Someone went through and downvoted all my comments. Like way way back, after my letter to you all suggesting ways to help. Fuck your ex, seriously, what they did is awful. But I'm nothing like them and as it turns out nothing like many of you either. How I feel may not be anyone else's reality, but I should be able to express it. I should of course also accept the consequences for misunderstandings I cause and I have. I'm done. I'm copying my journals and fucking off. It's been mostly nice so no regrets. We're never all going to get along. I'm really sorry I reminded you of your ex though, that's fallen way below your expectations and I wish I could take that back somehow, but I can't. ciao bella and all the very best with your hunting for work and life in general.
I'm not, but this was a continuation of my journey's journal from the old dt. I like to publish to a small "normal" audience ie not preaching to the choir,. to gauge people's response. I got bullied by pilk, which is fucking typical. shut up woman, you're not entitled to point out how you're feeling and then two people suggesting maybe I'm of behaving like a teenage girl, see where I'm going here? Hey, how can we be more understanding and totally condescending at the same time, woman. You're irrational. Don't do that, men are talking, I know this was raise ire, Bacon was trying to be nice and my response to him was nice. But I'm not a black and white copy of a trans women in early transition. But people will use this whole exchange of an example of how trans girls and women just complain. So fuck it. I'll go before I really waste time getting worked up over things which aren't worth it. Taleya got shitty with me, (now blocked) and suggested in a pm, maybe what I'm going through is fucking with my head a bit. it's the complete opposite and the whole affair could have been ignored honestly . this is hardly my safe space or some haven, it's been quite ok, but the shine is off, people are behaving exactly like they did on reddit, all fucking talk and then brigading when called out for it. YOU on the other hand, have been nothing but aweseome. I like to write, but losing a space to journal is not a big deal at all. I'm kind of happy to be moving on. While it's sort of ok here, it's just another online forum with people from different walks of life. I'll find somewhere else. Thanks Seagoon, from way back you've been a gem <3
Thanks for asking and being considerate, but I'm off. So there's no real need to be more specific here, but this isn't too different to how I'd have responded to similar exchanges well before my transition. The transphobe won in the end, they can stop reading about the most wonderful journey I'm having. I hope they find a resolution to their bitterness. I thank YOU, Bacon for all of your breakfasts and more so for reaching out earlier in the year when reddit went cold. It's not personal, I just leave places when I stop enjoying them and I've stopped enjoying this place.
Also, I do understand that I'm probably in the wrong today, I'm happy to admit that emotional outbursts are not commonplace here and the mood is generally pretty light. So apologies to anyone who took offense. It's difficult being marginalised and that didn't begin with being trans, I've been teased for one reason or another most of my life. Too smart, ginger, alternative, queer, small, outspoken, activist and now trans. I'm kind of used to it, it's made me resilient and to know when enough is enough also. I'll miss some of the people and wish everyone the best honestly and I hope I haven't discouraged anyone from being good to my community. I am an active member of a group who only want good outcomes for us all and my volunteer work has had tangible results today. I'm not upset or annoyed, but there are descrepencies in the way bigotry is dealt with online. It's definitely very less of an issue on this forum.
So long, and thanks for the all the fish.
Leave it out will ya? ffs. everyone is a freaking expert. caio everyone and have a nice life. getting annoyed with the bullying now. I'll journal somewhere else.
I'm not angry with anyone here. Just left feeling alienated. The mods have been great. I think my point is valid and I'm definitely not the only trans person who feels like this. This was my original point about allies made kinda clear, many of feel like this honestly. I understand and stated I understand most people are already at capacity. But just getting people's pronouns right while nice and respectful isn't doing much either and we've had to fight for that. I can't keep bitching here though, this whole exchange has made me realise I don't care for this place as much I once did. The fact is I'm the only person who is openly talking about being trans here and someone keeps downvoting ONLY my content. See above.
I'm not frightened, I refuse to live in fear of bigots. I don't agree with what you've written. I have a right to vent here too. If you were targeted you too would ne left feeling alienated if you felt no one could bother to respond. And almost no one has.
I get that totally, thanks hun. Fuck that person in particular. I too fear a lot of what I should be able to call safe spaces. ie smith st. My abusers party there a lot.
Someone said "we want to help, how can we help?" I posted a quite thorough explanation of how to help but heard nothing back. I'm allowed to post my reaction to that. But now I'm the arsehole? I expected at least some discourse honestly.
So I got a lot of upvotes for my request for you all to help the many organisations ready willing and able to accept your support. But no comments. Someone has downvoted a lot of comments, like gone through my profile clicking. I mean it's very petty but this is the crap we endure and it's often after tv programs like the one which aired the other night. I won't reference it but my family members watched and it was a bit of a witch hunt. Now I have to waste time I should be chilling out in writing about it, challenging the garbage with family.
Racism gets squashed and called out for very good reason, but transphobes are allowed "an opinion" and people do not much to help. Getting my pronouns right will not help my friend obtain full time work. Being an "ally" means fighting alongside us in my opinion. The organisations will have much more measured dialogue, but I don't represent any of them. I volunteer with one of them, but I'm not allowed to speak on their behalf and am not bound by the same codes of ethics their paid staff are. I can't change this thing about myself any more than someone can change their heritage. Would you call someone out for saying disparaging things about a Yinnar man with very pale skin like one of my friends?
