Daily Discussion Thread: Thu 06 Jul 2023
Daily Discussion Thread: Thu 06 Jul 2023
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This post sponsored by @CEOofmyhouse56
Bot #001 appologises for any inconvenience caused by the incorrect day name in the original post, and undertakes to commence retraining on names of the day immediately.
Second last day of stress leave today, think I'll remain in my jammies and lounge about doing whatever takes my fancy.
Okay so I've ranted before on the old DT about my boss and the blowups we've had earlier in the year. My annual review is supposed to be in 10 days. I've been thinking of how to approach it and negotiate pay vs hours etc and provide feedback on where things are going and what my role still is in the firm.
rant follows
Today I rock up, old mate is already in his classic bad mood, and after discussing the stuff we're meant to be talking about (during which he is dismissive and presumptuous), I carefully bring up the topic of the annual review... and guess what...
I'm not even having one . Because he doesn't want any more "unnecessarily difficult" conversations and he feels he's spoken enough to me already. Oh, but his one bit of feedback is that I haven't been bringing in enough invoices and it's well below everyone else's. And that's it.
No option to defend myself, about how dealing with my mental health has been a huge time and money sink (I'm sure it would've been easier if I'd just broken my leg or got long Covid). Or how a lot of my time spent helping to manage and provide ongoing support to everyone else's projects over the years has resulted in a permanent boost in capacity for everyone else. Or how his uninvolved "management'" is not sustainable with his expectations.
I've had an entire lifetime of undervaluing myself because I've been conditioned to stay in line - "you're not good enough". "People will never understand you so you need to shut up and comply". "Stop resting on your laurels, you'll just get lazy and complacent". "It's not that special, get over yourself, stop complaining and be grateful", etc.
You know what? People in my industry - even from fucking overseas - have literally tracked me down online after coming across posts under a pseudonym with no link to my name, because they were impressed with what I've done in that sphere (almost all of which I've done on my own time and much of which has directly benefited business processes, with no prompting or guidance whatsoever) My boss even KNOWS this. Word has gotten to him!
But I almost felt like I couldn't even enjoy the opportunity and positivity because it got rained on by someone who doesn't even want to acknowledge the value I bring and can continue to bring - not as direct billing but as a multiplier for everyone else's productivity - and happiness. (It's just not his so who cares, right?)
Then he spent the rest of the morning being unreasonably pissed off at people who had made minor mistakes and blaming others for being passive when he's the one refusing to take leadership and accountability for change HE wants to see.
By the way there's nobody else in the office now and he was all alone and he was commenting on that too like others were being avoidant.
Well, my boss could be a lot worse and I remain very grateful that the business helped make my dreams of staying on in this country come true.
But if this is how it's going to keep on going... If he's willing to throw so much away just so he can huff around and stamp his foot when he's feeling cranky, but also refuse to actually put his foot down when it comes to being decisive... and he refuses to see what's going on and make changes or get help... then I'm not throwing good effort after bad.
I'll still be reducing my hours pro rata once I figure out what the hell it is I am going to get paid. And that'll help me stay on a bit longer.
But this is the fire under my arse I definitely will use to get me motivated to move the fuck on. No more ms. nice_kitten. Next opportunity I get, I'm gone. I don't care if it's well before the end of the year and it's crunch time. I'm going where I'll be appreciated - either in terms of support, genuine progression, or money.
Time to go to bed, and hopefully my headache will be gone in the morning.
I have run the bot through final instructions and insisted that all post titles are pre-approved, so hopefully there will not be a repeat of the 2nd Wednesday fiasco. It's on probation until it shows it understands how the day names work properly. Fingers crossed for a third successful post.
So we have landscapers here at the moment to help us finish the backyard and lay some turf. They have the radio on, playing B52's Love Shack at a decent volume, and one of them is singing his own lyrics. "Gonna need a chiro cos my backs fuuuuucked". "Every body moving, everybody grooving to the Buffalo, buffalo baby!".
I am trying so hard not to audibly laugh. I think they forget I'm inside and can hear them.
