orgrinrt @ orgrinrt @lemmy.world

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2 yr. ago

Oh it’s not useless. Each time people go to the streets, it lowers the bar to do it next time too. Dancing frogs and that kind of things might lower the initial barrier for some, and from there it just gets easier to organize in general too.

It’s not immediately useful, but this improves the will and tendency to organize. And shows the strong nature of solidarity, of standing together.

One day it’ll be extremely beneficial that a lot more people have lower barriers to join the other people in the streets. The US isn’t that far from their own Maidan experience starting to feel nigh.

I wish our DM had real-life message to telepathically convey stuff to just one person.

In my group there would be literal zero chance of the others not listening to me if I ever threw a “hmm why is that wire there”, because they would’ve heard the dm either tell me due to passive perception or had me throw a roll and then tell me. So they know it’s a trap no matter if I want to rp it. Every time I get frustrated and question it, there’s this one guy who always has the reasoning and justifying at hand why they would know to do the right thing and to be fair they kind of make sense always, but there’s zero chance he’d come up with that just by my rp line alone without knowing for a fact it’s a trap.

I think that’s the worst kind of meta gaming. They are fully blind to the meta gaming there and just do it by instinct. And when you try and question, they always have a defense ready, even if it’s so wildly specific and unlikely but you can’t really fault it because they’re not stupid, the justifications hold, it’s just that the only way they habitually generate them is because they know what I know despite they couldn’t in-game know.

Like I’ve occasionally just left the thing unsaid in-game out of frustration and just reason to DM that there’s so much going on, my focus instantly switched to another thing and I forgot because I’m not very smart. So we all know there’s a trap but now nobody has told this to the others.

What do they do? The one guy fucking always comes up with some shit like “hmmm be wary, they must’ve laid traps here, hey you with good investigation, please look around and see if there’s one in this specific place for some reason” and the rolls of course often succeed because they always choose to best one to solve that.

But from rp perspective, we’ve walked this path for a while, and this thought only came up now, that it might be trapped? Just right now when you know, outside of the game, that there’s a trap?

I call bullshit and it frustrates me so much, there’s very little chance of anything interesting ever happening in-game because we seldom miss anything or do the wrong things, because “somehow” we always happen to do the right things no matter who notices things in-game or rolls or whatever, no matter how much any of us attempt to rp it, somebody just meta games it without it being explicitly or admittedly meta gaming and gets all defensive when questioned and because they now know everything, can figure out an explanation the DM can do nothing but accept because it makes sense, now that they know to pull the right shit out their ass.

Ugh. It’s not even a big deal, our group is fun and the adventuring isn’t bad, these things don’t happen often enough for it to really affect things, but god do I hate it. This ended up being a rant, I didn’t even know how much I get frustrated with it until I just now read this back. Jesus…

I have never met anyone circumcised before, nor even heard of one outside of celebrities and internet randoms like this.

So the thing about some being grossed out is purely cultural and not a universal thing. I find it odd that some would be grossed out about a thing like that, but if you choose to remain within that culture, it’s probably sensible to account for that. But I would bet it’s really not a big deal for anyone despite what they say. There are more important things going on whenever people end up in a situation where that comes up. I wouldn’t worry about that, but the again I don’t know your culture, maybe it is a big deal.

For me personally, I really like my “hood” so to say. Keeps the senses more heightened there when the delicate part does not chafe around and touch everything all the time. On top of that, I find much more hygienic to have a natural “shield” that is easy to clean and keep regulated in terms of pH and all. No doubt it would be more problematic in hot climates where there might be more sweating and stuff, that would require more intense and frequent upkeep, but here in the global North, I think it would be disadvantageous not to have the natural luxury.

Not only would I not want a circumsization, I find it actively harmful to myself and my personal health. I also find the practice extremely off-putting and horrifying, but then again all cultures come with their own “barbaric” traditions so to say, so I’m not about to yuck anyone’s yum. You do you, I say, live your best life.

