Boater. Take the Camptown Races pill.
Diet Quest 2023: Day 230
Still not home yet, stayed last night at a hostel in the downtown area of a large undisclosed American city. The flight home was a nightmare. I went about 50 hours without real sleep (between waking up at 4:30am for the last day of hiking to finally checking in here) and my hair was disgusting. I looked like something dislodged from a broken toilet.
Going back to calorie counting on Sunday. I think two days to enjoy myself and de-stress is reasonable. Right now I just want to get home and empty out my backpack.
Vegeta is a Marxist, Goku is an anarchist. Gohan is an idealist liberal failson. All of them are Muslim.
I am required by Hexbear LAW to post two cats hugging
Diet Quest 2023: Day 229
I gained like five pounds while on pilgrimage 
It doesn’t even matter that I was burning 3000-5000 calories per day because I was living off pan au chocolat and gigantic three-course dinners. It was mostly fresh food and not processed junk but calories are calories. I stopped caring about three days in. It was worth it. The Camino mattered more, plus I was told over and over again that I’m the fittest looking person out there. My arms look REALLY toned in photographs!
I’ve still got a chubby stomach from my pre-transition days though so just a BIT more work between now and then end of the year. It shouldn’t take much. I’m in a really good mood about this and everything else.
Nope! Religious people are very much the minority out there. Most are doing it for fun/the experience or at most as a vaguely spiritual, life affirming sort of thing. There are some true believers but nobody ever pushed anything on me. They didn’t even care that I’m not Christian. I saw the catholic elements as cross-cultural engagement.
Thanks! I wrote almost every post in bed while on sleeping pills
Surprisingly affordable! I saved up for a year to do this, but in the end I basically didn’t pull from my savings at all. I lived off my regular paychecks and it was more than enough.
Spain is cheap to begin with and on the Camino everything is discounted. Hostels are only 8€ on the low end and 20€ on the high end. A three-course pilgrim’s meal is 13€. Your day to day expenses are pretty reasonable.
It’s the flight that’s the killer if you’re traveling from outside Europe. Plus the gear if you aren’t already a backpacker. But once you’re on the way it’s all stunningly inexpensive. I never worried about money once and the one time I splurged and got a real hotel room it was still only 50€. In the US that room would have cost $125. Insane.
It’s illegal for me for a whole lot of reasons
when you perform Hajj
I am going to touch the cube 🕋
Camino de Santiago Quest 2023: Day 31
Now, after one month, it is done.
I woke up today at 4:45am and began my final 32km push in the dark. At first I was unenthusiastic about yet another walk but that shifted the moment the sun came up and I first spotted the ocean. From that instant forward I was ebullient, like every minute was my birthday.
Then I was there. Finisterre. Latin for the end of the world. This was the westernmost extent of the Roman Empire and to them it was the place where all journeys ended. So it was for me as well, but in the best possible way. I charged through the town, a bag of sour candy in hand, and stopped by the pilgrim office to collect my Fisterranna certificate. Then I was on my way up the hill to the lighthouse and cape.
It was a tourist trap. There were hundreds of people there, mostly families, mostly not peregrinos. I saw a few folks I knew and chatted with them but otherwise it looked like Fisherman’s Wharf. That’s okay. I stood in line to take a picture with the final Camino distance marker (Km 0,0!). I knew most of the others posing with it hadn’t walked, let alone from France like I had. That’s okay too. It left me feeling like others saw what I’ve done as special, like they wanted to be part of it too. Everything that touches the Camino becomes special, becomes important, at least for a moment.
~550 miles, ~875 kilometers. I walked across the entire Iberian Peninsula from the Pyrenees to the Atlantic. Pretty cool.
I took a lot of photos. My favorite has me looking out over the open ocean, back to the camera, raising my trekking poles to the sky in triumph. I might get that one framed lol. I took a few pictures of my busted sneakers too. Might just go ahead and burn those.
There was a family praying together atop a cliff and I sat near them and pulled a prayer card from my wallet which I’d received at a roadside chapel a few days prior. I read it aloud and took comfort in some parts. The more explicitly Christian stuff I hoped was non-binding. Still not a Catholic.
Each restaurant at the cape had its own credencial stamp, but there was one in particular I had in mind. It features the image of the lighthouse emblazoned with the text “Faro de Finisterre: Fin del Camino.” Me and a cyclist pilgrim went from bar to bar looking for it. I tracked it down and agonized for over a minute about where to stamp it. Ultimately I placed it right above my Santiago completion stamp on the first page, over my name and the header that reads Credencial del Peregrino. I felt good about that. I felt like I had done it. For the first time, even after Santiago, I felt like the work was finished and I could rest.
