3 ways to help your child transition off screens and avoid the dreaded 'tech tantrums'
3 ways to help your child transition off screens and avoid the dreaded 'tech tantrums'
For many families, there is a daily battle around getting kids off their screens and back into real life.
If kids have any form of tantrum, it's because the parents let them and cave to the kids "demands". Kids will keep throwing tantrums if it works.
Edit: You can downvote all you want, but regardless of the situation, if you need to take 3 pointers from an article about "tech tantrums", there are some more serious issues at play and it's not an issue with the child.
Or kids are neurodivergent and have trouble with changing from one activity to another...
Or the kid is overwhelmed by a new situation and needs help regulating...
Or the kid is hungry...
Or tired...
Being strict without understanding why a kid is acting up is not helpful. It should be possible to treat a child like a person and still set (and enforce) clear boundaries.
It is absolutely possible to treat the child like a person. My point is that most tantrums are allowed by the parents because of frustration.
The reason for tantrums should be clear as day to the parents. Usually, the kid is wanting something or not wanting to do something badly. Kids are not complex and their basic needs should be second nature to parents by the time they are old enough to throw a tantrum.
When a child is old enough to throw a tantrum, they are able to understand words, generally. IMHO, the parent needs to be firm, not "strict". Old phrases like "the parents are always right" or "because I said so" should be thrown in the trash where they belong.
For example, when I was at the mall with my first daughter (she was 4, I think.) she threw her first (and last) tantrum in the middle of the crowded mall because she wanted to go into the Disney store as we were leaving. My reaction was quick and firm. I immediately squatted down to her eye level, ensured eye contact and that she was fully focused on me. (Being quick about my response was important.) I explained that throwing a tantrum was not going to help her situation one bit. I didn't raise my voice or hold her down. I didn't threaten her with punishment or anything like that. She understood immediately that she did not like my shift into "daddy mode" and the battle was over quicker than it started.
My approach there was to quickly snap the kids attention directly to me. Using words they understand is important, of course, but I explain what they are doing is not right. I have them repeat the point of what I say to make sure they understand it, out loud.
If, by chance, the parent actually doesn't understand what the child needs, that is a perfect time to ask. Help the child communicate their needs properly.
How that is applied is situational, but the underlying method is the same. Break the endless cycle of the kid saying "but I want" and the parent just saying "no".
Tantrums are all the same. It's a pointless escalation of a situation by both the child and the parent.
Neurodivergence is a special case, obviously. However, using distraction and simple logic can help as well. There have been a few tantrums by my nephew I have stopped cold using the same method. It is more challenging because of the needs of the child, but it works.
I'll note however, there are 2 sorts of tantrum. Emotional, and tactical. Your comment only applies to the latter. Emotional tantrums are a fact of life for parents. They get better, but only with life experience.
Also, the best counter to tactical tantrums is to provide an alternative outlet for their desires. My daughter learnt that, while tantrums got little headway, polite, calm, negotiations are highly effective. It makes shopping trips a lot easier.
As for tech tantrums, they can be a mix of types. Cutting them off can generate a lot of withdrawal. That has big emotions attached to it, that need to be processed. Emotional tantrums are common under those sorts of stress.
Oh absolutely. Also about being consequent and keeping sticking to your rules.
This is definitely one of those "easier to avoid than to remedy" kinds of things.
Don't. Why are you on your screen all day? It helps you relax. It gives you a feeling of control. It normalizes you in a chaotic world.
Your kid is a little you. They need the same thing. Articles like this are for parents who themselves aren't on lemmy all day.