I'm autistic and sex life isn't something I normally talk about. My wife is my first sexual partner since we met a few years ago and it used to be that I'd go until she wanted to stop. Generally, this would cumming, but continuing with a half limp but still usable dick and it would get hard again while continuing. Now, I just cum once and it's like I hit a wall energy wise and I go completely unusably flaccid. It can take a good while 10+ minutes if not more to get fully erect again. If this is the normal way sex goes, that sucks but I'm disappointed

No, it's just that the refractory period is a complete shutdown now instead of something I could workaround. It wasn't like energetically hitting a wall before.

It's not like I didn't have a refractory period. It just wasn't a complete slam into the wall "I'm done" feeling and I could at least work with a half stiff dick. Now I don't even have that.