In my opinion, having multiple accounts in different apps and instances is better than trying to combine them into the smallest amount of accounts
Having accounts in different Mastodon instances, for example, allows you to see more of Mastodon, because not all servers federate with the other servers, and some servers will recommend you different accounts, or will only partially show you posts from accounts on other servers. It also allows you to test out each one of those instances, allowing you to have some time to think before deleting or migrating your accounts. Such an approach allows you to have a different experience on each instance or server, so that eventually you will have different servers for different kinds of content.
As long as I get to cram all those accounts into a single portal or app, that's fine by me. I dislike having to look at multiple places to get slightly different variants of the same content.
I mostly agree with this. Here's how I use the Fediverse:
I have an account on every instance that I want to browse, while keeping my own personal instance up in the first tab. I browse multiple instances, and when it comes time to comment, I just add the post to my own instance and comment away.
I use all the other accounts as lurker accounts. That way, my identity on Lemmy is consistent but I still get to browse anything I want without worrying about everything federating properly.
Federation is user-driven, not admin-driven: if you subscribe to content on a new instance, that instance will become federated with yours by default.
Defederation is admin-driven, but if done right it’s an added value: if you agree with the admins’ policies, they’re filtering out content you wouldn’t want to see anyway. So it should suffice to make one account on an instance whose policies you agree with—or barring that, an instance that never defederates from anyone.
And for maximum control, you can always start your own instance that just hosts your own account.