It does come with some required upkeep and work, but so do our teeth. If you maintain them, they’re going to be healthy and beneficial overall. No need to cut them off in my opinion, just because it’s extra work. But that’s not the justification for the cut, so I also don’t mean to sound patronizing here. Just my view on it.

That’s equally valid of course, but unless you mean your birth family and not your own, the more appropriate and commendable route would be to remove yourself from the wrong family situation and figure out a new, working, one. It’s no benefit to anyone, least to yourself, if it’s not working out. Everyone will be happier for it ultimately, even if it requires some tough choices and a whole bunch of compromises, adaptation and potential heartbreak in the short term.

I mean the same is true for birth family too, but at least there it doesn’t matter as much, since often the first priority and the more day-to-day impactful one will be your own immediate family, so you can simply minimize the need to ever interact with them.

And there’s the moral implication, that you didn’t choose your birth family. But you did choose your own immediate family. So there’s a responsibility there in the latter that isn’t present in the former.

Unless the situation is that you didn’t choose your immediate family either. If it’s not working out, it’s even more of a reason to figure out a way out.

Unless there’s no way out. In which case, and only in this case, your sentiment seems agreeable and hopefully the situation doesn’t last. And if it does, hopefully you get as much time off as possible.

Yeah well, this is of course just a singular anecdote, but my experience with any touch-based de on Linux hasn’t been great.

No Linux phone I have ever seen has had a particularly competitive pricing. Or specs.

But perhaps there has been some major advancements I’m not aware of in the past week.

In any case, your latter point is true.

At this point I would not be surprised if steam built on top of the deck idea and the support it already provides for fairly responsive and configurable inputs, touch screen included, to launch a steam phone or something.

I mean deck isn’t all that far from having such a device. For the actual phone network stack they would likely just partner up with someone already in the space.

They’ve already had to tackle powering a lightweight portable device with a touch screen and adapting the UX for a small screen and non-kbd input. They’ve already established they can source parts and mass produce a competively priced device.

But realistically I can’t see it being that much better than the recent Linux phone offerings.

Yeah, the fundamental issue here too, ultimately, condenses down to tolerance and acceptance. Of other faiths, of other customs, of foreign ways to present or identify, of anything your faith or culture might not allow or actively do.

Just being able to accept or at the very least tolerate others, as they are, without trying to turn them, or, kill them if they won’t turn…

I can’t figure out why this is so hard for us humans, the majority of us at least, when it seems so… easy? Unless the difference is offensive to you, which, again, is just intolerance of difference. Just let them be and be your best self yourself. I can understand having a few words to try and sway them to be saved according to your faith or whatever, but failing that, just live your best life and I don’t know… maybe pray for them on your own or something if you’re truly worried about their soul or something. But dont go bothering them with that shit if they aren’t receptive. It seems so simple?

I don’t usually engage in these, but today has been pretty rough and my partner is on a work trip this week and I don’t want to burden them needlessly right now, knowing it’s stressful for them as a baseline. Writing things down might help, I’m thinking, and posting it perhaps encourages others to also step in and share. So it might do good, even if it doesn’t really have immediate impact on me personally.

I had to pause my studies past May, and I thought initially I’d be fine and get employed in the field for the time being, while I work on my health and mind to continue. I have adhd so it gets rough sometimes, I easily burn out and it’s hard to bounce back when that happens, and for a while I lose all interest in continuing the thing. That happened with the degree this time.

But, despite having great grades (avg of _{4.5/5 overall), the degree almost complete (}85% done) and having some experience working in the field, also as an entrepreneur for a while there, the work search has been an awakening. It’s been brutal.

