how does my "neighbor" hear my private telephone conversations.
This is completely strange, and very long. I've exhausted all my ideas, and need fresh ones.
Some background.
my neighbor is old, very very old. Also, they are not very mobile. So something like creeping up to the window and listening in is out of the question. Although, a very long time ago (decades) they did used to hang out near an air condition vent, listening to our in person conversations.
when I say neighbor, I mean they live in a small house connected by a breezeway to my house. I do admit they are rather close. Yes I do have access to thier house.
i have no real idea of thier level of technological expertise. They are pretty manipulative so even though I'm under the impression they're very limited on expertise, it's possible they know more than they let on. Let's just say at this point, they say they have difficulties placing calls to thier saved contacts on thier jitterbug flip phone, but when your not looking they're already on the line with someone, like five seconds after you walked out the door. As far as we know they do not have access to the internet, but who knows. They do know how to navigate to at least a limited number of websites though. (Slight fear of them seeing this post, haha)
they digest far right media. This in itself doesnt seem relavent, but I suppose, in my head, this might be able to give them awareness of the types of technology that one might use to pull something like this off.
It is remotely possible that someone could have installed something inside the house maybe about 15-20 years ago, and given the neighbor access to it.
they are on a limited income, and are not independently wealthy. Any technology would have to be no only easy to use, but on the less expensive side as well.
So... Maybe about once a year for the past few years a topic or phrase that was talked about over the phone would come up in conversation the next day. Not a big deal, written off as coincidence. That's just how it goes sometimes. Well now, we've had a falling out. For the past few weeks they have brought up many private conversations I have had over my cell phone with at least 2 different people. They repeat not just what I say, but what the person on the other end of the phone says as well. I say, "Man, im pretty sure they're hearing my phone calls." The other person says, "Maybe there's a bug somewhere." The next day they start to prattle on about...a bug on the wall. But not a real bug...oh what do you call those things...you know, bugs that know things. Or I say "I'm worried about this escalating." The other person jokingly says "Oh, don't eat or drink anything from them, unless they take some first.. They may try to kill you." The next day neighbor is handing me a concoction they've made. "Oh, I've just sat down with this mixture I've created for my health. Everything I put in it is sitting on the counter there. (Cue various herbal supplements / tinctures) here have the first sip... it's not going to kill you." They are bringing up / creating situations centered around private converstaions from the night before. They may skip a day or two here and there, but it's a pretty regular occurrence.
Something worth mentioning, is that while im on the phone call, I will turn on my Bluetooth and use my earbuds. Everytime the buds connect, the call drops, and we have to call each other back. I figured I was pushing a button wrong or something and hanging up. But since the neighbor has gone somewhere, we have not been able to replicate the situation.
Things we have tried but have since been disproven:
At first we thought we were leaving windows open and they could just hear it...but all windows were closed.
maybe they can hear through the walls somehow, they are thin. But its never been a thing before. (why would they have to hang out by aforementioned vent, then) We blast the radio real loud and see how much we can hear from neighbors porch. Can't make out exact words and doesn't explain hearing the other person.
well thier radio automatically connects to iPhones ( un-updated iphone from the air drop debacle/ f-ed up feature of the radio involving nfc and bluetooth) and it did pair with my phone at some point. Maybe they can the other person over thier radio. But we tried to make it work and just cant replicate it.
we've checked obvious places for a walke talkie looking receiver. Nothing.
we've used one of those cheap bug detectors off Amazon and checked the house...and the vent. No wires comming out of strange places as far as we can tell.
I'm at my wits end. What could they be using and how can I stop it? It maybe all a coincidence, but then its as much so as Facebook / Google targeted ads that arent listening your conversations. I mean, what, are they an advanced algorithm that can guess what your thinking based on all available data on you?
Help! And thank you for taking the time. Also, sorry about the format / spelling getting all this out on mobile is tough.
TL:DR. My really old neighbor seems to hear my both sides of cell calls to at least 2 different people. Is there simple, rather cheap technology put there that they could be using. And how do i go about finding it / making it stop.
I’m certainly no expert, and maybe there’s a reason no one else has suggested this, but I think we need to consider if this is a paranoid delusion. Maybe speak to a doctor?
My father had a really similar thing happen to him. First it was his stepmother and sisters, then my mother’s family, then the neighbor down the street with a wiener dog all spying on him constantly.
Turns out that they were getting directly into his brain from all the cocaine he was snorting.
You can troubleshoot this through the process of elimination.
Don't make any calls from home for a day or two. That'll tell you if it's something localized to your home/location or if it's specific to your phone/contract.
Disable all extra technology like Bluetooth. That'll tell you if it's a Bluetooth or other connection. Ideally, turn off all extra connections beyond cellular. You could also try voice/video calls vs. phone data - I doubt this would matter, but it's always the last thing that you check.
Break your house into a few different zones. If they comment on a conversation held it in one part of the home but not another, that'll give you an idea if it's location specific.
Probably not the most helpful tip, but how about taking this opportunity to learn another language?
Go by elimination, the first thing I would do is reset the phone and don't pair it to any bluetooth device. Also change the WiFi password and the router admin password with strong randomly generated passwords.
Then keep going as usual and see if something changes.
When you said you used a bug detector, was it a radio frequency analizer? Did you check while doing a phone call, a bug that is not transmitting wouldn't be detected.
Do the people you talk with or someone living with them know your neighbour? Maybe the leak is on the other end.
If the houses share an air conditioning system maybe try closing off the vents.
