AcidSmiley [she/her] @ AcidSmiley @hexbear.net

Posts

2

Comments

50

Joined

5 yr. ago

i get that, some things need time to sink in, and some just sort themselves out slowly.

This isn't weird at all, that kind of stuff can take time and you should just move at your own pace.

I hope so, too, but i'm not worried much, she's such a sweet person and the people there are really nice and welcoming.

come on this has to be satire. you can't be serious about this shit.

going to a local trans meetup tomorrow. i'm taking a super nice trans girl i met on an antifa trans discord there, promised to meet her a bit earlier so i can help her calm down her social anxiety. the place is very chill, but it's her first time with that crowd, so i'll see what i can do to make her feel at ease.

redditors are extra weird. i've edited my post accordingly because unfortunately, a lot of my trans reddit experience was checking which transmed subs people with bad takes were posting on. These are rare on r/traaaa, but i can't speak for r/tgcj

One thing we absolutely have to be prepared for when recruiting is redditors whining about ebil red fash totalitarian tankies, that has reliably happened every time i've seen hexbear brought up in trans spaces on reddit when i was still posting there (which wasn't that long ago).

Edit: Also we may want to keep in mind that all trans subs on reddit are infested to at least some degree with transmeds and /tttt/ reactionaries, which are simply an internal threat to any trans community. It's the main reason i don't go there anymore, even in a "a only visit trans-related subs" kind of way. They're not many, but they are too many.

It's because none of these people seem to have ever seen an actual safe space in their lives.

Of course not, why would anybody let rabid transphobes wander into a safe space?

just shows he mostly hangs out in spaces that are openly permissive of transphobia, which unfortunately is most spaces. just hexbear's moderation policy is reason enough we constantly draw in trans people and eggs that will crack shortly.

When your aligment is Posadist Neutral

The entire "how can you have that many different pronouns" discourse is by far the dumbest thing i've seen since the start of our federation, and it isn't just painfully cringe and ignorant and a clear sign that these people lack any and all experience with queer spaces unless you count r/196 and the trans category on pornhub, it is simply outright, open transphobia to deny peoples' gender identity. That's the very core of transphobic sentiment, to deny us our right to gendered self determination.

It's sad to see these reactionaries have now also extended their attacks to other parts of the queer community, but it isn't surprising. These people always start with what they perceive to be the easy targets, but it's part and parcel of reactionary persecution campaigns to expand the outgropups they go after. This, besides the moral imperative of solidarity, is the strategic reasoning behind "an injury to one of us is an injury to all of us."

We cannot tolerate such attacks on our queer comrades anywhere on lemmy. The perpetrators should be hunted down wherever we find them, and we should make it a cross-instance effort to make lemmy a safer space for queer people, and an extremely unsafe space for queerphobes of all kind. I propose that federated instances share blocklists of queerphobic users so that eventual bans can be extended to other instances preemptively. In a day and age were our community faces the worst attacks since the AIDS pandemic, we must look out for and protect each other.

it certainly seems like the mods there let anything slide as long as it is isn't outright incitement to violence

Our mods tolerate a lot of things that would get you banned on reddit, such as calling for the death of nazis as long as it's not what we call "fedposting" (actionable threats of violence that would also work as an FBI honeypot). On the other hand, our moderation team is probably the most hardline one on the entire internet when it comes to punishing transphobia and other queerphobic sentiments, and we do not take kindly to other forms of bigottry on there, either. For example, using the r-slur or other ableist language will reliably get your post deleted. If you have a habit of calling people you disagree with autistic or schizophrenic, you can prepare for getting banned from our instance. We look out for our neurodivergent comrades. Then there's the entire culture against hornyposting that we have. Hexbear is very different from the rest of the internet when it comes to sexualizing and objectifying people. We're not a sex-negative instance, but we're hentai free and don't want things to get creepy and uncomfortable in our place. We have a fairly elaborate culture of what goes into a content warning, too. We're most definitely not an "anything goes" free speech absolutist instance. We're a staunchly leftist, intersectional, antifascist community and we actively fight to keep it that way so that all marginalized people can feel safe around us.

Come the fuck on, this has to be a bit. You can't be real you fucking dork.

I have internalized my own abuse to the point where i sound like a reactionary redditor and so should you

Just to be clear, i'm not saying "don't say dude", the term in itself is perfectly fine. Just saying it's not unusual at all that trans people find it not to be gender neutral and particularly that the response in that case shouldn't be to start an argument where you assert a right to label trans people in ways that have clearly and already hurt them. It's the latter that made me go from "oof, that person should edit this post" to "scratch a liberal and a fascist bleeds".

Real talk from a very trans-supportive communist: is this universal?

I find it to be at least extremely common, both in English-speaking spaces online and in German-speaking trans communities online and IRL (i'm German). Ultimately it's a matter of preference, there will be trans people who disagree, but there definitely are a lot of us who take offense. Same goes for terms like guy and especially for bro / bruh etc., or for German terms like Typ or Alter (in this context roughly comparable to guy or dude) which are generally at least masc-leaning. I'd definitely take offense to all of these, but sure, there are exceptions.

Still, these are exceptions, and more importantly, what we see here is a perfect example of how not to deal with such a situation: When somebody calls you out on misgendering, the only sensible response is to edit the post in question and to apologize. If you do that, it's normally no big deal, everybody moves on with their day. And it takes a few seconds to edit a post and a few more to reply "sorry, i've edited this" while it can quickly take hours to start an argument over this. Yet i see over and over again that liberals in particular are incapable of showing that amount of basic human decency. Instead, they have to assert their privilege to define what we're allowed to find offensive, talk down to us and act as if they're the one ones who've been hurt because we've called their feeling of superiority and infallibility into doubt by saying they've made a mistake. That's where it gets transphobic even if the misgendering was unintentional, that's where it gets patronizing as well.