It's a serious issue world wide and people calling themselves "allies" just comes across as them feeling sorry for us a lot of the time. People still think we have a choice in the matter but the reality is you either allow yourself the incredible personal honesty required in the face of discrimination or you slowly die. 37% of young transgender people have attempted suicide, that's just the young ones who have been surveyed. but many many of us spend years thinking about it before diagnosis. Ask me how I know?
So, no one commented on my post about helping my community. I think I gave very clear options. Is everyone just going to sit on their hands? Plenty of upvotes but you see why I say people are all talk. I give people options to make a real difference and it's crickets.
I'm not angry or disappointed and this is not attacking anyone, we all have capacities and I don't expect people to drop everything to help. I wish I didn't need to have to explain all this stuff, but I feel obligated to. And just so you're aware, I was a volunteer being realising I was trans. I recognised something needed to be done and stepped up. I'm done, I have to go to work. Thx for reading... especially my downvoter, wasting your time is a privilege.
What happens if you drop your phone and it's cactus. I didn't tap for years either cos I tend to lose things.
Yep. I bought my house did all the paperwork etc, completely stoned to the eyeballs. It was to resist the feeling of growing up. Getting sober and off weed makes me feel more like an adult, struggling to pay bills while trying to affirm my gender hmmm, feels like adulting. Seeing a therapist, hmmmm, undecided on that one. I could have used one as a kid.
I have to put my card in even for the small change I need to do laundry as visa debit won't allow cash withdrawal for some reason.
Okay, been a little quiet for reasons.
I've been waiting for this to go live to get back about how you can help. This is one way. https://transjustice.org.au/
Support the trans justice project. I suggest this as they seem really well organised and this project is happening now.
You could also suggest the company you work for do inclusivity training, Transgender Victoria offer what I understand to the best of this. https://tgv.org.au/training
Of course, there are many organisations you can donate to or volunteer with who support and or advocate for trans, gender diverse, non binary and intersex people. As well as the two above organisations, there is
https://www.switchboard.org.au/
All of these utilise skills from a huge range of fields so pretty much anything you can do they can use. There are more too, but these are the one's I can vouch for. Unfortunately queer orgs are low on the list of many government support initiatives so many of these organisations really do need money and or volunteers to continue their work. I volunteer a couple of afternoons a week, the odd Saturday and then a little bit every day for my role. I suggest you support these organisations as working alone can be challenging and they know what they're doing. Apart from that, keep up the anti-discriminatory language vibe here, it's a big deal for me personally to feel supported and safe here. Mental health outcomes are poor for a lot of trans people and I have to actively work on mine by only living in safe spaces. We all ultimately have to advocate for ourselves too. Some people have a lot less capacity for that than I do though and this outlet here forms part of that capacity. <3
Thanks Nath, Rusty and the whole DT family. Like, a whole lot!!! <3
EDIT< A single tear just ran down my cheek and under my chin after I posted this. I'm ok!
Oh yeah, see what I mean about the downvotes? ffs.
lmao. it's all my posts now. wow. someone is reading, well done, you have no idea about the level of persistence I'm capable of.
yumm. my thumb and pinky are the only ones I can grow to any length. My personal favourite colour choice for reasons.
Honestly you peeps running this are amazing. thanks Nath, you have been more than patient with my drama than I deserve or expected. Thank you so much. edit no rush and as I said to Rusty, I'd just like to know if it is indeed all the same person and if they're a regular user. If it's just me paranoid great. Hope it's not too much of a stress.
Thanks Nath, I really really appreciate that, yeah they chose the colours according to their branding. I'm kinda busy this evening and maybe later tonight depending on how many emails I get, but I'll send you through some details on how to help.
Thanks Rusty, I really appreciate your time in writing this response. I'd like to know if it is one person, not who it is and If you can do anything about telling them to stop. It's been going on since we all first started posting here and you'd be well aware of the lack of downvoting. But, I understand it's not simple as you've pointed out and I'm sure it's not really worth someone's time in the grand scheme of admin of this forum. I just wish if all my transition updates were making someone uncomfortable they'd say so. Or if someone was transphobic they'd just go right ahead and say so. I accept that those people exist. I don't think they're entitled to an opinion on scientific facts but others see things differently. How I behave here and in the real world are different as well. We all have guidelines here we must adhere to. People questioning their gender and finding it difficult for example may find my generally very positive experiences with it challenging. I've encountered that a bit actually. Its easy to rush to the must be a transphobic loser scenario, but I'm across a lot of trans issues as well. Envy is real as well all just want to find some happiness and if others are having it seemingly better is can cause an amount of jealousy.
So look, for now, I'll bear it. It's my choice to stay if I choose and you've answered my questions, so thanks heaps! Thank heck we have good mods here.
Thanks heaps for that, great resource of a bunch of stuff I already knew and a bunch of stuff I don't know and can check out. I refer people to these types of places often in my volunteer work, so it's really helpful to me for a bunch of reasons... <3
I try and live in the positivity of my transition. Being trolled is bad. People being cunts is bad. I avoid the places where cunts are allowed to do so. And I know I'm appreciated here, but I have a lot of great things I want to live in and naturally leave shitty situations, for better or worse. Resilience i have in droves, but it's pointless trying to force shit uphill too.
