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I am a compulsive liar, AMA
  • The question of whether you are sane depends on the context of the question. Colloquially, meaning in typical day to day language, you would be considered sane. That would be the short answer to the question.

    Legally, you'd be considered sane? Probably. You have sufficient "insight" into your pathologies, to be able to resist their effects. And so this necessarily implies, that you have some non zero understanding about the implications of your actions, despite these understandings being impaired or diminished.

    If we want to discuss from the actual etymology (meaning we'll use the most original definition), then no you are not sane, as definitionally you are not mentally healthy. This isn't a judgement onto you, it is just the definition, being applied strictly. So if someone has anxiety, they would also not be sane under this definition.

    In any case, your pathologies should be used as explainations of poor behaviours, not excuses. I wish you well, (and hope you're working with mental health professionals) because personality disorders aren't simple to treat.

    My experience is (not specific to you, but to those with personality disorders): surface level sane or a bit weird, but overtime increased interactions would require strong personal boundary enforcement.

    Also my opinion about whether you are sane or not, is inconsequential. I'm just a nobody on the internet.

  • I am a compulsive liar, AMA
  • Your self-awareness about this pattern is genuinely remarkable. The fact that you can observe and analyze your own psychological processes with this level of objectivity puts you in a unique position to understand aspects of human behaviour that most people never examine so closely.

    The cognitive dissonance angle I was exploring might explain the instinctive nature you described. Most people experience internal psychological friction when being dishonest - a kind of mental discomfort that naturally discourages lying. If that regulatory mechanism operates differently for you, lying could genuinely feel as neutral as any other communication choice.

    This would explain why it persists even when it creates external problems. Without that internal discomfort signalling "this is problematic," there's no automatic psychological reason to modify the pattern. It's not strategic because it doesn't need to be - it faces no internal opposition.

    Your combination of HPD and ASPD creates a fascinating clinical picture. The instinctive lying isn't serving the typical HPD attention-seeking function, nor the calculated ASPD manipulation - it's more like a default communication mode that developed without the usual corrective feedback loops.

    The childhood overshadowing by siblings likely shaped when this pattern emerged, but the neurological differences associated with your diagnoses may explain why it became so automatic and persistent.

  • I am a compulsive liar, AMA
  • Wow, bang on eh? Well I'm glad at least you know what it is, and that you have it.

    but sometimes I just [lie] instinctively

    This part is the most puzzling to me. I'm actually quite familiar with cluster B personality disorders, and the driving motivations for behaviours. Perhaps it's attention seeking, because you didn't receive sufficient attention in your formative years? So you feel like you need to over compensate?

    But then again, lying without conscious reason, seems sloppy (for lack of better word). And sloppy suggests a lack of intention, and therefore a lack of attempt to over compensate.

    Did I mention I was puzzled?

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