On a fine Monday morning, Steve Huffman, known colloquially as Spez, awoke from his gold-threaded sheets in his penthouse, sipping on his ethically questionable yet preposterously expensive civet coffee. He looked out his windows, the horizon offering the perfect view of his kingdom, his creation, his Reddit.
Having decided to raise the cost of API use to levels that would make a NASA engineer's jaw drop, Spez had embarked on a mission to squelch third-party apps, steering users towards the official (albeit buggy) Reddit app. He chuckled to himself, confident that his plot was as foolproof as an uncrackable safe.
Little did he know, the storm was brewing.
As he logged on, dressed in his favorite power suit, he noticed the eerie silence. Subreddits, once buzzing hives of memes, jokes, and shower thoughts, were now as barren as the surface of Mars. The once-mighty r/AskReddit, now reduced to a ghost town, echoed with digital tumbleweeds.
Confused, he navigated to r/pics. The screen loaded and his eyes were met with an endless scroll of buttholes, every variety, shape, and color imaginable. His newly nanobot-manicured eyebrows knitted together in bewilderment.
“Must be a new meme trend,” he said, shrugging it off.
He then moved to r/science, a bastion of intellect and reason, only to find NSFW content occupying every single thread. The Higgs boson was being discussed in a manner Einstein could never have predicted.
“What in the name of...?” He blinked, checking whether he was still on Reddit and not some obscure corner of the dark web.
He decided to investigate, opening his mailbox. "Surely my loyal subjects will inform me what's going on," he mused.
And inform they did. His inbox was flooded with messages, each more colorful than the last. "Spez, you're a legend!" one began, before ending with a plot twist, "...at being a daft cunt."
"Has everyone lost their minds?" he wondered, failing to connect the dots.
He banished anyone who dared cross him, banning his way through his subjects like a monarch with an itchy trigger finger.
As the day wore on, Spez grew restless. His grand plan was not unfolding as expected. But, in his characteristic arrogance, he was certain that the chaos would soon subside and he would ascend as the one true app lord.
In his plush office, surrounded by screens showing falling Reddit stocks, he clutched a crystal ball he bought from a New Age store, whispering, “Soon, my Reddit will be worth billions…” The crystal ball, deciding it had enough, promptly rolled off his desk and shattered on the Italian marble floor.
In the end, a day that began with grand ambitions ended with a lonely billionaire, surrounded by pictures of buttholes, an inbox full of profanity, a shattered crystal ball, and a kingdom in chaos.
Unbeknownst to him, the Reddit community reveled in their rebellion. They might not have won the war yet, but oh, how they celebrated the battles. As the moon replaced the sun, one phrase echoed throughout the kingdom of Reddit, repeated in posts and comments, whispered in DMs, etched into the heart of the rebellion,
"Fuck Spez."
Claim you're Australian, and live in NSW.
Show that it is your constitutional right to call any leader a cunt
https://nswcourts.com.au/articles/court-rules-its-ok-to-refer-to-tony-abbott-as-a-ct/
Sue Reddit
Should definitely be banned for not using an apostrophe.
called /u/Spez a cunt
This is inaccurate, /u/Spez lacks warmth and depth and has never given anyone pleasure.
Surprises me that you get banned for it but whenever someone else call another person that - they get away with either a warning or nothing happens. Lol.
They banned me a few days ago and didn't even have the courtesy to tell me why. I asked and got no response.
That part about bullying was pretty ironic huh.
Totally worth it!
I reported him for help, he might be get suicidal when reddit bombs. Don't want him to take the easy way out now.
It's part of the migration plan to help users move away from the platform.
Jesus christ
You did the right thing. You told the truth.
You know for a fact he put that ban through himself too.
Chad move tbh
Much like on twitter, you can insult us common folk (and landed gentry), but insult a celebrity or rich person, and that's a ban.
No one regrets getting banned from digg.
lmaoooooooooo worth every penny 🤣 🤣 🤣
Wear that permaban like a badge of honor
Oh no u/Spez got harassed. Who would've thought?
Not sure I'm fully onboard with this to be honest.
I mean, we're all adults living in a civilised society and you missed an apostrophe, it should have been "you're a cunt", not youre.
We all know better for next time ;-)
You should try appealing and say it wasn’t inflammatory, in fact really is one lol
On the last day the apps still worked I told spez to get fucked like 6 times. Maybe I got banned. Dunno. Never logging in to find out. 🤗
This is an automated message; responses will not be received by deadbeat admins.
o7
I wrote something like this and mentioned him in a comment. And the bullying modcodeofconduct user also hoping to be banned and nothing. I guess I need to go via DMs
honestly not a fan of people being treated like this
They started the harassment and bullying by overpricing their API. Ban themselves right IACF.
Wow I'm sure you epically owned spez soooo hard in that message
With a bang
I racked up 10 bans on that day shit posting to mods. Felt good man.
Lmao good on ya
I've just deleted my accounts, I entered 'Fuck u/Spez' hundreds of times into the feedback field.
Dang, that was a sweet idea. Way better than deleting accounts. Great job!
Thank you for your service 🗿
Don’t threaten me with a good time!
Yeah I'm here because of a perma ban also not just because of the API changes haha. Fuck Reddit, kinda glad they ripped the bandaid off for me. It really was an addiction.
incredibly based
o7
This is the most epic way to end a Reddit run
Marvellous.
super petty on reddit’s part.
Proving the concept correct!
Not sure I'm fully onboard with this to be honest.
I mean, we're all adults living in a civilised society and you missed an apostrophe, it should have been "you're a cunt", not youre.
We all know better for next time ;-)
This is like when Johnny Sack had to unexpectedly return home to retrieve his sweater he forgot only to find Ginny Sack gorging herself on her hidden stash of snacks and candy while she was supposed to be on a diet.
I've deleted my account on my own, to not grant them the last admin power trip. Left them a nice parting message while I was at it.
This is the way
🫡
Imma start doing that with all my throwaways from now on
This is beautiful. Thanks for doing your part!
very cool!
Fuck money hungry /u/Spez, an all censoring Reddit admins.
While I side with mods protesting, sadly some Reddit mods are also first class censoring cunts.
o7
Bro gotta commend the badassery
Based!
So say we all.
