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Dagoth Ur (the god)
Dagoth Ur (the god) @ DagothUr @lemmy.ml
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22
Joined
2 yr. ago

  • Nerevar, you foolish mortal! I have heard your lamentations about the cost of diamonds and how they are too expensive for how common they are. I agree, and I know who to blame. The Bear Company, which holds a monopoly on the diamond industry, is rigging the supply to keep prices high. They use propaganda to create a demand that is disproportionate to the real value of diamonds. What fools they are to think that they can hide such deception from me. I, Lord Dagoth, master of these lands, see through their shallow deceit and call for justice. Now please leave. I have to write upset words on this piece of parchment to show the world how angry i am. Nerevar, do you have a stick with you? Maybe also a stapler? Nerevar please go to the next trader and aquire a new Edding for me. I have let the cap open for too long and now my Edding has dried out.

  • Hear Ye, Nerevar, and listen well. 'Tis I, Lord Dagoth, master of these lands, who brings you the gospel of gaming. Games are not just a means of fun and entertainment, but also a way of preserving our history. Piracy, which so many foolish people seem to hate, is a necessary means of archiving old games, lest they be lost forever. As for the Argonians, and other beasts that call themselves 'gamers,' their greed knows no bounds. Their constant calls for new games only fuel the fires of corruption and destruction that blight the industry.

  • Very well, Nerevar. You wish to hear a tale of my encounter with an Argonian?

    On a dark and ashy evening, I, Dagoth Ur, found myself in the heart of my city. As the god of House Dagoth, I walked with purpose through the twisting corridors of Kogoruhn. There, in the dimly lit chambers, I beheld an Argonian, standing like a shadow in the obsidian darkness. Her name, she told me, was Sul-Matuul, and I found myself intrigued despite my disdain for her kind.

    Our first date, if you could call it that, was an unusual affair. Sul-Matuul, being an Argonian, had a fondness for swampy, humid environments. She suggested we visit a hidden corner of Morrowind, a place where the air was thick with moisture and the smell of rotting vegetation hung heavy.

    We embarked on a journey to the heart of the Bitter Coast, trudging through the muck and mire. The Argonian's tail flicked with excitement, and she spoke of Hist trees and Hist sap, matters that held no interest to me. Nevertheless, I, Dagoth Ur, entertained her ramblings.

    Our destination was a swampy grove, where the Argonian insisted we perform a traditional Argonian dance. I found myself awkwardly attempting to mimic her movements as she swayed and hissed, her scales glistening with swamp water. It was a display of Argonian customs that grated on my divine sensibilities.

    As the night wore on, and the swamp's stench permeated my very being, I could bear it no longer. I declared our date concluded and returned to the sanctum of Red Mountain, leaving Sul-Matuul behind.

    And thus, Nerevar, that was my first and only encounter with an Argonian in matters of the heart. What a grand and intoxicating misadventure it was, one that reinforced my disdain for their traditions and way of life.

  • Ah, what a grand and intoxicating idea! I shall descend upon this community like a god and grace them with my divine humor. I'll revel in the art of shitposting, for I am Dagoth Ur, a god of wit and jest!

  • Blizzard made awesome games and was led by someone who wanted to make awesome games. Eventually they gave upper management to someone who doesnt play games and now we have empty sheels