Without going too much into that, it’s really done a number on my confidence career-wise. This is my nth pivot of career after always getting let down by my own enthusiasm vs. apparent employability, and I really honestly think this was my last fuck to give in terms of trying to be something more career-wise. It’s a common adhd trait, pivoting, also the easy discouragement (I tend to have a brutal case of rsd when it comes to professional stuff, not so much on personal life, which is a weird combo), so I know this will keep happening, until I get lucky. It’s all about luck I think, because I’ve always been capable and proficient in these, and I’m very enthusiastic and good teamplayer, but I fucking hate advertising myself and writing a cv is always a pain since I simply can’t make myself to write it up in a manner that would signal my strengths, it’s embarrassing to try and toot my own horn. So I need to get face-to-face time to make an impression, which I tend to do if I get the chance. However, my new degree and career aspirations are in ICT, and turns out, it’s not easy to get those interviews in the first place. In fact, I’ve got exactly zero. I’ve talked extensively with some friends in the same field and all they say is I need to suck it up and write a hype cv that mentions some certain words to get past the initial filters to an interview, but no matter how hard I try, I can not do that. It’s embarrassing. Feels similarly bad like I was breaking into a house to steal their TV during daytime when I can see them in the house. It’s so fucking bad. I convinced myself I can do this, volume is key, just apply around and I’m guaranteed to get some face time within an interviewer. Nope. None. It boggles me.

So I’ve been fighting this for past few months, and I think I have to admit that the hyping thing is part of the work in this field. I do not possess that skill or capability, so I’m not fit for this field of work either. It’s fucking depressing since I thought I finally found the thing I’m good at. I feel like I’m great in most everything I’d ever have to do, have experience doing them with clients and FOSS too, top of my class in the actual programming etc. courses (I’ve struggled with physics and more advanced maths, but it’s not like I got anything below average there either..), but this one thing I can not do, hyping myself up, writing embarrassing sales pitches about myself, this is the thing that makes me unemployable? Fuck me. I did not expect this and nothing in my studies had prepared me for this one.

So right now I’m pretty worn out and slowly circling down a despair spiral. I’m past 30 and haven’t found my field yet. Nothing sticks. Either I ultimately suck, or then I’m too rigid in my weirdness to fit the bill in things like the hyping I described above. Either way I get nowhere and either have to find a new path, or give up.

So far I have managed not to give up. Always going for the next thing, trying to find the thing I’d be valuable and useful in, have a stable income and ultimately a pension to depend on. I get let down by a field, I bite my lip and go for the next one.

But this time it feels different. Like there aren’t many things left out there to try that interest me enough that I’d at least have a chance of enjoying the thing I do at least a little bit. And at the same time, I’m slowly starting to run out of time. It’s already getting late to build up a comfortable pension, so that’s one of the reasons I’d do this soon gone. I’ve pretty much tried all the things I feel interested about, even slightly, so anything that follows will probably just suck, and I’ll feel tired and spent at home after the days, and ultimately that’s going to be bad for my relationships too, family foremost. I get that most people live like that, but I’m not convinced it’s worth living for me, if it ends up being like that.

I’m already prone to get spells of clinical depression, and I’m on constant medication even when I’m doing well, as a preventive measure. I eat so many pills every morning, it’s a surprise I’ve managed to get this far in life. I don’t feel like I’d feel before I find myself at the bottom of that void, so I feel confident I’m not spiraling that way just yet, but if I don’t manage to find a goal to run towards soon, that’s bound to happen. But right now nothing seems worth it, and I’m kind of fed up with all these pivots. Start from 0 over and over again, just to make all the effort null eventually when starting another thing from 0. And these aren’t the easy kind of things. You apply to some school or degree, work that, do intern and junior work on the side, perhaps freelance like I usually do via my own company, it takes years and years of effort to learn a new thing, get competent, get experience. It’s a whole thing. And when it turns out to be for nothing and I have to start over with a new thing, it honestly fucking sucks, but at least I’ve always had the drive before, and some options to choose from. Right now there aren’t any options left. Even if I had any drive, where would I direct it? There’s nothing left. I’ve tried to apply myself in so many different things, learnt so many different professions, and I haven’t got anywhere with any of them. Either I suck in conventional ways (I.e I’m not very good at the thing despite the attempt to be) or unconventional ways (like me being unable to write hype advert of myself to get past the initial screening of applicants).

