How do you gain cofidents about your body?
How do you gain cofidents about your body?
My relationship with my body is bit of a rollercoaster, I will live my body and dislike it for being too skinny etc. I am slowly but surely starting to like my body more which one way is fashion which is wearing shorter shorts.
I think also I have a bad habit of conparing jorks/beefy men from porn and wish I have that body as well.
I guess you could try to compare to people you see from day to day as opposed to people in some form of media, they're always going to be better than average.
Me though? I'm a short, balding, pale, hairy dude approaching 40. When I look in a mirror I just laugh now and say "god I didn't miss a single branch when I fell out of the ugly tree." I just accept that I'm really ugly as opposed to try to feel better about my appearance lol
Hey buddy this can be difficult for sure. I know it’s cold comfort, but basically everyone feels that way about their body, even the beefiest porn guy feels that way a little inside.
I’ve been spending more time actually looking at myself in the mirror in various states of undress, and accepting who I am. I also just hang out half-naked/naked a lot more when I’m alone. I don’t have to like everything about myself to still like myself, and for me that was a hard lesson to learn.
Second, remember to separate how you feel about your body from how others feel about your body. Where you are attracted to a certain type, you don’t know what someone else is attracted to. And there are people out there who are exactly into you! I don’t know exactly what/who you’re into, but I think you have an awesome body. I hope it doesn’t make you uncomfortable, but yeah you look like you’re nice to caress and generally be intimate with.
Third, consider working with a therapist/BetterHelp if you can! It’s great to have someone who is educated and experienced in these matters to work on things with you.
Just hanging out around the house in front of mirrors is a great one. I used to be the type who was happy when looking at myself in the mirror and devastated seeing pictures of myself, because I'd alway pose myself at my best angle for the mirror and a pic would never be directly on and would show the actual shape of my person or my posture. I should acknowledge that this method did get me to become healthier so it's not like I finally accepted myself as good but it made me accept who/how I am.
The funny thing is that I have hookup few times and guys live my body but I still feel mix about it but that's coming from someone who badly overthinks the minor stuff so it it getting off that habit really
but I think you have an awesome body. hope it doesn’t make you uncomfortable
Also thanks and don't worry, I take that stuff as a compliment lol. Only ones that makes me uncomfortable is gay men on Grindr who demand that I see them right now and take no for an answer.
You're not the only one, so take comfort in not being alone in this at the very least. Porn destroys realistic expectations, not only of sex itself, but of what is expected from body types. It's never something to measure against, the same way that you shouldn't compare yourself to a world-class body builder as someone who works out.
I understand that words mean little in the face of societal pressure though. If you're truly unhappy with an aspect of your body within your control (weight (to a degree) or fitness), we as humans have the ability to make changes over time of we want. However, body types in general are static and yours is beautiful. You might not be a beefy porn actor, but I promise you there are millions of people who would go weak at the knees seeing your body. Just because it's not society's twisted version of "desirable" doesn't mean it's undesirable.
Finding ways of accenting the parts you love, as stated in your post, is a great way of making strides toward appreciating the body you have. You got this!