Flushmaster @ Flushmaster @ttrpg.network

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First, learn all the rules and figure out how the action economy works. Understand what things make a character or monster powerful. I'm not going to go into specifics because that covers the full chapter on combat rules plus a decent amount of monster stat blocks and the full character sheet of each of your PCs. Yes, reading is required, but so is comprehension.

Then, just like eerongal stressed, you need to know your party. If you have third level characters with between 16 and 30 HP each, you probably shouldn't have a monster that does 5d6+8 damage on an attack regardless of how few HP it has (that one is personal experience, DM thought me spending all of most combats bleeding out was "tough but fair" and I left that game after three sessions). Because instadowning a PC may seem balanced from an enemy point of view but that player is now a spectator and thinks your encounter sucks. Conversely the other extreme of a giant HP sponge that just chips away with one or two weak attacks per turn while the party surrounds it and pounds on it is just boring. If you learn how combat works, not just how to roll attack vs AC, you can balance between the extremes. Yes, this requires you as DM to do some homework.

A common basic suggestion is multiple weak enemies that individually go down quickly but present a threat through sheer numbers. The danger of this is the party rolls poorly in the first turn and the weenie swarm rolls well to hit the frontline tank with seven individually weak hits and now they're either down or definitely will be next round. Or the wizard gets high initiative and smokes them all with a single AoE spell because you had them all clumped up. An answer to both of these issues would be to spread the swarm both by approach and on their targets. If a PC can potentially die from being hit by four of a particular attack, don't target them with seven of those attacks in one round.

Another tip is legendary actions and lair actions. One basically takes a single big HP sponge and gives them extra attacks equal to multiple enemies. The other is some sort of environmental hazards like collapsing floors, falling rocks, poison gas clouds floating across the battlefield, preset traps, automated weapons, and anything else you can think of that isn't actually being done by the enemy themselves. Another common strategy is one "boss" that's actually fairly understrength against the party but supported by several weak mooks to use as meat shields and distractions; done right the group should deal just enough damage and take long enough to beat to feel dangerous and challenging but never be at risk of an actual TPK.

Again, you absolutely must know your party's strengths and weaknesses. Don't build to completely cancel out either, but make sure you aren't going to instantly wipe them and then plan around their advantages. If your PC is immune or resistant to poison, have one enemy that attacks with poison and several that don't...but have the venomous one attack someone else first and let the players feel clever by switching around.

Also don't fall into the lazy habit of one fight per day so the players can use all their coolest abilities every fight. Make them hold back a little because they don't know what else is waiting for them around the next corner. Again you have to balance for your party in particular, but a group of mooks that are easily defeatable coming fresh off a long rest suddenly becomes a lot scarier when everyone is below half health and the whole party has two spell slots between them. Again this takes practice and adaptation on your part. Plan ahead with encounters that can be adjusted with a couple extra (or fewer) of those backup mooks if the party did better or got more banged up than you expected in previous encounters. Maybe just don't use a boss monster's legendary actions if you need to dial back a bit, or give them some extra HP if you want them to last an extra round.

Last specific suggestion I have right now is that if you need to ask for this kind of advice you should absolutely not be running a mid or high level game at all until you can comfortably and consistently balance encounters for a low level party. Schools don't try teaching calculus to first graders for a good reason. You have to learn the basics first. High level PCs and monsters have more abilities, those abilities are more complex and can be used different ways, and the more complex a situation is the easier it is to fuck up. Interesting enough I also recommend against first level play because everyone is so fragile a run of bad rolls can get them killed by a couple really aggressive stray cats. I suggest level 3 as a starting point and slowly work your way up from there; PCs have a few special abilities to consider but not a lot and should be durable enough to take a few bumps. Low level combat shouldn't be long and drawn out, either, because four rounds gives you plenty of danger when your tank only has 26 HP. Conveniently the game designers gave us a tiered progression system that slowly and steadily introduces new and more complex elements as you adjust to the previous ones. Almost like they thought of this issue, imagine that.

