That sounds like me and my wife.
She's not going to give up her calendar, photos, etc. She's always asking me, so what keyboard do you use? What calendar do you use? What xyz do you use? And I'm always saying... yeah, you don't want to go there. Just use what you want.
I agree that going fedi doesn't automatically solve the issues.
However, moving it away from a multi tiered paid platform (they really tailored it so they could do this) and controlling the bots/scam accounts would be a completely different experience.
I think fedi would at least solve the first one, and I'd expect would help controlling the second.