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Tales From The Mortal Conglomerate: Beyza's Balneotherapy
medium.com Tales From The Mortal Conglomerate: Beyza’s Balneotherapy

A hidden bit of generous hospitality tucked away in one of the greediest places.

Tales From The Mortal Conglomerate: Beyza’s Balneotherapy

Here's the second entry in my weekly, alphabetically titled short stories that take place in my science fiction/fantasy universe. Thanks for reading and for any feedback or reactions.

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Tales From The Mortal Conglomerate: Anton's Application

Over the next few months, I'll be participating in Alphabet Superset and sharing my short stories across the internet. Yesterday marked the end of Week A, and I posted an introduction to my collection of short stories, as well as the first short that I've been working on for the past couple years on and off. I would describe the genre as lighthearted, comedic sci-fi/fantasy.

You can read the introduction here, it's about a 5 minute read: https://medium.com/@griffincouillard/tales-from-the-mortal-conglomerate-disclaimer-cf9a686076d7

And then the post for Week A is here, it's about a 20 minute read: https://medium.com/@griffincouillard/tales-from-the-mortal-conglomerate-antons-application-128fb5721972

Thanks for any reactions or feedback!

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What do you do when trying to describe something very specific?
  • True. I have to remind myself that that's what's so great about any art form; the audience's unique interpretation of it. Everyone is going to see something differently, and each perspective is (in most cases) valid.

  • What do you do when trying to describe something very specific?

    Many times when writing, I get a very specific image in my head of the way I want something to look, or the way I want something to move. Particularly with actions where objects are moving in a very specific way, I want to describe them accurately so that most readers would see the same thing that I'm seeing in my head. The problem is, I don't want to come off as sounding too technical (the object slid along its Z axis and suddenly stopped and rotated 45 degrees on its Y axis), and I also don't want to be so vague that a later sentence contradicts what they were seeing in their head.

    Is this just a psychological thing that I need to get over and stop worrying about, and just write to the best of my ability and edit when I hear critiques/comments from readers, or is it a skill that I need to improve?

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    Hello Writers!
  • Any tips people can throw out are always welcome.

    Whatever is going to work for you will probably be specific to you, but I think a good place to start is to read more stories. Try to nail down what it is you want to achieve with your story, and then find other stories that have succeeded at that, at least in your opinion. There are rules and tropes and formulas to storytelling that will make it easier to entertain readers, but at the end of the day, if you don't like what you wrote, and you didn't enjoy writing it, then I don't think it's worth it.

    In my experience, once you start reading a lot, you start thinking more like a writer. You'll be watching a movie or a show and be thinking "How would I write this scene, how would I describe this to someone who wasn't watching it, and how would I do that in a way that they got the same feeling I got when I was watching it?" or "How would I improve this story, in what ways did it fail to give me the feeling I was seeking?" or "How could I incorporate some of these same narrative devices in my story, what is it that I like about this and how can I convince people that they like my story for the same reasons?"

    You'll especially start asking yourselves these questions when you know you have a good story, and you're obsessed with getting your story on to paper. You'll start filtering everything you experience through the lens of that obsession, and every piece of media you consume will become a piece of the collage you create.

    At least that's how it is for me, maybe you're completely different.

  • Twitter is now X
  • That never made sense to me. X is the shape of two people hugging and O is the shape of pursed lips.

  • Weekly "What are you playing" Thread || Week of July 9th
  • You'll also be able to get those side quests done much faster after you get your horse.

  • Best sub-20 hour games?
  • Seconding Oxenfree. It's one of the few multi-choice/multi-ending games where I was completely content with the ending I got, and didn't feel like the game ever lied to me or ripped me off for choosing the "wrong" thing. I had stayed away from it for so long because I wasn't ready to deal with choice anxiety that I get in a lot of games of that type, but for whatever reason, the game never made me feel like that.

  • whats a game that you got significantly far into, only to realize you were doing something wrong or missing a key feature/ability altogether?
  • In Breath of the Wild, I never learned how to cook in the starting area. I completely bypassed the intended path up to the cold area and somehow climbed up the other side, and then just froze my ass off while eating a bunch of apples. I made it out of the starting area and I think I beat two of the divine beasts before I finally looked up how to cook. I knew the game had cooking, but I thought there would be some kind of cooking menu when you walk up to a cooking pot, I didn't realize you had to just hold items and then drop them in.

  • *Permanently Deleted*
  • I've heard that putting a bell and a bright, reflective collar on a cat can prevent them from hunting wildlife.
    Does anyone know how true this is, or if doing so would negate some of the risks of having an outdoor cat?

  • Scientists Gave a Nazi MDMA and He Renounced Racism
  • "A drug that makes people feel good and renounce racism? Outlaw it immediately!" -US Government

  • Pride Month wrapping up, have you seen any company or organisation do anything remotely meaningful?
  • I think my favorite thing I saw was the Opera GX Twitter account changed their pfp to two men kissing in their logo. On one hand it was just a silly meme, but it also made me think how the rainbow logos have become just a standard thing that no one really cares about after so many years. The rainbow has very little to do with what homosexuality actually is, it's just a flag. I get that the flag holds a lot of meaning, but I'd love it if this caught on and eventually all the logos during pride month featured same-sex couples kissing or hugging or getting married, actual representations of gay people rather than just the rainbow.

  • What do you eat that other people think is odd?
  • I happen to be suffering from a sore throat right now from horrible allergies, so I'll have to remember to try this as soon as I get home.