I know you are sure of your experiences but have you checked your physical and mental health? A few mental conditions could make coincidences turn into paranoia, but even a few simple physical conditions like carbon monoxide poisoning and maybe even vitamin deficiency could loosen your grip on reality . Has someone else witnessed first hand these events?
Like others have said I think you should seriously consider checking your mental health with a psychiatrist.
I'm sorry if it's not the case, but you shouldn't risk it if it is, I've seen cases like this and it's really sad to witness. It only goes downhill from there if left untreated..
Kinda Sounds like they got ahold of a stingray device. Probably a pretty weak one, but it would explain everything. Bluetooth is also radio so having that connection active could be causing some interference in a weaker consumer level stingray device. Also, get a CO2 detector.
It could much simpler than all the Bluetooth answers here. Do you just talk really loudly on the phone? I can only hear my neighbour when she’s talking on the phone, but not directly to her husband.
I really don't mean to be a grammar Nazi, but the amount of times you misspelled "their" is crazy. Check to make sure your auto-correct is good. There's no way it should have allowed "thier".
Do they have a hearing aid, or one of those hearing enhancers?
That would be my guess. Cheap Bluetooth devices are creepy, I have a $2 pair of ear pods from Ali and it somehow automatically connected to my wife's iPhone the other night and I was able to pause and even change the music she was sleeping to. That all happened by accident (she was not happy), so I totally could see that happening.
You didn't specify what phone technology you use. If the signal leaves the house in an old fashioned way, crosstalk could be the cause. I'm nearly sure this is impossible for digital communication (cellphone, voice over IP). It might be an explanation if you and your neighbor still use copper cable phones.
On modern smart phones ther are some accessibility settings for hearing aid connection that iirc connects automatically to hearing aids that support the feature. It's not always using Bluetooth. The non Bluetooth variants are pretty low range I think but Bluetooth is also used for the same features. Go to you phone settings and see if you accidentally enabled something like "hearing enhance" "hearing aid enhance" etc.
Possibly they have a directional microphone. This may seem like high-tech, but it's been around forever, predating cellphones. So someone could have bought it from Radio Shack and learned to use it when they were younger. So if you're talking loudly, and they have a microphone, they can pick it up. Any idea of their former career?
I don't buy the CO idea. CO is more likely to cause headaches, nausea, and skin flushing. And everyone in the house would be showing symptoms too.
I’m going to agree with everyone else, and say check Bluetooth connection and yeah maybe even carbon monoxide BUT you say the house and their place are connected by a breezeway. It’s entirely possible that they can just hear you talking. Sound travels in really odd ways sometimes, and people talk louder than they think. Is there another room, on the opposite end of the house, that you can make calls from, to see if it helps?
Don't use Bluetooth for a while and see what changes. Turn it off, tell your partner on the phone that you lost your earbuds and see if the neighbor offers you theirs.
Bluetooth doesn't make much sense, as you usually only have one device active. But you can easily rule this out: If you have Android for example, long press the Bluetooth button, then check paired devices. Is there any device you don't recognize? Remove it. Done.
Bluetooth is usually encrypted, so if you didn't accidentally pair your device with your neighbor's there is no way they can listen in.
And even more important: Check for carbon monoxide in your home. You might be having health issues and are hallucinating or making things up.
Besides that: It might be possible your neighbor hears you talking on the phone (through the walls for example or with a bug in your home), but there is absolutely no way they'd hear the other side of the conversation. So either your side alone would already give them all the information or something else is up (see above).
What about regular conversations when you are having people over? If it’s not tech/bluetooth related they must be able to hear that too and it must seem to them like a phone call (just 2 people talking)
I don't have any more helpful advice besides what the others said but I am very interested in hearing how this goes. I hope you can get some peace of mind!
It can be trivial for someone motivated to get spying stuff. I've seen posters on lampposts for gps trackers and a friend somehow got a keylogger usb to bust his cheating ex. Maybe he got something a while back to spy on someone else but is too paranoid to get rid of it.
Could also just be that cellphones are pretty loud. I can hear some neighbours in my apartment speaking on their phone when it's quiet.
Anecdotal: my neighbors entryway is recessed, and as so happens to be like 20 meters away from a window on the second floor of my house. There's a ton of vegetation between us, but even if people are whispering there - I can hear it like they are right next to me. Especially when they are screaming at their kids to "be quiet"🫠.
It's possible that your neighbor found some spot where sound from your house travels to. Do you normally take phone calls in a specific area of the house? Vs where you usually have guests over?
How about talking about some major crimes until the police gets involved. In this case your neighbor himself may call the cops and tell them he is listening to your calls…
I've heard this story so many times from people abusing stimulants, meth in particular. I've lost friends and family to it. Every single time it was the result of meth use. Sorry if this is not the case but it's never not been meth in my experience.
Does your neighbor use a hearing aid? It wouldn't surprise me. These devices can connect to Bluetooth. I would take the advice already posted about resetting the Bluetooth connections to your phone.
It bugs me (no pun intended) how people in such cases readily suggest some kind of poisoning, intoxication, or mental meltdown. Hinting to numerous other comments in the thread. So, a word to all armchair psychiatrists out there, I have it on good authority that real psychiatrists first rule out whether the situation is real, then move on to delusional and paranoia explanations. Otherwise it would be very easy to conspire against a family member, poison them or get them locked up, and enjoy their fortune or sth. So it is a meme at this point, so joke is on me for responding seriously but at some point it has to be debunked. You have to rule out that the situation is not real before reach for the mental illness explanations.