kid.

right now, i feel more transmasc and like a guy with he/him pronouns named viktor. can you try it out on me so i can “taste” it? thanks!!!

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/post/27212381

> We created a new community for all Trans and Queer people to ask and answer more personal and intimate questions! Hope this helps! > > !tquad@lemmy.blahaj.zone

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/post/27207610 > Is there a community here that's more appropriate for trans/queer folks to ask and answer more personal and intimate questions? If not would y'all like one created?

i know everyone knows it’s pride month but i like celebrating it as a transmasc enby :) 🏳️‍⚧️

Be sure to hit ‘Continue thread’ each time when you get to it, it continues further than Bluesky loads! I found the whole thing very thoughtful and knowledgeable.

Ralph was a mixed race guy who was living as a husband to a woman named Mamie in 1906, but eventually took a liking to a gal named Dorothy and decided to get proper married. Wisconsin had a eugenics test (eugenics was hella popular in the US - that’s where the Nazis learned it from) you had to take before you got married.

Ralph passed the blood test with zero problems, and got legally married to Dorothy. Mamie got jealous, and then outed him to the authorities.

I’ve been reading True Sex: The Lives of Trans Men at the Turn of the 20th Century. We have always been here.

got my consult for FMS recently and i was told something interesting: apparently, if i hadn't used braces to straighten my bite, we could have done surgery to bring the jaw forward (and improve my jaw/chin), instead of doing an implant (which i will now have to do)

kind of hit me like a "how the fuck was i supposed to know", but maybe this advice will come in handy for one of y'all

Okay so. Not sure if it's an age thing, or a hormone thing, or a me thing...

I'm post hysto + oorpho (not due to transition but cancer scare) and I've been on hormones for a few years now. Late 20s.

I CAN'T HANDLE SPICY FOOD ANYMORE. I was okayish with peppers and ginger before. Now my mouth explodes if I even get a whiff of the stuff.

Anyone else have changes?

(If you find the post's author I'll be very glad)

\#trans #transmasc

@ftm

What kind of trans masc/men problems should be talked about more?

Hi again, seems like today or yesterday was transmasc visibility day, ironically though I couldn't find any info about it on DuckDuckGO browser.

I know that researches about transmasculine people are almost nonexistent or not so easily accessed on web, especially in Russian spaces, so that's why I have a very little neocities page I and my family run for Russian audience. But we're people too, can get exhausted and run out of ideas, so use this post as an outlet for your frustrations with lack of visibility and maybe I will pick some ideas for articles out of it.

For example, I mentioned lack of information in queer Russian spaces. How many articles about bottom growth (very common thing for those on T) was there in Russian? \None.\ Thankfully there are plenty of articles about bottom growth in English, so all we had to do is to translate, but that's still a frustrating fact. None of the Russian trans NGOs tackled it neither, afaik

@ftm

It does feel lonely on fedi as trans guy

Not just as trans guy, but also the one who isn't that much interested in tech (I can learn something for my amateur website, but that's it).

It's also kinda interesting that I used to have even some aversion to learning tech due to family trauma (don't force your own goals on your kids) and misogyny in IT spaces, which makes makes it a bit harder to have joy in learning it (and also it's fucking hard, I need explanations like I'm 5 or I won't understand). Though among my all-transmasc family members I'm still the one most interested in IT, LOL.

And basically that's why I find bluesky more appealing to me lately, simply because I see variety of interests and more transmascs. If I see memes and shitposts in trans communities on fedi, they're oriented mostly to transfems into tech (which I don't mind at all, I'm just not the target audience). Despite all of that, I will continue to actively use fedi at least to be the one who makes some variety here :D

@ftm

[CW: misogyny] First experience with misogynistic men

I'd like to post about one time when I somehow passed enough as a guy, even though I didn't bind and overall was dressed more "ambiguously". It was a taxi driver that was talking to me about women being an objects for sex as if I'd relate. I tried to argue, but overall I have learned defensive mechanism to laugh at uncomfortable situations. Friend told me after that situation that men in general don't have to laugh if something others have said sucks ass, because men are more allowed to disagree, so I guess I have to unlearn some stuff to deal with it better.

In general, I hate the fact that the more you pass the more comfortable cis men are with saying disgusting shit about women around you, especially since I did (and still am) go through misogyny. I hope I'll be able to deal with it better in a future.

If you have any tips, I'd be glad to hear, this situation definitely made me use only public transport if possible for a while 😭

@ftm

My gender therapist told me this in response to something I said referencing my chest. It was a while ago but it's stuck with me. I'm wondering what you all think of this comment? The comment felt disqualifying, like I was less male for calling my chest a "breast", or I would be seen as less male because of it, but I can be pretty sensitive so I might be overthinking and she might be right that men don't talk like that.

Hey y'all,

I'm looking for more mods on this community. I haven't been super active because of school and I want to make sure there's other people looking out for this community in addition to myself.

Requirements:

-Must have a post history either with this community or related ones on this instance

-Must be trans

-Be transmasc (optional, but preferred)

I'm an older transguy and "pass" very well but I'm considering detransition due to the dangers of the world. I'm in the US and it's no secret that trans people are being targeted. I've been considering if it would be worthwhile to stop testosterone, don a wig, and play dress-up as a woman until this trans witch hunt is over.

I'm solid in my identity, not depressed or panicked. I've been in many dangerous situations in my life and know how it feels to make decisions strictly for survival. I know I can withstand detransitioning temporarily or permanently if needed. Not being on T and dressing a certain way won't make my identity any less true or valid.

