As a fairphone 4 owner, I can vouch for them.
Yeah, their hardware is pretty bland and unimpressive but sometimes a boring phone is a good choice for some people.
The Fairphone 4 doesn't have a headphones jack, nor does it have wireless charging. It also only has 1 SIM slot (I think it was micro-SIM: either that or nano-SIM, I can't remember) but it also supports e-SIM natively, so that you can have two phone data plans simultaneously: one with a physical SIM and one with an eSIM.
It also works quite well and it allows you to unlock thebootloader using an automated online tool, where you have to provide the serial number and some other number on the phone box.
Also, the battery life is quite decent, and it supports fast charging
Meanwhile the python devs are crying in the corner
And when you bite into it, it explodes in your face
If it's a cat girl, I'm genuinely concerned for the hamster's safety
I would drink it, smell it, lick it and suck on it in the right places, yes