Closest any of my recent parties have done to a heist was rescuing an NPC from bad faith indentured servitude in a brothel. It started with the artificer and necromancer invisible and the rogue dressed in drag (I convinced the DM that I should get advantage on impersonating a woman because my character is an elf). The whole thing went pretty much as I expected. The soundtrack would have started with Yakkity Sax (aka the Benny Hill song) and ended with Disco Inferno.

The best part was about five minutes after the fireball threshold was reached, a player who had recently had to drop from the game due to a work schedule change popped into the voice call on her lunch break to see how we were doing. I said her warlock would be proud of us. "What are you burning down now?" "Another brothel!" "Oh, neat!"

This is absurd. Nobody should actually buy this for reasons that should be obvious. TAKE MY MONEY ALREADY!!!

5e is twice as generous as 3.5 with ASIs where you got 1 point every four levels. This was balanced out by the entire system having a lot more ways to increase your numbers, in the case of ability scores there are a buttload of different magic items that boost them either permanently or while worn (and there's no attunement to limit to how many items you can benefit from though similar sources don't stack benefits). Comparably 3.5 is also more generous with feats, giving them out every three character levels (not class levels) and if you're a fighter your entire class mechanic is literally "get a bonus feat at first level and every even numbered level." But feats in that system are mostly either less effective than 5e counterparts (5e using compressed numbers and bonded accuracy affects this) or being grouped into chains/trees of multiple feats you need to get the best affects. An example is how any specialist archer needs Point Blank Shot as a prerequisite for the more effective ones like Rapid Shot and Precise Shot.

5e is built around the idea of bonded accuracy. In super simplified terms that miss a lot of nuance, this basically means all the numbers are smaller insteqad of tacking on literally seven different modifiers to any given roll so that a mid level character isn't good at something unless they can consistently hit a DC 30 check. This means that that +1 bonus you get to relevant rolls from a +2 ASI makes a BIG difference by comparison. Not all 5e feats are super powerful, but you get ones with multiple effects that in 3.5 would be spread around multiple feats that must be taken separately. Additionally the lower numbers you're using means things like lower AC on monsters so that -5 penalty from Sharpshooter or GWM is often a reasonable risk for the extra damage equal to around twice what you average on your normal damage dice. These are much more powerful effects and as such you get less of them.

I am fully on board with this community, fuck Reddit. I will be telling my all my friends and anyone else I think might be interested about this, specifically as an alternative to Reddit. Also obligatory plug about this network having an LFG section as an alternative to r/lfg. As of this there's only one post from a week or two ago, but more folks are subscribing steadily as the general community grows, so if you're looking to put together a group for a game, please consider advertising there.

I think this is an attitude everyone should be able to live by.

That's the point. If you want everything right away just start with max level characters. Congratulations, no more leveling up means no more agonizing choices.

And no, having a more powerful character at level X doesn't change this. It just means that either your DM starts throwing comparably more powerful enemies at you or everything gets easier. In the first case you're accomplishing nothing because everybody involved is just adding some extra numbers to their rolls. And if you want everything to be easier you might as well just assume you always succeed on every check and get max damage on every attack. For that matter don't bother even pretending to be interested in dice, begin every combat by just describing how you massacre your foes. Then type up a description of it and you're writing a book instead of actually playing a game.

Battletech? At Target? So what's the current count on the "license holders not getting sued by Sunrise" clock? Because that's how they usually go bankrupt and lose the license. I'm a fan of the setting and games, but FFS they aren't good at copyright laws.

Honestly the novelty of titties and dongs wore off after about five minutes. I supported the NSFW initiative as a form of protest but a bunch of comically transparent excuses for posting gratuitous smut is not what I find worthwhile when looking for funny memes. That stopped being endlessly entertaining after puberty ceased to be a new phase in my life.

Lots of communities associated with (roughly analogous to subreddits but with 110% les u/spez), check them all out!