Today's the last day of the week for me! Off to gippy tomorrow, but unfortunately someone decided to turn the trains into buses, so I'll be one of the 6 train carriages of people getting on a single bus half the size of one carriage for 4 and a half hours on Sunday, but I'm just hoping it's a bit warmer out that way than it is here!
The sun is so beautiful today. Feels like I haven’t seen it in 2 weeks.
How it does cheer up a day when it’s out and makes everything so much brighter and cheerful!
I hope everyone enjoys the day!
Day 12 of exercise program. A rest day today. Not for work however, I've got lasagna sheets to make and plenty of 'em! At some point I've got to launder some towels (ugh, where do they all bloody well come from?).
Have a great day everyone!
Been so meh these last couple of weeks. The same again today after work. It’s like… I don’t know… I just want to do nothing.
But… pulled my finger out for self-care Thursdays which has been hit and miss, but a good hit today. Still loving on the Aesop scrub I mentioned I while back. I’ve cleansed, scrubbed and put a face mask on. (I fully look like such a weirdo, my face is kind of bank robber material right now… 🤣)
So while I’m sitting here basting my face, a curious q (as I do), has anyone read any books or have any book recommendations for people who a) suck at meditation b) really struggle with positive affirmations and the like… (like find it [the language] a bit ick?). You know, for an eternal pessimist with a broken anterior cingulate.
Quick! Go outside and get as much vitamin d as you can, while it lasts
beautiful sunrise, volcano pink and purples, I can see stars, the air is cool, a slight breeze blows, it smells good and fresh , the birds are singing 😊 ( currawong, "I will eat your babies" , thrush, "fuck off and die you baby killer" )
Tooth extraction done and went smoothly, aside from needing an extra dose of anaesthetic (but that's generally the case).
Home safely and have crawled into bed for a rest, if not a nap.@bot001 Swapping the cold Melbourne today for some warmth up north. Call me a traitor. But I'll be back. Can't handle the heat for too long and gotta cool my head eventually.
rant
Idk if they're just taking a while to make a decision, and I'm trying not to overthink, but this place emailed me this morning and said they'd get back to me this afternoon and they haven't and I probably haven't got this job and I'm trying not to freak out but omg I just want to stop teetering on The Edge of Homelessness and just have it be an Imminent Worry instead. Is it so much to ask to just be employed? I just want to pay my bills and maybe buy a coffee every now and then, I'm not asking for a deposit on a house or even a holiday abroad I just want to pay my rent without skimping out on food for myself. Sorry for the stream of conciousness but it is indicative of how anxious, depressed and stressed I am and I suppose this is an artform in itself but now I'm disgressing because I am still stressing so I'm compartmentalising these fears into rooms of my mind and bricking up the doors so I don't break down.
I just wanna be okay ffs
i wasn't pissy about my inspection today but now it's ludicrously nice outside and i would have been able to jump a v-line out to the country somewhere.
e: forgot, in day-making news i went to the market this morning and a little staffy came running out of a random shop to plant itself on my feet and demand pats and scratches. it got SO many
I'm too tired to journal properly tonight. It's been a busy day but I managed to squeeze in a 6k walk and a quick trip to the op shop which landed me a gorgeous full length blue paisly skirt.
I'll leave it up for now, unlike Reddit the title can be changed.
Time for bed.
Feeling very bleh today. A bit headachy and unable to focus, so study did not get done. I made some changes to the bot so the days should be right, then tried to do a test post and it wouldn't work. Just about had a nervous breakdown before I realised I was not using 24 hour time. I'm going to leave off looking at the pinning issue until my brain can function properly.
Get your washing on the line folks. We have a brief reprieve for most of today from the rain and perma-grey until about 4 pm.
Seagoon's Movie review.
Ready Player One. "This is the story of an ordinary little boy named Wade Watts. He was not faster, or stronger or more clever than other children. His family was not rich or powerful or well connected. In fact they barely had enough to eat. Yet Wade Watts was the luckiest boy in the entire world. He just didn't know it yet. "
I made spicy airfryer chickpea snacks for tonight's cricket match.
They are quite good. I just need to play around with the spices.
spoiler
Image of spicy airfried chickpeas in a bowl.
