You can skip this comment if you're avoiding anything arch-based; I don't have any additional distro suggestions beyond what's already listed (they really are mostly the same), but in regard to the arch-based suggestions, I would only add that you can reduce the maintenance by choosing a DE with a slower update cycle (e.g. XFCE or any WM) and, more importantly, remembering that you don't actually have to update your system every day. Even once a month is probably fine. I don't get the impression you want vanilla Arch though; Endeavor or even Manjaro minimal will have the defaults you're looking for, or literally any other non-Arch distro if the AUR isn't important to you.
Adults are worse at passive learning than kids, but focused learning works just fine. You're probably better off buying/pirating something like rosetta stone than you are watching sitcoms.
We do what we always do. We fight the baseless propaganda we hate with the baseless propaganda we like, and then when called out on it, we justify its posting by saying, "Isn't it crazy how easily this could be true though? It's like there's no difference between truth and satire these days!"
Whenever I use a touchpad without physical buttons, I usually disable the middle button entirely. It's more of a hammer-to-mosquito solution than what you were asking, but it's as easy as adding this command to the autostart file (on Xorg): xinput set-button-map "Name-of-your-Touchpad-goes-here" 1 0 3 4 5 6 7, where "Name-of-your-Touchpad-goes-here" can be found with xinput list --name-only.
Speak for yourself. Besides, all-or-nothing privacy is a false dichotomy. Giving out less personal data is still better than giving out everything, and you don't need 100% privacy to be unprofitable to advertisers.
Beware that, on Arch, "once you've got it set up" can be a loaded statement. Once your OS is running and all your programs reinstalled, there will still be a dozen little configuration files somewhere that you don't know about and that will annoy you until you spend the time to problem solve. If you let those problems linger, it can lead to a "struggle never end[s]" situation. Part of the beauty of Manjaro is sensible defaults. But if you want to try out Arch, you should. It's not hard; it's just annoying for a while.
When using a pre-configured Arch derivative, I really only bother to back up a few folders in /home, e.g. ~/.config, ~/Downloads, ~/Documents, ~/Pictures, ~/Music, maybe also .bashrc if I added a bunch of aliases. Everything else is easy enough to reinstall.
You can skip this comment if you're avoiding anything arch-based; I don't have any additional distro suggestions beyond what's already listed (they really are mostly the same), but in regard to the arch-based suggestions, I would only add that you can reduce the maintenance by choosing a DE with a slower update cycle (e.g. XFCE or any WM) and, more importantly, remembering that you don't actually have to update your system every day. Even once a month is probably fine. I don't get the impression you want vanilla Arch though; Endeavor or even Manjaro minimal will have the defaults you're looking for, or literally any other non-Arch distro if the AUR isn't important to you.