Back in town I went full Amerikkka Mode and ate chicken fingers with honey mustard. Spain even does that better than we do, somehow.
I took the bus to Santiago. Durham was there. We grabbed coffee and talked about the experience, what it was all for, why we did it. It was good that my friends bailed, he said. It forced me to be vulnerable. Vulnerability is what the Camino is all about. Vulnerability is a gift.
It’s dark and quiet now on the bus as we retrace the Camino in reverse on our way to Madrid. I’m sat rewinding through all my photos as I see others around me doing the same. I don’t know what these memories will mean in a week, a month, a decade. I wonder what I’ll think of them when I come back for round two.
In short it was a pretty buen camino, thanks for reading. Thus concludes our 31-part series. Aidios camigos.
Camino de Santiago Quest 2023: Day 30
Busted out an easy 36km today, though much of it was steeply uphill. The landscape is now borderline tropical and I find myself surrounded by palm fronds and eucalyptus trees. It’s a long way from the vinyards of La Rioja or the vast Meseta desert.
I have to say though that the magic is gone post-Santiago. There’s no sense of community or adventure anymore. I feel like I’m running an errand, checking a box for the benefit of completion. Which is exactly what I’m doing lol so I really can’t complain. I guess it’s nice to ring out a couple more nights in the albergues and a few dozen bonus kilometers in this wonderful country. I’m a hiker, I love hiking. And as a thru-hiker there was never any shot that I was going to skip the Camino Finisterre. If I can’t 100% a game then I don’t want to play it.
This has been a good way to decompress as I transition back to ordinary life. But right now I’m not thinking about my job. I’m thinking about this beautiful weather, my perfect blister-free feet, and how grateful I am to have just one more day ahead of me.
Well now I’m going to have to
Camino de Santiago Quest 2023: Day 29
Time for the epilogue. This journey was all about people, so let’s close the book on some of them for now.
First, the new friends. Australia took off for Amsterdam. She’s an insanely hot skateboarding, surfing, ayahuasca taking whale biologist and probably the coolest person I’ve ever met. Self-loathing, especially related to body image, is easily my biggest problem in life so meeting her should have sent me on a negativity spiral. But Australia is a feminist and instead we bonded over the shared struggle for beauty and how unjust it all is. We both have eating disorders. She’s anorexic. I binge eat and brought a fucking bathroom scale on a hiking trip. It was nice to meet someone who’s also been through it. I will miss standing in solidarity against the patriarchy with her.
Belgium for sure had a crush on me, and we’ve got a lot in common, but he’s also ten years younger than I am. As a millennial who hangs out exclusively with zoomers this is the burden I must carry. It’s not going to happen, but I have a ton of admiration for him and it was honestly moving that he got teary-eyed saying goodbye to me. We’d only known each other for two days! The power of the Camino.
Old friends. London has been chugging along for days despite his age and foot injury. I only got to walk with him twice (though we drank together a dozen times or so) but he’s been sending me encouraging texts for a week. He was instrumental in pulling me out of my bipolar depressive episode. I sent him a picture of the pilgrim certificate I got in Santiago to remind him that it’s all worth it. Literally. He wanted to know if it’s worth the 3€ lol.
Quebec. She’s been back in Montreal for weeks already since she was never doing the whole thing, but we’ve stayed in touch and it’s absurd how much her presence was missed on the back half of the pilgrimage. She told me that just seven days on the way was enough to reframe how she views relationships, including friendships. I feel like I was just a tiny weird little blip in other people’s experiences but it sounds like that isn’t true. Quebec was a true friend to me and she saw me the same way. It’s humbling. Why do all these cooler and prettier women keep liking me? What do I do with all these strong female friendships??
Brazil. What can I say?
Prior to yesterday I had convinced myself that Brazil didn’t really like me that much, or that he had abandoned me to walk with Brighton and Iceland and the other college guys. I was sad and confused about his decision to enter the city ahead of me instead of together. Even Quebec was confused about this development and she’s in Canada.
I still don’t really know why he did that but it doesn’t matter. He tracked me down in the city right away yesterday morning and then joined me and Australia/Belgium for dinner and drinks at night. We had a terrific time and it was amazing seeing friends from the start and end of the Camino come together.