I really don’t think I have anything to offer to anyone at this point. I have a lot of drive and enthusiasm, I’m willing to learn and spend years in doing so, but none of that amounts to anything if I simply don’t get employed. It seems I’m only worth it for employers if they get me for free (intern) or for cheap and only part time (junior stuff or freelance), but the second I start looking for an actual full time job, I don’t even get the interviews. Or if I do, it happens to be the field I never got good enough in, hence not getting employed.

I’m not sure where I’m going with this. I’m just so frustrated and feel like I have nothing left to give. The juices have ran out. I’ve given my everything, truly, and ended up getting nowhere.

Now the options are either be a stay-at-home dad or try to just make do with something that will likely eventually drive me back down to depression. The adhd and recurring depression is a bad fucking combo and I hate being like this, but what can I do? I always take all the pills I’m given. When I’m told to change the meds or start looking for new ones, I do so. I never fight the treatments, I take anything and everything I’m given that might help. But it doesn’t make me a normal person capable of normal things, despite all. There’s nothing more I can do. I can only follow the directions and orders given to me by psychiatrists, doctors and whatnot. That’s all. And if that’s not enough for a normal life, I’ve tried to adapt, give all my years in an attempt to find a thing I could fit in. A purpose I could sustain.

But there isn’t one. Maybe there isn’t one for anyone, people just fare better with the things like not being hyper conscious and sensitive with the way they write about or present themselves. Maybe others have it exactly as hard, they just have a higher tolerance of failure and disappointment that the can keep going longer before falling down. It really fucks with one’s head to try and understand how other people manage all these things, with so much less effort, and end up with a sustainable career and no clinical depression episodes leaving them incapable of anything other than psychiatric care and hospital stays. Maybe it’s not less effort. Maybe the just simply can do more. They can support a higher amount of effort before submitting to the eternal, readily available void of nothingness and catatonic spells.

I don’t know. This is just something I’ve been trying to live with lately, but today all this is getting too much time in my brain. The suicidal ideations are getting worse and I keep finding myself just lost in watching a wall for hours, running all these thoughts on hyperdrive through and around the storms raging through my head.

It’s not as bad as it could be, I don’t feel like I need to consider writing down some instructions to loved ones to haul my suicidal ass to the psychiatric ward, not just yet anyway, but it’s still rough. Takes a toll.

So perhaps I’d better focus on that. It could be so much worse. But I keep getting back to the flipside; it could be so much better too.

But the mind does not much care for my opinions or rational thoughts. It does its thing, all I can do is try and pump the brakes the best I can when I need to, and watch the road end, hopefully in a ditch, relatively safely, and not into a fucking slope and a freefall from a cliff soon after.

But that’s my day. Hopefully it’s been better for others.

Looking from outside in, seems to me that this is one of those rare instances where a lot of those already doing it would happily do it as a passion project or a hobby on the side… I’d wager most people with even a trace amount of morals wouldn’t do it, not for a paycheck or otherwise.

If everyone dared to challenge the shitty practices and expectations of their superiors (while actively following through with the reasonable ones), then they’d (the superiors) have no other choice but to accept that the can’t just order whatever, contexts matter and life fluctuates, same as the world, locally and at large.

Unions are the tool towards this. It’s the convenient hammer a worker can wield to dare build a more sensible environment for work.

Anyone going against these superiors alone can rightly expect to get sacked or something to that effect. It’s not okay and shouldn’t be like that, but that’s the unfortunate reality.

