Real answer: Saline enema. Laxatives (prune juice), stimulants (coffee), and opioids (kratom) might help in some cases (actually probably not the opioids, those are likely to make it worse), but if your constipation is really severe and you want immediate relief then an enema is the way to go. You can pickup prefilled enema kits at most drug stores.

Deep learning can be and is useful today, it's just that the useful applications are things like classifiers and computer vision models. Lots of commercial products are already using those kinds of models to great effect, some for years already.