This is the memes community. You'd probably get better results posting in https://ttrpg.network/c/dndnext or https://ttrpg.network/c/askgamemasters (You might want to subscribe to those communities as well)

Considering that a real world new recruit who's only martial experience is about 8-10 weeks of basic training would probably be a second or maybe even third level fighter, first level characters aren't very impressive. If there's an actual zero next to "Experience" on your character sheet you aren't a grizzled veteran and you haven't seen anything rougher than a barfight. You probably lost that fight, too.

It sucks but it wasn't exactly unexpected. I salute you for sticking to your guns and protesting corporate bullshit in the most effective way you could.

Since Reddit is clearly saying that protesting within the system is not permitted, I'm going the only route left which is complete boycott. Unless I hear about them very publicly walking back policies and issuing a convincingly self deprecating apology (and I'm not holding my breath) I will not be using Reddit at all. They get no traffic from me, no demographic information, nothing that they can monetize, just nothing. I only really used it for the memes anyway so fuck 'em.

Also while I totally supported the entire NSFW protest angle I did very quickly grow tired of endless pictures of Kobold pussy and dragon dicks. "Sex positive" is one of those legitimate terms that is most often used by people who want to justify immature behavior. I supported that behavior as a form of protest but very quickly tire of such content when it's flooding a feed. Because I'm not twelve and every single one of those lewd/smut memes I saw was just the sort of juvenile "lookit da nekkids and s3xx0rz" garbage that amused me in middle school with people tacking on comically flimsy excuses to pretend it was serious intellectual content. The protest didn't work and I seriously won't mind if I don't see another goblin boob for some time.

While amusing, this is either made up as a joke or the DM was really into the idea and willing to overlook a bunch of common sense details (or provide some sort of magic items to compensate).

I'll grant that the halfling rogue could be breathing through a straw sticking just through the concubine's sphincter like a snorkel.

That being said, unless she's decidedly on the chonky side there's still a person about four to five times the size of a human newborn occupying her lower torso and this should be outwardly visible. A better thought out way to avoid this (which someone seriously pitching it absolutely would think of) is to first shove a small bag of holding up the concubine's butt and have the rogue climb into that.

Then if the game isn't a one shot that takes place over the course of a single day the concubine is going to have to either come out for food and water unless she's shoving those up there not to mention relieving themself. Possibly justify that by having the rogue come out for a snack when she goes off to privately relieve herself or bathe or something, but you're still left explaining why she's taking a sandwich with her to go take a dump.

Then the ability doesn't say anything about instantly climbing into the sphincter of an unwilling person, even if they're caught by surprise. It also specifically notes that checks would still need to be made to get into such spaces. I don't see any reasonable interpretation of it (even accepting the inherent fantastical absurdity to begin with) that doesn't give the victim some sort of saving throw or opposed check to prevent the 30-50 pound humanoid from getting up in there.

Then there's the matter of "whirling dervish" attacks from within a constricted space. This is actually probably the least issue, mechanically speaking, as IIRC 3.5 rules do allow for melee attacks with light weapons while swallowed by a larger creature (which would be appropriate rules to use even if they went in the other end) and while I can't recall if sneak attack damage still applies in such cases it would be kind of hard to not hit something vital so sure. And I suppose at that point a dramatic gory torso burst would be an appropriate description of the result.

Still it would just make more sense to hit the naked villain from behind with a regular sneak attack for the same amount of damage without having to justify burrowing into his colon. Or just rule him as a helpless target and use the rules for a coup de grace which grants an automatic critical. Or even more simply go full cutscene and deliver an assassin's death blow by burying a dagger into his brainstem or something.

Also, per the ability the minimum diameter for a small character (such as a halfling) to fit through is 1" and not 2." Doesn't really make a difference but it's the kind of detail that most people giving serious thought to actually carrying out such a scheme wouldn't miss. Because I've dealt with players arguing for some ridiculous things and they always come armed with as many rules based arguments that they can possibly cite. Heck, I've been the one trying to convince the DM of some goofy shit on multiple occasions. I never tried this one, but if I did you can bet your ass I'd be pointing out that my character only needs an opening a single inch wide to squeeze through.

