(Obligatory: I’m not a psychologist/psychiatrist, but I’ve been in your husband’s shoes, and all of the men in my family are living with depression)

First, thank you so much for even sticking by your husband and reaching out to find ways you can help. It is all too common that people get frustrated when their significant other is trapped by depression and push them away or don’t seek to understand. Your husband is a lucky man.

On the flip side, supporting someone in difficult times like this can be taxing. Don’t feel guilty for seeking your own support, such as your own therapy sessions with a psychologist. Supporting someone else becomes so much easier when you also have a system behind you as well, rather than going alone because they are the ones with depression.  I did not do myself any favors by essentially doing what it sounds like you are doing, but for my ex-wife, being her safe space/anchor while she worked on her general anxiety and a lot of suppressed childhood trauma, but it took a huge toll on me as well, basically ignoring my needs because I was dedicating everything to her.

Some context on my opinions here: I was someone who was a “gifted kid” (advanced classes in school, extra curricular activities, science summer camps, etc) and lived almost 30 years without an ADHD diagnosis because it was a dirty word back when I was young. Today I’m living today the related depression as an adult when it’s hard to keep up with things “normal” people take for granted and a lot of social anxiety from a difficulty forming strong lasting relationships.

I’d like to offer some suggestions that may help, some of which have helped me, while others have helped my family but weren’t successful for me:

• Therapy: all three of us in my family have our own therapist, and we all have our own cadence for that. Sometimes being able to speak to a neutral third-party is easier than talking to a loved one, because they may still be unconsciously trying to hide their “weakness” from those that they love. Also, if your situation allows, try “shopping around” for a therapist, including trying a psychologist (not sure if your country has the distinction, but in all of the places I’ve lived, a psychologist does therapy but cannot prescribe medication, while a psychiatrist can; having one or both can be helpful).
• Try to limit his use of alcohol as a self medication, it’s one of the worst things for you if you’re already fighting depression, as it just reinforces the depression mindset of feeling stuck and listless. If he’s resistant, try suggesting things like non-alcoholic cocktails/beer, which can help by continuing the “routine” while replacing it with something of a placebo effect
• Medication isn’t for everyone, and even if it is right, not all anti-depressants or ADHD meds are the same. If he hasn’t already, I encourage you to speak with your husband and medical provider about trying other options. My dad went through about 5 anti-depressants before he found one that felt right for him
• break routines: one of the hardest things for me is breaking out of a downward spiral that can be weeks in the making. You mentioned that you’ve tried to get him to do this, but I encourage you to change tactics (e.g. instead of asking him to go for a walk, tell him you’d like to check out something he’s interested, like a museum or concert or whatever, but you’d feel better going with him there to guide you. It gets him out of the house and might give an ego boost as he’s able to share something he’s passionate about with someone he loves)
• Celebrate even the small victories. When your husband is able to do those small chores you mentioned, show him that you understand how hard it was for him and that you appreciate his effort. Try to align these with his “love language”, be that words of affirmations, gifts, or whatever. But when he can’t, while it will probably feel frustrating, try not to let him see that, and instead meet him with that same compassion and understanding

I wish you the best of luck, it’s not easy for anyone, but like I said, your husband is a lucky man to have someone so loving at his side.

$14/hour? Not likely, 20 states are still at the federal minimum of $7.25/hour, and only like 7 are at $14 or higher.

Lump that together with the massive stigma about hiring people who spent time in prison, the shit education and/or training most incarcerated people receive and they’ll be lucky to get two minimum wage jobs to barely squeak by.

The U.S. never abolished slavery, they just gave it a makeover and called it justice.

I recall seeing NPC faces a lot more in game than I saw my own PCs face, even with helmets hidden, but it’s very likely that is just confirmation bias on my part, since I invested nothing into the PC appearance, so nothing stuck.

But that doesn’t discount your point, and of all the games I could have named, BG3 is probably the worst example.

That’s a fair point, someone took the time to code those aspects of the game, and if it adds to your enjoyment and engagement with the game, more power to you, it’s just not for me.

Thanks for replying, it does give some context to why my friend enjoys those parts of the game.

My friend was shocked to hear I spent about 10 seconds in the character creator in BG3 and exactly 0 seconds concerned with dying my armor to match whatever theme.

I just don’t see the appeal, it’s not like I see the character’s face all the time, and I’m constantly swapping armor around for different situations.

I’d rather be playing the game than spending ages on making my character look a certain way just to never actually see them in game for more than a split second on screen during conversations.

“Go for the eyes, Boo!”

Can we please start using this photo of him for every article?

I’m in a similar boat, Spanish degree from college, but learning Portuguese now, and I’ve found that kids programming like Sesasme Street (Rua Sésamo) is really great for getting some fundamentals. They tend to speak slower, avoid idioms and focus on foundational parts of the language. And the good thing is, you can find all 30ish episodes of Rua Sésamo on YouTube

Edit: Rua Sésamo is European Portuguese, if you want Brazil, then Vila Sésamo is what you’re looking for (or simply Sésamo)

Oh here’s a fun fact: You made out with your sister!

I think he can pull it off, he had a fairly neutral accent in LoTR and the Riddick movie, and he’s definitely got the cockiness

Maybe a retcon or multiverse thing like the recent game? Or flashbacks, who knows with games-based movies.

But I think you missed the most important part of that entire list where is said Karl Urban as Johnny Fucking Cage

As someone who biked year round while at college in Wisconsin, congrats on making it with minimal falling, it’s not easy.

Echoing what someone else said, sometimes you just need to hop off the bike and walk it for a little.

Very nice, love some Vulfpeck!

The Madison Square Garden concert (the full video, not the album edit) is one of my all time favorites. If you haven’t seen it, it’s on their YouTube channel.

This actually reminds me of an incident in high school.

One of the teachers was younger and pretty cool, and one day we were told there would be a substitute later that week, but the teacher wanted to help us mess with the sub, so instead of Literature class that day, we practiced humming at a super low volume to make the sub question their hearing, gracefully dropping pencils and books at opportune times, etc.

Well the day finally came, and sufficed to say we failed at being discreet and the sub got pretty pissed at us. The scheduled lesson was abandoned, and instead we were told to write a short essay about how we should behave in class and the lessons we should be focused on.

Well it was high school lit, so we were reading some books that had adult themes and things, and some of the kids wrote that we were learning how to identify prostitutes (some character had a different woman visit all the time) or how to murder or whatever.

The next week the teacher was back, and because of our shenanigans and the essay content, we heard that they basically had to fight to keep their job, and damn did we all feel like fucking idiots after that.

I still think about that teacher from time to time. I hope they’re doing ok.

That Tasigur alt literally broke me for a minute. Holy crap is that amazing

Ah, that’s why, I’m just a boring casual on the public releases

Yea, I would talk to your IT dept, this is just lazy, when I was managing we at least set it to [usernames] phone

Wait really? How have I missed this? I’ll have to comb the settings when I sober up

I’m mean, would “Get to the choppa!” have been any better?

Goddammit, I just realized this says fewture request. That’s what I get for posting while drinking…