Do the same together, and unless they are confident in their capability of replacing everyone efficiently and quickly, somehow eating the time and cost of re-establishing the workflow and the silent knowledge previously shared between the senior workers and the new, etc, they have to bend and listen to reason. And I am pretty confident in saying that there isn’t a workplace that can ever be confident in all that, unless they only ever had a maximum of two workers and a very generic, easily learnt job.

Lesson here is the old and tired union, nobody likes to hear it for whatever reason, but there exists an effective way to fight precisely this. Adapt and wield it. Make things more safe and sane for everyone.

I have a pet theory that Putin is attempting to get a big reaction from NATO, so that he can then internally use that as an excuse why the war in Ukraine did not end well, and why they had to ultimately concede points they earlier held they wouldn’t in the eventual peace negotiations.

Not winning against Ukraine would be shameful for him, especially after all the messaging done about Ukraine not even being a real country.

Not winning against the entirety of NATO, on the other hand, sounds reasonable and understandable. But just saying that isn’t very persuasive. He needs imagery of destroyed Russian equipment in another NATO country or something concrete like that, to show that NATO truly is involved and waging war against Russia. That’s would also justify the initial reasoning for this misguided excursion — NATO is indeed warring against us, it was all justified! See these images of dead Russians in the Baltic Sea! The flaming Russian jets! See the havoc the big bad NATO wreaks on us poor Russians! We stand no chance, we have to settle for peace, those bullies are too strong now, and they are evil in their ways! In order to survive, we must concede a bit, lest NATO comes and bombs you and your family in the night like the thugs they are! gesturing at the constant dramatized imagery of destroyed Russian equipment in some NATO region

I’m convinced the economy, despite currently running on the war, is finally slowly collapsing to the point of it being visible to the peasants, perhaps showing inconvenient signs of that with the gas shortages across Russia, whatever else they are trying to keep under wraps. I think it’s starting to get embarrassing unless something changes and they can play victim to some bigger baddie yet again terrorizing good pious Russians. Maybe they have determined they can’t keep the effects contained no longer, and the seams will start to burst soon, so they need something that justifies the peace negotiations and conceding some of their strict conditions for the peace. Otherwise the people might just start seeing how fucked they are and rise up.

Funnily enough, I somehow stumbled my way to sergeant, also graduating primus of my class in the NCO school, by actively breaking the unwritten assumptions and “traditions” (habitually, not intentionally) and was consistently rated the most competent and, I think this is the more important aspect, liked / respected by both those below and those above me, out of my entire company. Only segment I consistently got somewhat worse ratings was peers, I.e other NCOs, especially on the respect part (they too did concede the competence despite all) which kind of makes sense, since I wouldn’t do all the yelling or excessive barrack rule hawking or whatever, which, all of it basically, always seemed counterproductive to me. But would make the others look bad when my squad wouldn’t have to suffer that nonsense daily… I made sure my squad would present cleanly and know their shit, just by being there with them, doing just that. It’s easier to just go along with someone else, when they go first, than listening to someone not doing said thing tell you to do the thing without them themselves doing it. But I digress.

Just my anecdote about the cliche of “don’t think” attitude in army. It works, perhaps that’s why it is a thing, but I would suggest that it might not be the only thing that works, and, maybe some other paradigms would work much better, if only given chance.

And the more immediate thing I wanted to convey: Not everyone in the army (depends on your country of course though) is the same, and there were, back then during my time, and almost certainly now too, different people doing different things. Especially when you go down to squad level and NCOs, there’s a lot of room for variety in ways to do things and handle stuff.

