stardustingss @ stardustingss @aussie.zone

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2 yr. ago

This is why I take in a Pinterest board with like 20 pictures 🥲

Yeah that young I think you basically have to roll with it. Their bed times do eventually shift earlier! Basically you want to get on the other side of the 4 month regression then see what you’re dealing with.

Mine was just like that too! He got a tiny bit more independent as he got older but nowhere near enough. How old is yours now? If it’s not much better by 4-5 months I’d definitely recommend it. It will be a bit harder for us as he’s older and the sleep habits are more set in stone. So the earlier the better!

We are transitioning to cot in his own room so it was suggested we basically work in 15 min increments. Put him down when he first starts showing tired signs (before he’s melting down and grumpy) and give him a chance to fall asleep on his own. If he fusses can try adding one thing at a time, like shushing or song, then patting the mattress, then patting him etc. If that doesn’t work, all good, just go back to what works and try again at the next sleep.

Also having a rock solid routine before sleep and keeping the sleep conditions exactly the same: so always have white noise, always do bed time routine in the same order etc. And consistency. So even if it doesn’t seem like it’s working, sticking with it for every single sleep. “Success” at the beginning may just be laying there without crying for a few mins.

Finding spirituality was so helpful to me. Sometimes it’s just nice to feel like I can surrender, I don’t have to control everything or have all the answers… I just have to have intention and faith and move forward with honesty.

We’ve just had the baby sleep consultant come by. I didn’t have high hopes, in my mind it was just a starting point as it’s the free council service and the advice we got from our maternal child health nurse did not work for us at all.

But I have been pleasantly surprised! She was really nice and the approach she has suggested sounds a lot more suitable for us. It’s going to be a hard 3+ week journey to change baby’s sleep habits. Really hoping at the end of it we will see some better sleep!! I am so tired!!

See that’s what my gut says! Just a weird way to phrase it in my opinion.

Nooo I’ve also had a copy cat! She even went to my hairdresser and asked for the same hair and my hairdresser refused hahaha.

I would love to wear more white and creams, sooo chic. Was going to get one in my latest jacket purchase but in the end went with camel. There’s no way the cream one with city life plus baby would still look nice after the first 5 minutes. I try to go for dark but jewel tones!

I just looked it up, those colours look sooo fun! It really is just practise, like painting or something. Your hand gets steadier and remembers what to do. Though I have been wearing make up for 15 years and still have moments like, idk wtf I’m doing 😂 Just hoping for the best some days!

Agree! I refuse to own a black coat for this reason. Plus hot fashion tip for anyone out there: black just casts more shadows on your face, makes you look more tired and dull. Of course, only matters if you care but a coat in one of your best colours is much more fun 💃🏻

Exactly - now that I’ve thought about it I do feel there’s a difference. Ie. I have friends who will make a comment and it doesn’t bother me as I know they’re not trying to categorise me.

But there’s a way some people go about it that just feels off to me. Like the much older man who was my tutor who decided to take on this weird paternal attitude toward me. His commentary on my clothes in front of everyone was not wanted lol.

Yes that’s a bit how it feels! Years ago I basically only wore black and white as I was very very poor and just stuck to those as it’s easier to make outfits. But when people would comment on it it’s like, no I’m not making a fashion statement I just have no money 😂

Now I incorporate richer colours which I suppose you don’t see as often.

My brain struggles so much with small talk this is probably what it is! I will have to come up with some standard responses 🥲

That makes a lot of sense! I don’t mind commentary and discussion on clothes I guess, it’s just the way some people say it. Sometimes it feels more judgemental and I’m sensitive to it. But a favourite tactic of my bullies at high school was to “compliment” or take a tone like they were “innocently commenting on” something about what I was wearing or how I looked but they meant it as an insult 🙄 I think I just have an over sensitive anxiety response to such things now. I’ll try to get more used to it!!

I suppose for me it’s that mine is a question (and I’d probably tack on a compliment such as “I like it!”) whereas people just tend to make statements and I’m just like “… yes” haha. I think it’s just my autism showing on this issue LOL 🙈

I feel the same. Also a very cold drink is nicer than just a cold one. Crisper. I suppose the extra hot element adds a kind of sharpness too now that I think about it.

I’ve realised a random thing about myself: I hate when people make “observations” about me and tell me. People do it a lot about my style. I guess I like to look nice, but have a fairly simple style and a clear colour palette because I don’t like to buy lots of clothes, so people often say things like, “You really like to wear X colours don’t you?”

It’s the kind of comment that isn’t a compliment so maybe I’m just defensive but it feels like a judgement or I’m being asked to explain myself and it sets me on edge. I don’t know how to respond either.

They are probably just trying to bond and show they’ve noticed but my whole life I’ve attracted unwanted attention and commentary on my appearance so it’s annoying to me. Do other people have their appearance and clothes commented on a lot? Is that just something people do? It never occurs to me to say such a thing to someone else unless I’m giving a compliment or being like, “Ooh is that a new jacket?”

That is helpful, thank you for sharing! I have been considering proposing a full day each type system for the weekends. Right now it’s hodge podge and it ends up I’m still doing most of the work. He never says no if I ask him to take the baby but it’s annoying to even have to ask and not know when/if I’ll get my “me” time. Usually it ends up happening right at the end of the day when I’m too tired to then do anything I actually want to do.

That last paragraph - yep!!! I was hinting like “I have no time to myself” and then being frustrated when things wouldn’t change enough. I don’t think the sleep deprivation has helped me with clear and rational communication haha.

Then I was like. Ok just ask more explicitly for what I need. I wish I could just have my needs anticipated and taken care of but such is life I suppose.

I have to remind myself multiple times a day the other women I see have family, paid help, etc. It’s so hard! I’m a very driven person and I love looking after my baby but it’s also not intellectually stimulating at all haha. I need my projects!

Yeah it’s so weird because he was really good for ages. I didn’t have to ask for things. He would do things for me and look after me. Then it hit a point somewhere where I’m like, literally having to ask basic things like if he can please do the nappy change or take him so I can sleep in. And I think that’s why it got to a yuck place because I’ve also been confused as to why/how/when things changed. We still need to have a bigger talk about That.