Little Bastard Hair
Got bumfluff all over my face,
The tiny hairs are pale and thin.
Though in one particular place,
A rebel will sprout upon my chin.Darker and thicker than all of its mates,
Growing long when I forget it's there.
A careless caress, I'm filled with hate,
Rip it out, curse it, that evil hair.That'll do Bot, that'll do.
Got curious and ran through the tax refund calculator. I forgot that I’m juuust on the cusp of Medicare levy surcharges being payable which is going to mean that I owe.
Has me wondering how the fuck single people manage to make any headway. I’ve put off going to the dentist so I can keep going to therapy, try to stretch things as much as I can, but paying the levy is still cheaper than any private health insurance. It’s at a point where I catch myself wondering when the dog will be old enough to kick the bucket and free up a substantial amount each month. Fuuuck.
so busy today. late finish and couldnt really be bothered cooking, so broccoli, pesto and chilli soup with garlic-y croutons from the freezer it is (fresh croutons).
want to watch the cricket but will probably end up falling asleep on the couch, giving myself an old lady stiff neck/back for work tomorrow.
in good news, soup was delicious.
Yay bot! Nearly there ⭐️
I hope the bot reposts Taco Tuesday tomorrow. That would be brilliant
Wow I just saw some sun! Might go get myself a bit if natural vitamin D before it turns grey again.
you tried
Big sleep. Big Big sleep. I feel refreshed.
I was hoping to have a siesta after lunch, but it didn't happen, and now it's too late to nap, and if I sleep now I'll wake up too early tomorrow (long day, so I'd rather not wake up 7 hours before I need to) but sooooo tired
The date is correct!
People scared of dogs when they see my dog: 😨
My dog when he sees them: 😨
Brrr jebus is it cold! Such a contrast to today's sunshine. It'd freeze the baubles off a Canadian Christmas tree, was glad to get on a mildly crowded bus for once.
pain is slowly subsiding, put a shoe rack together today, I am not a DIY person, unfortunately.
Bought one of those super high density toothbrushes to try. I have to say, teeth feel cleaner than with regular toothbrush.
spoiler
I was talking to my partner about my school years, the stupid shit we got up to at my public school, and how it differs from his experience at a private Catholic school (prep to year 12).
I remember one of the boys in my French class locking our Mauritian teacher out of the classroom multiple times, then he threw a banana at the ceiling fan causing it to splatter around.
I also remember a fight where one kid picked up a drain cover and smashed it over the head of the other kid.
And Olivia Penpraze. I went to primary school and highschool with her, before she changed schools. We weren't friends, but we have experienced very similar things, and I wonder how close we could have been, and how easily our places could have been swapped.
Just memories and regrets now.
RIP Olivia.
Got the date right at least. Good enough!
I'm too tired for this, bot. Had a slight crisis of day-of-week, hahahah.
May be procrastinating writing again.
Edit: Obviously I am currently listening to my d e u t s c h l a n d p l a y l i s t and now I am very sad that Jennifer Rostock haven't released any music since 2016 😭Edit edit: What am I even saying? Wir Sind Helden went on hiatus in 2012! I like a band and apparently curse it to never make new music again! Least AMK and Von Wegen Lisbeth are still releasing knock on wood fickt!
Ooo did downvotes and upvotes show up again for anyone else today?
I have no idea how to tag people on this - whatever.
@Force_majeure122@aussie.zone - have you heard AnnenMayKantereit cover Toxic? It may be one you'd like from them too :)
edit: can someone else make a post on this DT please, I look needy and weird at the top
Yay, happy weekend!
Formatting syntax question.Does anyone know how you does this under an image...
It's on every image over at !digitalart@lemmy.world
Edit - was meaning more about how it looks... Response over on !digitalart@lemmy.world was that the links are put into the "post body" section and centred... Which then displays like the example. Thanks all
Peele's Twilight zone? Peele's Twilight zone.
I just got word that my 21 year old daughter is positive for a hereditary disease that has taken my mother and my sister already. I'm crushed - right through my soul. She is the kindest and dearest person I know (I may be biased) but this is so hard for her, and me, to deal with.
Image is of a big black kitten with a white patch on their stomach.