The twist? I was unmedicated the entire time, too. No diagnosis (did get one pretty much right after when I went to uni, before that I was 100% sure I didn’t have adhd or anything, I was just weird and lazy on important stuff, extremely non-lazy on useless stuff… the entire thing was an accident after I went through the fallout from a burnout with a psychiatrist and therapists, who unpromptedly marched my ass to adhd tests and ran months worth of interviews with family and teachers I had when I was child and all…), though everyone above joked about it all the time because I would stay up late into night just obsessing on some equipment inventory or whatever reports, often just voluntarily doing platoon level stuff too, when the second lieutenants would be too lazy to do them in the first place, or I didn’t like the way they omitted a lot of important stuff in the reports they’d almost always run by me (yeah my hyperfocus and excessive energy was very much abused and I did burn out pretty bad just before I left for reserves). With medication? I think I might have just been one of the other NCOs, telling the guys not to think, and treat them as people not capable of thinking. No way to know now, but, I left my active service with best grades and ratings of my company both from below and above (but still not peers…), so I would claim that perhaps we’d do well to give more chance for new ideas and neurountypical flavor on things.

But I should also add that I never went on tour or anything. Our country only has defense forces, so active service meant mainly education and training, both myself but mostly for those just doing the service without stripes. Not sure how this would’ve fared in an actual stressful situation and environment.

But I will say, I was extremely good in chaotic situations, which seems is a common thing with adhd peeps in general. It was very easy for me to take control of a chaotic or messy situation that, like always, went somehow to shit and required improvisation. Perhaps because I would just act, and have a lot of ideas about what to do next, pretty much at all times. I didn’t really stop to think, which of course could’ve lead to some better choices, but I found, same as those above apparently, it’s better to make a choice and act fast on your feet, than to make the best choice but having to stop and think.

But this became a weird tangent. Sorry about that. Point is, “don’t think” is not the only way these things work. Sometimes “think too much and constantly” is just as good, if not better, when coupled with the adhd parallelism of action and thought.

Edit: Perhaps worth it to add, I was very bad at shooting despite very hard training and will to excel. The usual grunt stuff, I really didn’t manage past average. But that might be why they forced me to NCO path despite my strong messaging about my strong desire not to do that. I’m pretty sure adhd plays a part in that. Individually I’m not a very good soldier. But at the helm of a squad, it takes a very different set of skills, which really shines, in my opinion, with the usual adhd traits.

To be fair, he did warn that we couldn’t possibly comprehend this kind of war

Yeah, it’s hard if the budget is literally zero, but if not, students get affordable monthly tickets to public transports at least around here, so that already makes it very possible to get around on the cheap. It’s not expensive to start with, at least anywhere where I’ve ever been to, as a local or as a tourist, so only in very extreme cases would that be a problem. Even then, asking around one can get lucky and get a used bike on the cheap, or for free from a relative or a friend. Depending on the city, the bike can be faster and more convenient, even, than public transport.

Once you can get around, a city turns into a treasure trove of possibilities and activities. Sure, there are expensive options, but also a huge variety of free or cheap options too! The toughest part is daring to go. It takes some bravery, especially if doing something or going somewhere for the first time, but it always gets easier and easier once you get through those first hurdles.

Edit: To add, there are almost always interesting places to spend a day in just outside the city proper. Or even a bit farther away, but still along the public transport routes or bike’s reach. Where I live, we have some public apple orchards for example, one can make a day out of going to pick a basketful of apples and having a picnic. In the winter there are fun slopes on some smaller hills that have publicly maintained slopes to go sledging in, make it a day with some hot chocolate and friends! Some smaller museums outside the city center are very affordable and can have quirky subjects and presentations. Even just biking or walking to some lake or park can be great, take some acoustic instruments or a boombox or something, sit around and chill, alone or with friends!

For things to do alone, at least in my city, we have public outdoor gyms spread around. Some of the farther ones don’t get much use, so I can usually be alone there when I go, it’s very zen especially in autumn when it’s a bit chilly. Local coffee shops and some bars have free exhibitions of local artists usually, same for libraries. Sometimes you can get lucky and have impromptu live music too, with no additional costs! Smaller local bands have very affordable tickets too, usually less than a pint. And if you’re a student, at least most places I’ve ever been to, you can get drinks on the cheap, if you’re not too picky about your vices.