    As far as other pickled things, I ironically hate pickled cucumbers, but I love pickled eggs and pickled garlic and have been curious to try some other unconventional pickled foods.

  • What do you eat that other people think is odd?
  • i’ll eat the tails on shrimp.

    I thought I was the only one. I've never met anyone else who does this, and everyone thinks I'm a freak when they see me do it.

  • What do you eat that other people think is odd?
  • I'm assuming you've had pickled garlic, then? I just picked up 2 jars of it recently. I have to stop myself from eating too much sometimes. Raw garlic is great for me when I have a bad cold and need to clear out my sinuses.

  • What do you eat that other people think is odd?
  • I could imagine the sweet and salty goes well together. I like when a charcuterie has a nice jam and brie. A cracker or piece of bread with brie, prosciutto, and jam, I could eat so many of those.

  • My best friend is transphobic
  • Can you explain why you believe that?

  • My best friend is transphobic
  • this could be a great opportunity to change someone’s outlook in a positive way.

    It could, but I don't have the energy to educate people these days. I might send them some links if I really cared about them, but I have too little time and energy to politely explain for the millionth time that sex != gender. Same reason I don't have the energy to educate flat earthers.

  • Sensory sensitivity, executive dysfunction, and sunscreen
  • I went camping last month in a bright, sunny area with minimal tree coverage. I'm currently on accutane, so I made sure to ask my dermatologist if there was anything special I should do to be careful about sun exposure. They mentioned that I should look into getting some UV protection long sleeve shirts, so I bought a 4 pack of those, and also a sun hat with similar UV protection rating. I'll admit the hat was not stylish at all, but the shirts were lightweight and soft enough that they didn't bother me at all. I think I put on sunscreen once during the 4 days we were camping, and I didn't get sunburned at all. If you're looking for a hat that might provide some sun protection but also looks nicer than the generic outdoorsy style, maybe look for a bucket hat.

    Also, beyond all of that, just don't spend time around people who judge you for wearing any kind of sun protection. If you're encountering people like that, then they're the one in the wrong, not you. Remind yourself to address which actions are harmful or helpful. Which is more helpful: wearing sunscreen or criticizing someone for wearing sunscreen? Obviously wearing sunscreen is more helpful and criticizing someone is more harmful, and the harmful action deserves no energy put towards considering or reacting to it.

    Normal, polite, nice human beings that deserve your time and energy do not do things like make fun of you for wearing sun protection. They understand, sympathize, and sometimes they'll even help you.

  • "which" vs "this"
  • If it's dialog, then you can write it however your character speaks. Your characters are allowed to make mistakes when speaking. "This means..." comes across like a TED Talk to me. "Which means..." sounds more casual and conversational. And I would use "That means..." if it's someone expanding/responding to someone else's statement.

    "The device is flashing red!" Said Frank. "That means we're all going to die!" Said Steve.

    "I'm feeling congested, which means I might be getting sick."

    "The socioeconomic climate of the place is bad. This means bad things are going to happen."

    It all depends on who is talking and what they're saying. As a narrator, you are also allowed to speak in your own voice when writing. Grammar shouldn't always be homogenous and strict, especially if you're making art.

  • What is your process?
  • In the past, I would have an idea for a story and attempt to start writing it start to finish with barely any notes on where I wanted the story to go or any kind of outlining. I would have it all in my head and try to fool myself into thinking I could finish writing an entire novel just by only writing what needed to be written and not wasting any time anywhere else. This is why I've never finished any large writing project, and any writing I've considered "finished" is usually under 5,000 words. I would either get bored because I didn't have a clear goal written down, or I would give up because I decided the story wasn't good enough.

    Now, after becoming obsessed with my latest story idea, and hyping myself up and convincing myself that I WILL finish writing a novel, I've learned that in order for that to happen I need a lot more tools and organization than what I was previously trying to do. I'll start by doing brain dumps any time I have any amount of inspiration, this allows me to quickly put down what I want to happen in the story without needing to describe what is actually happening in the story. It's fun to go back to these pages after I've written a section and see what's changed from then to now. I now have a lot more appreciation and understanding for why certain Star Wars characters originally had very different concepts and stories (Han Solo/Jaba original concepts).

    After getting all of my ideas out, I then like to organize them. I'm currently using Fabula cards on a digital board called miro. Not trying to shill, but just to show you what the cards are, here's the link: fabuladeck.com It took me a lot of time to understand that using a story formula to write doesn't necessarily mean your story is formulaic, and if I want to attempt to subvert any expectations while also not upsetting my readers, I first have to understand what people expect in a story. I've also been reading "Save the Cat Writes a Novel" to try to get a deeper understanding of storytelling. I've always had good instincts when it comes to storytelling, but I've learned that I can't completely rely on my instincts and I have to learn from people who have been doing this much longer and much more successfully than I have. I also have a copy of Ursula K. Le Guin's "Steering the Craft" which I hope will also give me some more useful tools.

    After I have everything organized the way I like, then I feel like I can start actually writing what I want people to read. I try not to think too much about it being perfect and only focus on writing it good enough that I can come back later and edit it to make it perfect. I have to remind myself that the editing process might take just as long as the writing process, so I shouldn't waste too much time trying to edit while I write.

    On top of all of this, I'm constantly filtering anything I consume through the lens of my story. I know that if I stop being obsessed with it, I will give up on it like all of my other projects, and as a result I'm constantly thinking of ways to include themes and character types from other stories that I enjoy.

  • silent_g Silent-G @beehaw.org
    Posts 3
    Comments 19