IPhone or no phone at all? Ok, you have your wish. No phone.
I don't know what the numbers are but I haven't gone back minus the occasional google search that pulls up a Reddit post in the results. Even then, I use my browser without logging in.
Why does everything need to be a snap?
Sorry you had to go down such a rough road. Opening a relationship to polyamory from a rocky place rarely if ever works.
It will take time to find your community but keep at it. Once you start finding like minded people you tend to get introduced to even more. Make sure to build friendships as well as romantic interests. It is helpful to be able to talk to people who have already walked down some of the same paths.
As for where to meet people, I found people with a combination of online dating and meets/munches. I rarely meet polyamorous people randomly where I live.
Partner can mean almost anything. It is a perfectly fine word to use.
I definitely used Lemmy a lot more today than I normally do. Sync for Lemmy is just so much more polished than everything else I have tried using to access Lemmy previously.