Everything seems impossible until you do it. Don't sell yourself short, or you'll always be dependent on someone -- instead of just wanting to be around someone. You may want to look into attachment styles. Good luck.
My absolute favorite is primitive technology. I can turn that on and just lose hours. No dialogue, marginal sound effects.
My friend, I feel for you. This is a very difficult situation. However, at the core of it is a decision you have to make, but only you can make it.
Is your partner more important to you than your identity?
The parent comment in this subthread seems to imply that filing first in a legal action is advantageous in that you're more likely to win or get what you're after. That has not been my experience, but I'd be curious to know if there is better than anecdotal data to back up that perspective.
Thanks for the detailed explanation, Lem-friend. So this means some people think lifting is pointless?