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1,751
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2 yr. ago

  • No, the shape hinders putting the far enough into your mouth. Luckily, I've got a big one.

    Wait...

  • Well if you know your choices are "definitely go to prison for something you didn't do and either die in prison or come out a completely different person, out of time." or "trial by combat, maybe death, maybe freedom" I know which one I would choose.

    Especially if I know my accuser knows they're lying and it's not just a misunderstanding.

  • All I've seen in response is "hurr wouldn't happen without US military industrial complex"

    I've been missing that one.

    Which just tells me you're right, no response to this so they default back to old rhetoric.

  • Huh. TIL Ryan Reynolds and Scarlett Johannson were married.

  • I'm so grateful for the FEARLESS law enforcement keeping TERRORISTS off our street and keeping CHILDREN SAFE from MUSIC

    ... Do I need the /s?

  • Huh. When I get asked about mine, I'm very up-front about all of it.

    Weird.

  • He said "communications platforms" not "misinformation, social engineering, and mass data collection platform masquerading as a social media platform"

  • So my nephew was talking mad shit the other day about gymnastics and how it's "not a sport" and it's "for weak girls".

    I asked him "If it's so easy, why don't you go do a couple flips and prove how easy it is?"

    His sister answered saying "Last time he tried that he broke his foot!" and started laughing.

    My nephew immediately glared at us and started crying.

    Russia acts like my 10 year old nephew.

  • "Kamala" is hard to pronounce, yet they never had a problem with "Barack Hussein Obama pause for the scary middle-eastern/Islamic-sounding name to sink into racist audience"

    And I love when Palin got called out directly for that and she backpedaled so hard, trying to make it sound like they always do that with everyone and started rattling off republican full names like that made a single bit of difference...

    Can we get a truth-o-meter to scrutinize all candidates during debates like they do in futurama?

  • Imagine the world we would live in if the dark ages never happened...

  • I have a bronze coin I made about 6 years ago. It's been handled by more people than I can count, but it sits for months in a box in my garage.

    It still looks very much like bronze, just slightly darker in the crevices.

    This just looks like piss poor electroplating.

  • Their crocodile tears just make them look more like the children they detest every day.

    Sidenote: the phrase "your boos mean nothing, I've seen what makes you cheer" is getting overused, but like.... It's just so fitting how can you not use it.

  • Various agencies and companies leaving their garbage and shit in LEO genuinely confuse me.

    Are they imagining that they will somehow be immune the the issues of Kessler syndrome?

    Do they assume someone else will solve that problem for them before it becomes a problem?

    Or are they just completely stupid and don't understand the problem in the first place?

  • There's a lot that's left out, but I only have so many hours in a day...

  • Legitimately if someone said "it's better than the shelter no matter what" I'd tell them "okay then, you're coming home with me. Every night I will kick you because you're slightly too slow for my liking and in my way. Every morning I will forget to feed you because I don't really care about you. I might give you my leftovers after dinner. No lunch because you only get two meals a day. Forgotten breakfast included. I will also tie you outside in 95 degree heat for a week and only fill your water every other day because I misplaced my shoe and blamed it on you. When you get sick, I'm just going to break your leg and leave you in the woods." and tell them not to complain because at least they aren't in a shelter.

    If that isn't the end of the discussion, then [REDACTED]

  • Pill shape matters not.

    Size, on the other hand... Fuck large pills, I'd rather take 5 small ones than 1 large one.

  • on?

    I am Transporter Room 3. Or I might just be an amalgamation of all the consciousnesses Chief O'Brien has stored in the pattern buffer uhhhh beamed up.... Yeah beamed up.

    You'd be surprised how much silver is in a transporter though. Vampires just slide right out.

  • Kids

    Jump
  • Oh look, it's buzz-Killington.

    "Not on this planet... yet."

    Or if you want to go full crash course, "For now, but that hasn't always been the case and might not be in another million years" and explain things like Oxygen Collapse/Great Oxygenation during the proterozoic when oxygen levels first shot up and killed off a ton of oxygen-hating things.

  • Oh, you're one of those.

    "oh I'm so special because I dislike/don't care for the popular thing"

    You are the embodiment of the "stop having fun" meme

  • Legitimately would invite them to chill with me on the porch. I'm not inviting them in though

    Vampires ain't gonna trick me a third time.