I was going to leave Santiago early this morning until Brazil invited me to attend Pilgrim’s Mass at the cathedral. He’s very religious but in a good way where he also hates the Catholic church as an institution, so much so that he’s often skipped visiting cathedrals. Whatever the reason, he wanted to attend this time and he wanted me to join him.
This was indeed a special Mass, for we were able to experience the swinging Botafumerio, a massive urn of frankincense that brothers of the church propel through the air with ropes. Usually they only swing the Botafumerio during special events so this was a rare and magnificent thing to witness. I broke into tears. The Camino doesn’t have any one clear dramatic ‘end’ moment like climbing Katahdin, unless you’re a big fan of walking around a corner and seeing the front of a big building. But this? THIS was what I walked for. Watching that urn swing in front of St. James’ sea scalloped tomb to swells of music as the priest offered his blessings for “our return to the Camino of everyday life” had me bawling. I saw Brazil take communion for the first time this whole trip. We were both sobbing. We were together for the big finish after all.
Saying goodbye was difficult. Though we didn’t know each other at the time, he and I left Saint-John-Pied-de-Port side by side almost a month ago. He recently discovered that he even shows up in snapshots I took that day before we met.
We got breakfast in a coffee shop. He had something important he wanted to tell me. “You don’t like to be alone,” he said. “But you’re not. You never will be, even if you’re walking by yourself. You’re not alone because you have you and that’s enough.”
We hugged in the town square for over a minute. He left to catch a train. I’m sure he’s on his way back to São Paulo right now.
But me? I turned around, tightened my pack, and threw on some music. It was the same playlist I listened to on that morning out of Saint-Jean, just a day after being dumped by my friends and left feeling as lonely as I ever have. Brazil was walking right ahead of me that day. This time he was behind, going the other way. But it’s okay that I’m by myself. I’m not alone anymore.
70km left to go until I touch the ocean.
Camino de Santiago Quest 2023: Day 28
Drunk at a bar in Santiago with my new friend group plus Brazil. Everyone and everything came together in the end for the big finish. Not much else to say. We did it. This is the greatest accomplishment of my life.
500 miles. 800 kilometers. Backpack on and poles up in the morning, I’ve got 90km more ahead to reach the ocean.
Camino de Santiago Quest 2023: Day 27
The one question everyone asks is “Why?” It’s so cliche that I was sick of hearing it before I even got here, before I was even asked. I used to dismiss it by saying that I simply like to walk. But the actual reason I’m here has been clear for a while now. It hasn’t been to find myself. I did that a long time ago. It’s been to find other people.
For years I’ve been living alone, traveling alone, sleeping alone, existing alone. It’s made me a much stronger, more self-reliant person but at a cost. I’ve felt so apart from everyone and everything, and then when my friends bailed to go Ukraine it only made me feel more estranged.
Then I got here and made all those friends and everything was excellent, until those friends went away and I was thrown back into loneliness. That wasn’t how the Camino story is supposed to go. I was supposed to make a friend for life on day one and we’d walk into Santiago together triumphant, sharing in our victory.
Was I going to end up in Santiago alone? Would I be alone…forever?
NOPE BITCH
On the LAST FUCKING DAY not only did I manage to find a boy with a crush on me but we also met two other people and formed an instant, spectacular four person hiking team. The thing that was supposed to happen back on day one? Yeah it happened to me on the last day instead. Go figure.
First there’s the guy who likes me, and credit to him because this man got up at 4am and walked 45 kilometers with/for me. What a legend. We got chocolate waffles for breakfast and had a really cute 7am date at a coffee shop. He’s awesome.
Then we ran into the other two, a woman from Australia and a French speaking Belgium guy. Of course the guy who likes me is also a French speaking Belgian guy. Go figure.
At first I wanted nothing to do with them, especially because Australia is stone fucking cold gorgeous. She literally looks like a model, and I mean literally because she is one. I immediately got nervous that Belgium was going to drop me for her but he made it clear throughout the day that he’s still crushing on me pretty hard. Aww.
Once we all started talking it became clear that the four of us have extremely similar hobbies, lefty politics, all kinds of stuff. Fast, fast friends. Within hours it was like we’d been walking together for a month.
There’s just too much to recap. I can’t do it. I love these people.
We’re waking up at 3am. Australia and I are both putting on fancy dresses and makeup. Then we’re walking 25km through the dark to reach the city of Saint James.
In one day I went from doing it alone to doing it with four people who mean the world to me.
It wasn’t like the stories but in the end I got it. I got my why. I fucking won.
I was never sure if we were actually flirting. This guy just straight up asked me out.
