QuizzaciousOtter @ QuizzaciousOtter @lemmy.dbzer0.com

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110

Joined

6 mo. ago

So I struggle with something similar and it turns out it's because I'm autistic. Maybe you are neurodivergent too? If you decide to consider this idea, I recommend to check out content where neurodivergent people talk about their condition. I would never consider I might be autistic just using descriptions by neurotypicals, the difference is huge.

Now, about your actual question... I don't really have a perfect solution. I personally use marijuana. I usually plan the time to take a break from all the projects and learning at the end of the day. I make sure all the important chores are already taken care of. Weed definitely does help but I see how it's far from a perfect solution. Ideally, you wouldn't rely on any external substance for your wellbeing.

Many people recommend meditation as a way to regain control of racing thoughts. I was never able to make that work though. Whenever I try I just start working on one of my projects in my head...

Good luck!

I mean, I am applying various kinds of science but I'm not actually doing any science so I'm not thinking about myself as a scientist. What I do is solving problems - I'm an engineer.

Yeah, I think you might be onto something.

Though you have to be kinda self-cenetered to think that the delivery person would give a single damn about how much pizza you ordered...

Am I missing something? Empty house and pizza sounds like a perfect evening to me.

That was the plan but honestly I don't think I can right now. It's kinda hard to explain, I'm also not sure at all whether I fully understand my own feelings about this. The part of me that doesn't even want any relationship is the rational and logical part. The same part thought that being friends is on the table. But the emotional part just screams that it's all or nothing.

Anyway, even just considering the fact that I was perfectly content with my life for years prior to this meeting, and the meeting sent me on a rollercoaster of emotions I haven't felt in years, I don't think it's very reasonable to continue this thing.

Thanks for commenting. Responding to people here helps me organize my thoughts.

The funny thing is that sex isn't even a part of the equation here, not on the conscious level at least. Sex is not what I want from her. But yeah, what you wrote still stands true. Brain chemistry doesn't care.

Usually I pride myself on being a very logical person. Losing control of emotions is very out of character for me and it's kind of a shock.

The direct cause of the breakup was her infidelity. To be frank, I don't hold any resentment for her. If I did, I wouldn't want to meet her in the first place. We were both immature as fuck back then.

There's a lot of discrepancies in how we want to live our lives and in our needs. She wants to travel, explore, meet people, etc. I prefer comfortable routine and deep focus on my hobbies and passions. She needs someone who will give her quite a lot of attention, will do all these things with her. I need a lot of alone time.

In fact, the biggest problem is that I don't even want to be in a relationship. For the most part I love being single. I love being completely independent and in control of my life. I love my routines and my hobbies.

I mean, I know this doesn't even make any sense. I don't want a relationship so what do I even want? After meeting her I feel like I need her in my life. It's obviously not a rational feeling and frankly, probably not a healthy one too. It also sets off alarms in my head because when we were together I became much too dependent on her.

All those intense feelings aside, I think she's just a very intelligent and valuable person. I love talking with her and there are quite a few things we enjoyed doing together. Add to that my preference for being single and that's why I thought we could be just friends. But apparently she works quite literally like a drug on me. Makes me lose control of my emotions and grip on reality.

Ok, I think I'm just rambling at this point. Thanks for asking the question though. Writing about your feelings is a form of therapy I guess.

We did both grow but unfortunately I don't think it makes our relationship any more realistic.

I feel that last part. Recently I ran into a colleague with his wife (whom I never met). I said "hi" but tried to look like I'm in hurry and just kept going because I have no fucking clue how to deal with that situation.

As a huge NixOS enthusiast I wholeheartedly agree with you. It works amazing for me but only because my autistic ass hyperfixated on it to the point of tinkering with it every afternoon for months.

I would love to be able to recommend NixOS to people but unfortunately, the lack of good documentation is a huge problem.

Unfortunately it exists in Poland too.

LSB and RSB are so much better in my opinion. They actually have meaning so you don't have to remeber an arbitrary number.

They could choose any name other that L3 and R3 though.

R1, R2 and R3 are endlessly confusing to me. I still mix them up sometimes after over a year of owning PS5. It makes no sense that they aren't in any order! It should be 1 - trigger, 2 - bumper, 3 - stick or in reverse. In order in the top - down axis.

Thanks for the answer!

Thanks for the answer! This sounds terryfing indeed. By bootstrapping, do you mean like an initial mass build without anything in store?

This post exactly expresses my thoughts from some months ago. However, I wasn't motivated enough to actually post it. Thanks for reading in my mind and asking that for me, I appreciate it.

Could you say a bit more about that? I was actually wondering about the exact same thing as OPs question. Is the performance so bad that it doesn't even make sense to consider this as an option? Idk, just like OP I feel like it's such an obvious use case that it really should be a thing.

UHT milk would be fine though, if it wasn't opened before.

I absolutely prefer cold milk over room temperature one, but I also have a friend who straight up refuses to drink cold milk. So I would say this is not entirely unreasonable.

Why I am arguing with a meme? IDK, I'm high. Peace!

Wow, this is so fucking pretty! Unfortunately, I don't really have a need for local music files player, but I love it.