Team, we've been reviewing some of history's most successful large-scale projects for inspiration, and the data is clear! The absolute best results came from teams who believed their CEO was literally a god.
While we can't quite arrange that, we've found the next best thing!
After a productive meeting, we've received a special clarification directly from the Vatican! Turns out, Colossians 3:23 ("Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord") is now considered binding corporate policy.
So, effective immediately, hitting your quarterly goals is a direct path to salvation. Slacking off... well, let's just say the paperwork for eternal damnation is a real hassle for everyone involved.
To: All Staff
From: HR
Subject: EXCITING new partnership!
Team, we've been reviewing some of history's most successful large-scale projects for inspiration, and the data is clear! The absolute best results came from teams who believed their CEO was literally a god.
While we can't quite arrange that, we've found the next best thing!
After a productive meeting, we've received a special clarification directly from the Vatican! Turns out, Colossians 3:23 ("Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord") is now considered binding corporate policy.
So, effective immediately, hitting your quarterly goals is a direct path to salvation. Slacking off... well, let's just say the paperwork for eternal damnation is a real hassle for everyone involved.
Let's get to work, saints!