I'm the last one to disagree with you about that. I have a large dog and go to great strides to make sure she behaves, and we're actively working on issues she has, as she's still very young. But other people who are or have been dog owners routinely try to introduce bad habits to her or guilt me for not allowing them -- no, I'm not going to teach the 75 pound dog to beg for food at the table.
The reason I posted what I did was because the OP gave very specific situations (i.e. going over to someone's house and having to watch their things/food, having to stop what they're saying) that implied to me that perhaps someone in their life is a poor dog owners, and that's 100% just cause to have less to do with them. If they're not comfortable because their dog is ill-behaved, then they have every right to not be in that situation. My grandmother had a poorly behaved dachshund that she thought was terribly cute, but bit me and multiple relatives, multiple times. I stopped seeing her as much because her dog was a nightmare.
Perhaps I’m reading into it, but it sounds like the majority of your exposure is with someone(s) who is a poor dog owner and lets their dogs do whatever they like. Which is isn’t to invalidate your discomfort, but I wonder if you wouldn’t have a better time of things if 70%(or w/e) of your exposure to dogs wasn’t dealing with extreme misbehavior, and therefore it wouldn’t be at the forefront of your mind.
Best wishes on a swift recovery from your head trauma/brain tumor/etc.
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