This toilet paper at my work

Just use a lot of it I guess. It's just gonna cost them more in the long run.

I love these false economies that some corporate bean counter thinks saves the company money

Because you see, whenever I see this trash in a cubicle, I lovingly build my own 8-ply, using more paper and burning company time

Think like an engineer. That isn't 1 ply, it is materials needed to make 20 ply.

I call them DIY 5-ply TPs

My dad always told me that when a company switches to single ply toilet paper, it's time to gtfo bc the writing is on the wall. Company's going under.

"We need everyone back to the office. There is no reason for you to work from home"...

If bidets became commonplace, it would reduce the need for toilet paper greatly! Ask me, I know! Got one for $40.00 from Amazon, attached in minutes. Best thing since sliced bread

Is this that new transparent wood I keep hearing about?

just pull out more and fold lmao; they can't control how much you use

Write an email to HR, leaving a paper trail in case they retaliate...

If they don't solve this issue, I would just go home to take a dump and come back without clocking out... If they complain, I would tell them they need reasonable toilet paper.

You might get fired for it, so I would start applying for other jobs before attempting this.

Homeopathic toilet paper

Hopefully they realize it won't save them anything when people use an entire roll every time they shit.

This should be against the ADA. Many Americans have Crohn's, ulcerative colitis, IBS, and other issues which make them need to use the restroom frequently. Using toilet paper of that quality quickly becomes painful and causes inflammation.

cOmE baCK to WORk It's greAt!

Bidet and/or toilet seat with butt washer.

I mean when you step in shit, you don't just tissue your foot or shoe, you wash it down at the earliest opportunity. Why should it be different for butts?

The enshittification continues. Literally in this case.

I used to work in a warehouse that had toilet paper like this.

Funny thing was, it was a warehouse full of toilet paper. So there was typically a roll of something better in the bathroom, sitting on top of the dispenser.

My friends, I would like to share a story with you.

August 2023. Afternoon. I am sitting at my desk in my office. The tell tale signs of something brewing begin to make themselves known. After a time, I reluctantly acknowledge that I won't make it another 3 hours until I get home. I trudge downstairs to the less populated floor, as one does. An empty stall appears. I seat myself on the porcelain throne and an epic battle ensues. 15 minutes later the moment of dead arrives. I reach over to the dispenser and proceed to unroll.

Halfway through the standard multi-stage folding process, necessary to create something suitable for use, I pause. Something is different. This can't be right...this is...no, that's impossible. I look closer at the material in my hands. I rub it between thumb and index finger. I stare in disbelief. This is soft, comfortable, 2 ply material! Gods be praised! I proceed to give myself a royal treatment; the cleanest, most wonderful experience! I feel like a king as I wash my hands and return to my desk.

I dare not speak of this to anyone, for fear the mistake will be discovered. Over the next few weeks, I make several returns trips to the same location and am treated to the same royal cleaning. Life is good!

October. I have grown complacent in my comfort over the intervening weeks. One fateful day I make the trip downstairs, now fully expecting to do business in comfort. Post excursion I reach over, my fingers make contact with something akin to sandpaper. My hand freezes and my heart drops. The most wonderful 2 ply material is gone, replaced with the old standard rough, semi transparent tissue that always results in rectal bleeding. I curl over into a sitting fetal position and morn the loss of my comfy companion. Perhaps I shed a single tear, or cry or in pain, the memory is too traumatic to recall clearly now.

Six weeks later. Was it all a dream? Did I imagine the 2 ply material from heaven? I don't think so, but it has not returned. Maybe, against all hope, it will return in the future. Only time will tell.

TL;DR - my office had 2 ply toilet paper for a few weeks and it was the most amazing thing ever.

It's this kind of shit that will ultimately motivate me to unionize.

The legendary ½ ply!

Obviously unpopular opinion, but I prefer one ply. The fluffy stuff always leaves lint which I think is pretty gross. I also find it more adjustable, like maybe I only need one square to wipe up a little toothpaste but I can also use three feet to wipe my ass.

I will die on this hill

That just means people will use more of it.

Don't you wanna get in touch with your inner self?

You have to layer the individual plys yourself. It's a build your own toilet paper kit.

You should see/try socialist/communist toilet paper. Not only is it thin like this, it will also no-so-gently exfoliate your anus.

