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Holy shit. I get it now.
My kid is gay. It doesn’t bother me…mostly. Like, I’m 100% fine with it on a social level. I never criticize her, I support her, but when I think about not having biological grandchildren something on a primitive level cries out in me. Her mother is dead, she had one child. As an animal, on a very basic level, she wasn’t successful in reproduction if her genes stop with her only child.
If we’re looking at it beyond just what we can see, people are terrified that their children won’t reproduce. I could be wrong, I’m just an idiot.
As humans we have to contend with our intellect and our nature. A lot of us have very little of one and a whole lot of the other.
I personally feel like I have to be above my fear. My fear is primitive. Humanity is fine if none of my genes ever travel on down the line. My daughter is perfect like she is.
Whether or not a child decides to have children of their own will never be something a parent gets to "fear" or control, straight or gay. All 8 billion humans are conscious enough to realize that individuals aren't responsible for perpetuating the species, and that one specific person's genes aren't any ideal that needs to live on.
I'm glad you support your daughter's chance at happiness rather than her reproduction quality!
Oh no, I agree with you.
That’s the whole point about being above my own fears.
I know it isn’t my decision.
My fear is something I can’t control. How I react to that fear is a whole other story.
I feel like that’s the whole solution across the board. Teaching people that their nature will lead them to fear things irrationally. Their intellect is the answer.
That's true. Teaching as many people as possible to live rationally and compassionately will go a lot further than ensuring your own bloodline survives.
Yep. That’s what I was saying.
You know that being a gay or lesbian doesn’t prevent you from being able to have children, right?
Having a personal issue with her not having children (if that’s what she decides) is ok. Blaming it on her being gay is just bigoted. She could have been born straight and still decided not to have children and you’d be in the same place.
Go back and read the very last line, like 10 or 12 times.
I already did read it. Now go back and read what I said. Your daughter can still be gay and she can have children. You have lost nothing.
Edit: Also, you don’t have to be a condescending jerk when you’re the one missing the point while assuming that I missed yours.
It’s aggravating. It feels like people look for adversaries constantly.
Two gay people have a child, one of those people won’t have genes in common with that kid.
That’s not the real point though, the point is that silly primitive fears are silly.
You want to dance around calling me a bigot for whatever reason, so hey, naturally I come back as a condescending jerk.
It is no wonder we can’t get people on our side if we’re poring over lesser points to call people bigots.
First off, I didn’t call you a bigot. I said that blaming a lack of children on her being gay is bigoted.
Second of all, based on this, you seem to be the one looking for adversaries. You’re the one who posted this.
Lastly, I get the point of primitive fears being silly. I wasn’t disputing that or arguing against it in any way. I’m asking why you even have the fear to begin with. You didn’t say anything about the gay people’s genes before. You said something about your wife’s genes stopping with her only child. The situation with your wife’s genes are the same whether your daughter is gay or not.
Jesus H buttfucking Christ.
Take care bud.
Oh my god you guys keep purposely missing the point.
Maybe you should have stated it better, then.
To be clear, I get that your point about control and everything. I’m only taking issue with your introduction where you pretend being gay and not having children are the same thing.
That deep primitive fear you talk about isn’t animal, it’s social.
We’re taught that idea. Family is defined by the state as biological relationship so we all have experience with that structure and conflate it with the biological. States throughout history have done such a good job of reifying the idea that family is blood relation that we don’t question it!
If the cognative notion that your kid wouldn’t have more kids could influence the “animal” fears like fight or flight it wouldn’t come out in dread or anger, it would be hormones and other purely biological effects in your body.
I’m not saying this to be jerk or call you crazy, but fr talk to a therapist about this. Someone who can help you figure out what your feelings mean is really helpful.