Have you tried using Redact? I just nuked my account and posts with no issue. My account was not banned, however. I like the feature that allows one to edit all comments and posts rather than just delete them. I replaced everything with a heartfelt message for u/spez...

Look up the Tushy 3.0 bidet. Costs less than 100USD, and connects to both hot and cold taps at the sink. No electricity for a heater and you get the warm bum treatment! I got one for each bathroom

Every bidet of the spraying upwards sort that I have used has a control to move the nozzle forward or back depending on your chosen... "target". In Italy, most home bidets were the type that are separate from the toilet and just have warn/cold taps.