Source: Cuban resorts and lived experience in the former Soviet Union during the 80’s and early 90’s.

If you breathe on it wrong it'll tear a hole right through it. Hope there's soap

Bro just pull out a half km of it and fold it up

Looks like the office version of anti-homeless architecture. Most likely intended to serve the same purpose.

I'm becoming less convinced feudalism ever actually ended...

I would start bringing my own toilet paper.

Or would check out the toilets on the floor where the management offices are.

Am I the only one around here that just wads up an adequate amount, based on thickness? Even the cheapest of toilet paper is never an issue with this method.

You realize everyone in the office has very recently just touched their own poop. Even management cant put a positive spin on that. You need better TP.

Capitalism and its consequences have been a disaster for the human anus

Not for the anuses in charge, though.

Penny wise pound foolish. The only way not to go through the paper is to go through the rolls.

We were in a hotel in Niagara Falls earlier this year and it had toilet paper like that in the room. We went out and got real toilet paper pretty quickly.

What gives, Canada? I thought you guys were better than us.

I prefer this one over the sandpaper that many place use. You just fold it and it's softer

That's bananus

Thin toilet paper is one thing, just use more layers.

Narrow toilet paper is another. Fuck places that use non-standard width toilet paper.

My work switched to a double ply... instantly the toilets got clogged. GM blamed it on women's sanitary products. I have half a mind to lead our own little protracted people's war against him until the plumbing gets fixed.

Yikes....not even Orphanage-Grade

1/4 ply?

Don’t get me started on how coddled the modern anus is.

That's terrible and what's sad is that its likely not even cheaper if you factor in how much is used.

As a kid, I remember when the schools used to have that paper that literally was paper and on one side being shiny. Shit used to literally smear on the shiny side. I don't think it actually exists anymore.

Looks like you’re going to ‘get in touch with your inner self’.

How much do we value our employees? Just go take a dump.

reminds me seinfeld episode, where Elaine want a a square, but the woman in the other stall says "I can't spare a square. I don't have a square to spare."

Lol its a big fuck you to all the workers.

not using a reusable scrub brush to clean your anus

One side: 80 grit The other side: high gloss

This has got to be where the idea for transparent wood came from...

What you're holding there is Prototype-0

That TP looks great for removing the static from between your cheeks.

Don't they know the story of 2-ply? https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.opb.org/article/2023/05/11/deschutes-river-oregon-poo-patrol-two-ply-outhouse-cleaner/%3FoutputType=amp

Still better than 0.5 ply toilet paper schools use.

Use the whole roll. They're the ones purchasing it.

I think I'd rather just use my hand. At least it'll be softer.

Clip your finger nails before your finger breaks through that and you scrape clean your bum hole.

Shitty toilet paper buddy!

That's military grade single ply right there. https://youtu.be/f6HuAhJ0k5E?si=BucLnrDAhgJol_OC

Trump vs Biden? More like tissue vs bidet

Instant shitfinger https://i.imgur.com/NKF8DYW.jpeg

Just install a bidet until they ask

Just start shitting in the sink.

Guess so you don't take some of it home. I personally think this is bodily injury.

Just use the hand towels.

Just use a massive amount and if it keeps blocking the loo then oh well when the cheap paper causes too much cost then they might look into better quality stuff.

At least your holder is still assembled properly. People at my job take the roll holder, yank it half out of the box, and just leave it in that mangled state.

finger pokes through surprise buttseks

There is this famous advertisement for toilet paper that goes 'is your washroom breeding bolsjewists?'

And yes, yes it is

Walmart's new paperstock for the bathroom I feel is like this, it's so cheap

“John Wayne Toilet Paper: don’t take shit off nobody.”

Look, I get it that it's cool to rag on a company for being cheap and short sighted but this toilet paper is not bought to save money. They know you use more. It's bought because thin toilet paper breaks down quickly in water, meaning rather than needing a plumber to wrestle your turd nest out of the pipes with a snake, they can hang an out of order sign on the stall for a shift and try flushing again once the "toilet paper" has completely dissolved.

This makes me so upset.

RIP you butt

Get your coworkers to join you in using the nearest fast food restaurant whenever you need to use the restroom. When management sees everyone constantly cycling through the front door, they may get a clue.

Feels like I wipe with nothing at all! Nothing at all! Nothing at all!