I'm at the age where I really don't care what my outer appearance is or how people perceive me as long as I'm safe.

I could use some feedback from the kind folks here, especially any older transguys.

Disclaimer: no part of this is meant to imply that there is a right or better path for my other trans bros, sisters, and siblings. There is no right way to be your true self beyond what you deem it.

cross-posted from: https://beehaw.org/post/18135870

> A great video about both getting hormones and blockers and how to safely use them if you want or have to do it DIY.

I have been working towards losing enough weight to get my top surgery from a specific surgeon with many years of experience with it. I have successfully lost the weight, but now I'm at a point where I can't afford to get it. It costs about $8700 for it and that's without complications or revisions. Top surgery for me doesn't just mean gender affirmation. It means having an easier time breathing and reduced back pain. I desperately want this. So much so that it feels like a need. I just don't know what to do to get that much money with everything I already have to work for.

cross-posted from: https://beehaw.org/post/17983418

> A great video about how cis people should stop playing trans characters especially if the actor is the gender they are transitioning from not to.

cross-posted from: https://beehaw.org/post/17883633

> Title really says it all, warning for mentions of 'crossdressing' etc and disliking labels.

I transitioned ages ago and I'm recently out of a long term relationship. I've been trying to get back into dating, but even when I specify "masc for masc" all of the gay guys I meet are too feminine for my taste. I've been feeling a bit doomed, even sometimes questioning if I should have transitioned in the first place because it would be so easy to find an ideal partner if I hadn't, but the idea of being anyone but my true self is preposterous. Can any other guys relate to this? Any dating tips or specific dating app recommendations?

USA if it helps.

I'm curious how many active transmascs there are on here and want to get to know people better. Introduce yourself in the comments below. You can include anything you want.

Questions if you can't think of any:

-Name

-Gender identity

-How long you've been transitioned/if you've transitioned

-Things that give you gender euphoria

-Where you're from

-What you're looking for in this community

-Random fun fact

Megathread of resources in case any of y'all need them. If you don't currently, save it in case you need it in the future.

I used to have an unhealthy relationship with food. I would constantly be feeling guilty about eating anything and was terrified of gaining any weight because it would make me look more feminine.

When I gain weight now I celebrate it. That means my fat gets to redistribute which means less effort that I have to put into passing which means that I can feel more free and comfortable in my own body.

I have never had so much trouble with TSA (american airport security) until today. My crotch got flagged by their scanners and I had to get a physical patdown (surprise, there was nothing bad). Then I forgot to empty my water bottle so I had to go through it all AGAIN and my crotch was once again flagged and I had to get a physical patdown AGAIN (surprise, nothing bad yet again).

Then my other bag gets flagged after going through the thing again despite my not adding anything to it. The TSA guy opens up my bag and I'm assuming saw my packer which I kept in there to put it back in after I went through security. He then giggles and calls multiple of his coworkers over to look at it. Luckily he didn't take it out. This whole damn time I'm right there. Ugh. Considering getting a lumpy cloth packer just to avoid this ever happening again.

I'm assuming that my crotch kept getting flagged because trans? I've never had this happen to me before.

I used to keep some spare panties around for periods but I don't have to do that anymore cause I got briefs

masculinity is like a weighted blanket, soft and securing, that has also been stolen and claimed as the cat's hehe meow

it might be a bit strange, but i feel more confident in my masculinity when im snuggling down in my bed all cosy n cuddly, but that might just be my kittyness i guess meowmeows

plus im very physically affectionate, bonking and bumping into my friends, to the point where some of them have to tell me to stop >w< which definitely differs from more standard masculine physical affection hehe

anywayyyy hope u all have a good day or night or eepytimes (like meee) >w<

These past couple of weeks I've felt such peace over my transition. I'm still not 100% in the place I want to be yet, but I know that those changes will come eventually.

It's done so much for my mental health to be in an environment that affirms me and to automatically be gendered correctly by most people. Being on testosterone has also done a lot for me because now I can actually bear to look at pictures of myself and think "oh yeah, that's me" and not some weird being that kinda resembles me but isn't.

I remember when I was younger and thought I was trans but was so afraid and second-guessing myself all of the time. I tried to convince myself that I'd regret it.

I don't know what the future will hold. But I'm so, so glad I transitioned. I finally feel whole.

I'm a transmasc demiboy, but I don't really like to present myself very masculine. I still love wearing skirts, I like painting my nails, even wearing light makeup.

I'm not happy about the idea of having facial hair or a deeper voice, which is why I have not yet started HRT, even though I'll probably need to in some capacity since I do want phalloplasty in the future.

I also have no desire for top surgery since I don't want to lose sensation in my nipples, and I don't want to have scars on my chest. They don't bother me anyway, they're small (about an A cup). Just about the only masculine thing I do is that I cut my hair short, not super short, but still shorter than what would be considered feminine.

Is this normal? Does anyone else have similar experiences? I've been told I don't act enough like a boy and that I need to be more masculine.

My insurance denied covering my testosterone for the second time (UGH) and I can't afford the packets I usually take here ($120 even with goodrx) so I'm wondering if the gel pump would be cheaper. Anybody know?

I wanted to give an update on my progress:

My voice has gotten much better. There was a period of time where it was almost hard to speak and I could barely sing and thought my voice would sound like shit forever but I am happy to report that it has leveled out. It even sounds good and has a rich tone.

Losing my voice peremantly was my biggest fear with starting T. Took the risk and I am so glad that it didn't happen.