Listen to music I was into in my teens & twenties and sing out loud. Cook grub. Clean the flat. Read books on couch and go to sleep early. Probably start a project that will be left unfinished on the table. Enjoy the peace & quiet. Then walk around talking to myself and get annoyed for being lonely and bored.
We've spent the morning cleaning and organizing the cottage for winter. About to leave home soon. Fixed the porch yesterday and picked up funnel chanterelles and lingonberries. We've had a couple nights with minus degrees so berries were a bit mushy, but I'm planning to cook jam from them, so it shouldn't matter. But I must say I haven't used "old" lingonberries in jam before so we'll see how it turns out. 😅
Fortunately no, it's a family place so only partially ours. But losing this retreat that is within a reasonable driving distance from home would be a pity anyways.
We live in Finland now so yup, would have to move. I've always wanted to live abroad, for a while at least, so it would be nice to have that opportunity, but myself I really don't like big cities so I'm worried how that would turn out. But it's not certain yet and probably I shouldn't get ahead of myself!
I was accepted to both those courses I applied to so had to make a decision which one to pick. I chose the more practical one which starts already next week. I'm super nervous about it and having a hard time calming down and not overthinking everything. And as if this wasn't stressful enough my SO just found out about a position opening in Berlin and they'd have a good chance of being accepted for transfer - it's something they've been dreaming of, so I encourage them. Heck, why does everything always happen at the same time?!
We are going to the cottage for the weekend and I hope picking mushrooms (if there's any left) and being in nature will help with this stress...
Stomach issues here as well. Yesterday I had 2 interviews to courses I applied to and it was really stressful, I think after the recent burnout my system doesn't deal with stress well and whenever something even mildly draining happens I feel sick and my stomach aches. Otherwise it has been a really gray day here, I biked a bit to see some second hand stores but didn't find anything, the prices are so high nowadays and quality of stuff is low. I guess people just sell their used stuff online.
Excited to wake up to a new day, slightly confused, a bit of a hassle going on but there are some friendly faces around and I get to help those people fend off a dragon, everybody seems to be expecting great things of me!
...some months later I've lost the track of my life, no idea where I should be going, a long to-do list in the pocked I am sneak-archering through yet another draugr-filled cave, later I go pick up flowers and delivering notes instead of focusing on the big and important goals, what were they anyways? I seem to have ridden on this side path for too long and really need to find direction for my life. Everyone is waiting for me to save the day after all! I'll just finish this one small thing and get to it --
Excited to wake up to a new day, slightly confused, a bit of a hassle going on but there are some friendly faces around and I get to help those people fend off a dragon, everybody seems to be expecting great things of me!
Be me at 15, obviously depressed, mom: "I'm worried about you hanging out with (my partner at that time), they wear black and are weird, it seems like they are bad company for you!". Me at 35, still struggling with mental health problems and having recently got an ADHD diagnosis w/ autism traits, been to psychotherapy for 3 years because of trauma-related depression and anxiety, yet mom goes: "it must be the guy you hang around with in your teens!" (And has nothing to do with the trauma of being neglected as a child and raised by undiagnosed neurodivergent parents with their own traumas, as well as having lived with undiagnosed AuDHD and dealing with the consequences).
So damn that weird guy who wore black! I wish I had known better! Also can't be AuDHD, probably just want to use drugs or something, everyone has those same problems anyways! And they aren't really problems either, just similar to her "personal traits" or could be that I'm just not trying hard enough!
Caturday you mean! No cartoons here, some crosswords and brick laying at the smoke sauna. Hopefully we'll be able to finish the sauna stove brick work tomorrow!
This weekend I was at a chainsaw sculpting course, it was nice but exhausting. Today I decided to leave early because yesterday a full day of learning and stressing over things left me completely drained. Leaving was a good decision as I have some energy left for other things, like organizing the garage.
I've made sculptures before but haven't really sculpted (as in removing material). It is fricken difficult! My perfection + impatience if I'm not instantly good at something don't help at all. But I'm happy to have finally used a chainsaw!
My thought exactly, the following thought: is it made by Makita 🤣 (Makita is known for their high quality battery powered tools but they also make a whole bunch of other stuff that uses the same batteries like coffee makers etc)
I've slept kinda bad the last few nights and now I feel like a zombie. My burnout definitely isn't over yet even though I kinda planned it would be... 😅 I guess you can't schedule a burnout recovery after all! I have 2 events this evening I was going to go to but we'll see if that'll happen. Would be nice to go as they are related to voluntary work which I'm getting into (red cross stuff). I find it hard to understand which things energize and which exhaust -often it can be both- and it seems there's always a big delay which makes anticipating even more difficult.
Last night I took my SO to visit this environmental art piece "Up and Under" by Nancy Holt. We walked around and had some tea, it was nice. I like the place. The municipality recently restored the structures as it had gotten in rough shape over the years. A few weeks ago an electronic music event was organized there, it's great that the place can finally be used for such! I didn't get to visit the show unfortunately but I heard it was cool!
Would be nice to experience some of Holt's other pieces, but most of them are in the US.
Pspspspspsps!