When I was like 12, I thought chain wallets were the shit. Unfortunately my parents wouldn’t let me have one. I ended up hooking a bunch of Disney keychains together and wore that as my chain wallet. This was often worn with my favorite sleeveless neon green shirt and my lucky black and white checkered shorts.

Isn’t all gardening plant-based?

When you drive an Uber in America.

I prefer “revenge procrastination bedtime”. I need to get back at that shitty day I just had.

We need more naked men on our coins. I’d start carrying change.

This is the plot to the Paw Patrol movie.

Is there an option , without getting thrown in jail, where my tax dollars aren’t used to kill brown children across the globe?

Anyone else like to breath when they require oxygen?

This got me rock hard.

I would be so broken and angry if I had to go through that terrible experience twice.

Guns and cops destroying another family.

Acid rain drops slaps

Why not both?

I wish we could learn from our mistakes.

Welp, we’re fucked.

Last year during a flight, a passenger died of health complications mid air. They were doing CPR on her in the middle of the isle right in front of me. Even though I never knew her, it still felt personal and fucked me up for a bit. Didn’t help my fear of flying either.

I’m surprised everyone is wearing a helmet.