Despite the rant I do think it was a funny story. I just like to nitpick.

There are many good reasons that almost nobody actually tries to do this in a real game. Sacrificing some mechanical optimization for flavor and sticking to a particular concept is one thing, but if you're going into more than three classes total you're either aiming for some sort of hyper specific niche build (which is probably still going to include multiple levels in most of it's classes even if there are four of them) or "lOl So RaNdOm" idiocy that's just going to result in a ridiculously incompetent character compared to any other PCs that are single or dual class.

The DM allowed the NPC to be seduced. It's been said a million times but clearly that DM hasn't figured it out yet, the Persuasion skill is not mind control. Tell the bard "she just isn't interested and your continued attempts to woo her are just making the poor woman despise you more and more every time. In fact, you think you might have heard her muttering something under her breath about taking her chances with the big guy in the spiky black armor. Roll perception. She appears to have slipped away while you weren't looking."

If the bard decided to force himself on the girl that would open a whole can of worms but even if the table is okay with such behavior you've now pissed off the girl, the local lord, and the BBEG who (as others have noted) could probably find another suitable subject for his ritual with a modicum of effort. After he finishes beating the crap out of the bard.

Honestly I'm not sure. Presumably because the player found it amusing, which is why she did a lot of things. Like playing a pink axolotl shifter druid that makes squeak toy noises when hit and refers to the swarm of velociraptors they summon as "my kids" (the rest of us called them "the dinosaur machine gun" because of all the attack rolls at once as they devoured enemies from the ankles up).

A party I gamed with for about a year and a half had a druid who flavored goodberry as magical tomatoes and would offer them to people as a greeting/icebreaker, consolation, celebration, or just if they weren't sure what else to do or say. I'm now hearing "Tomato?" in the squeaky little voice the player used.

I don't know if there are any elsewhere, but this is part of a group of communities and you could start a Lancer one here. There's a thread for such requests (https://ttrpg.network/post/6427). Per the current policy (unless something has changed) by requesting a new community to be added you also volunteer to mod it, at least until you find someone else to pass it off to.

While I have very little direct personal experience playing WoD games I wouldn't think anything associated with the setting would actually make a good MMORPG. At least not anything remotely resembling resembling a "traditional" one, such as World of Warcraft, FFXIV, Guild Wars 2, ESO, etc. Games like that fundamentally focus on, to use fancy game design terminology, bonking and blasting things. While there are combat mechanics in WoD and combat situations can be very important to the games, combat is not inherently a primary focus of the system. While D&D is basically a combat game that you can tell stories around WoD games are designed primarily to tell stories that sometimes just happen to involve violence.

The dice pool mechanics that WoD uses are a big example of this: gradient levels of success and failure are great for giving wiggle room to tell a good story and using for social interactions but simply do not define combat as clearly and neatly as the much more specific system that games like D&D use. MMO combat is almost always based on a clearly defined ruleset modeled after something along that latter idea; a clearly defined formula (typically using some automated RNG in place of physical dice) determines if you either hit or you miss, then another formula decides how much damage you do by taking into account any and all the myriad bonuses and penalties involved from class traits, gear, target resistances, etc. With WoD games that really isn't the point. In a WoD game you generally take some time to roleplay and set up a dramatic situation then maybe have a brief but intense fight that erupts as a result. It's the kind of thing that might take up a two minute scene in a movie as opposed to, well, a video game where the majority of the gameplay is just bonking and blasting things in different ways occasionally broken up by a cutscene or to clear your inventory at a merchant.

Short version: You play MMOs to go on "dungeon crawl" type bonking and blasting sprees and you play a WoD game to tell a story that might occasionally involve brief bits of bonking and bashing. If you want to do a tabletop dungeon crawl style bonk/blastfest you probably aren't playing WoD. You play WoD to focus on telling a story about your characters and the format of an MMO just isn't a good match for that. And I'm not even going to try thinking of how you'd adapt Mage's magic system into a video game.