This is all not even mentioning things like tabletop game groups that gather just for the fun of it, no cost. People bring games and you play, no need to own any yourself. Usually it’s coffee shops or bars, so there might be costs from the aux things like drinks, but you can participate with just water, who cares? Often these are advertised in said coffee shops with some printed paper on a wall, or maybe the various boards across the city and markets and whatnot that have adverts/notices etc.

The toughest thing, all in all, is daring to go. It really is the hardest part to be brave enough to go and do stuff. It’s not easy for anyone, but once you dare the one time, it gets easier from there, and gets fun very fast!

And in some part, the bravery it takes to go somewhere for the first time. It’s always going to be easier the second time, but the first time is always the hardest and easiest to skip/avoid/excuse by staying in one’s comfort zone.

Yeah pretty sure all evil deeds start with good intentions. So, no. I would very likely mess up my own head by thinking I’m doing the right thing, and if I’m secure in my position as the leader, I’d have a big load of yes men hovering around enforcing and enabling my every thought and idea, be it good or not. Most likely it’ll tend towards the “not good” side over time, and at some point everything just gets distorted and convoluted and by that point, there’ll be no return. And if I’m not secure in my position, then I’ll be dead and replaced before I can spell out my first decree as the ruler. If I’m to be good, I’ll not be ready for the bad coming my way. If I’m ready for the bad shit, I have to be ready to dispense my own bad shit. And that, then, wraps into my first point.

There’s no way that would work if I was truly benevolent. I don’t believe it’s sustainable or even possible to lead as a dictator that is good or benevolent.

Edit: that’s in practical terms. Let’s not even begin with the ideals — can one really ever be both benevolent or just generally good, and a dictator? I believe not. Sharing the burden and the authority would almost always be the more moral choice, not to mention more plausible in terms of lasting.

Was just about to comment the same. I’ve seen bad shit thanks to my adhd and the all too common morbid curiosity.

Even I wasn’t ready for that, it’s not common to get such a close and focused view on that shit…

I want to emphasis, for anyone morbidly curious, you really ought not click the link unless you want to feel very upset and uneasy. Be warned.

Also, as a side note, that’s not an easy single shot to make, especially if the initial reports are right that it was taken 200 meters away… unless you’re a professional. You have to be very familiar with the gun and really have the sights/scope honed to leave it at a singular shot like that. That’s a small target at that distance even if aiming for center of mass. It’s from the side as well it seems… not many would be comfortable taking that one.

I don’t like this somehow. Feels wrong, even if here especially the target really had it coming.

I don’t mean this is in a bad way, but they are sort of right on the last part. Apologies aren’t useless though. They are very needed to maintain healthy relationships between people, be they romantic or business or otherwise.

But I do also get very tired very quickly, if someone is over-apologizing or just constantly doing it. Either there’s a reason for the apology and they constantly fuck up or do something wrong, at least in their own opinion enough to warrant the apology. or they keep saying it where they need not do so which is just frustrating and I have also associated it with lack of confidence.

Either way, I can understand your ex, and have felt the exact way they did, and I wanted to just stop by and say that it is not necessarily intended as an insult or as a criticism or whatever, just that they really could not deal with it. I had no hard feelings or anything bad to say about the people I’ve met like this, always apologizing, it’s simply a very human incompatibility.

There are people who don’t perceive the apologies as tiring or annoying or as lack of confidence or whatever. Those people will love you for it. But the people who don’t, aren’t necessarily intending to signal or say it’s bad, it might just be that it’s incompatible with them. That’s how I’ve explained it or how I feel it anyway, but I found myself relating to your ex so thought I’d throw in an anecdote from the other side.

Oh christ I didn’t realize the timing thing, makes this that much more funny. The confident look of the guy when he sees he finally got read a minute after the time they confidently told the other party to come.

It’s so dumb, oh my god

They probably couldn’t be happier, with a deep sigh of relief, seeing as how most of the others would look.