Reason for my depression : Life sucks and I knew it, from my childhood.
I feel better: When I am too busy to think about it. For now, work and family occupies my time mostly. I smile ( = cry ) when I see same depression pattern for my kid.
Imo, you should actively change your situation ( see a doc, have a hobby etc... more importantly, find positive in even small things )
Can you share model details. Also, possible to use while driving/swimming.
Think twice before lending money.
tldr, track record
People are different. Even if 10000% perfect matches, there will be issues in between. Just give sometime.
Multiple solutions are there, like counselling. Understanding each other plays a big role. If you are parents, you gotta hell of responsibilities and less time for arguments.
Thank you for this lengthy reply ! Yes, I do have social anxiety. I do try to break it many times but inherently it is there. Without a very good reason, I will keep it in the comfort zone ( lazyness + anxiety , I guess ).
I may need a set of friends who are not judgemental.
Yes, I do small talk.
Sometimes I want to continue that relation. But, most times 1. I dont remember their face or parts of the talk 2. I just dont actively think about continuing ( Its like I have to put a remainder on that talk - quite dumb ? ) 3. They might be disinterested in the next time ( partly, I believe of silly way of expressing things )
Thanks, that consistency is what I am missing . I used to write notes. But what-if-others-see-my-silly-notes feeling also there.
dumb ( stupid ) : missing the sense in talk ( Sometimes get the sense when re-thought later )
I do most daily routines and has good relationship with known persons. But, the dumb feeling pulls me back ( eg: "not creating" new friends , not getting another job/getting out of comfort zone )
What do you "passively" do to overcome this ? Else , what are the active tasks you do?
I dont think it's sleep apnea. It's like my processing power is low,or cannot multi task
I snore rarely and get 6-8 hours sleep any day. One I think I feel good about this job , I do not need to think about work tasks at my home, and sleep within 5 minutes I lay on bed :) ( I still hate night shifts , btw ) .
Get drowsy and have to fight nodding off while driving? Do meetings send you to a seemingly impossible fight with staying awake?
Were you having low hours of sleep during these?